[Reviewer's note: Echelon Entertainment sent an unusual screener copy of Horror House to review. It arrived in a standard case but had awful-looking cover art with color bleed-through that appeared to have been printed from a standard home computer printer and standard printer paper. The disc wasn't much better - with that blue / purple tint that suggests DVD-Rom. Considering the low audio and video quality of this film, I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and opted not to rate each. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that what was presented on the disc itself may indeed reflect the final product - more on that later in the review.]

There's a certain breed of horror movie that's not seen often or by many people. These films show up from small distribution companies on home video; horror movies made with shoestring budgets and amateur production values. These are flicks that are ten steps below even the dubious Sci-Fi Channel marks for quality. Often, they're so dreadful that they could be used effectively as sleep aids. But sometimes - just sometimes - there are diamonds in the rough: cheap horror films that manage to transcend their limitations to truly entertain. The Chair, which was recently released by Lionsgate, is one such example.

Horror House, recently released from Echelon Entertainment, is not.

That's not to say that Horror House is a resounding failure. It offers some moments of effective humor and has a screenplay that at least makes sense and unfolds in a linear manner. However, the scenes themselves have that staged feel of limited resources - and because of that, the dialogue and proceedings feel artificial. I suspect that only the most patient of DVD Talkers would watch this from start to finish.

Horror House follows Chloe and Jazz (Emily Fradenburgh and Anna Klemp, respectively), two aspiring actresses stuck in community theater hell: a dismal production that involves the cast wearing bedsheets as togas and thumping around on stage. The best scene of the film is the first one - a long tracking shot that reveals the awful goings-on on stage and the dismayed reactions of the thinly-populated audience, some of whom leave in disgust as the camera pans the near empty theater. Chloe and Jazz decide they're meant for better things, and when they discover their next showing has an audience of one, they walk out.

The duo takes an offer to appear in a horror film along with several other dimwitted wannabe thespians, and they rather unwisely surrender their cell phones and car keys to a clearly demented director who plans on filming them in an unscripted movie inside a 200-year-old home.

Surprise of surprises: they start getting murdered one by one.

There's no mystery to this movie as it's made clear from the get go who the killer is. The "surprise" twist ending is anything but. In between, there's a lot of awkward talk and unsuccessful comedy and suspense.

I give the filmmakers credit for at least producing a coherent film, but it's just too low budget and transparent to be of much interest even to horror fans. Skip it.

The DVD

Video:

The screener reviewed here had a dismal webcam-looking quality to it: grainy, full of artifacts with movements looking herky-jerky. It was widescreen but not anamorphic. I'll give the movie the benefit of the doubt - given the screener note at the start of this review. The end credits read "footage captured by Panasonic DVX100," however, so don't expect much from the final product.

Sound:

The sole audio track was a serviceable but uninspired English language Dolby Digital 2.0 effort. As with the video quality, I'll avoid rating the audio since this was a screener.

Extras:

Well, it must be said that this DVD comes loaded with extras - more so than many Hollywood releases on home video.

For beginners, the first of two screens of Special Features offers a Gag Reel (4:14) with a bunch of rapidly-edited scenes of the actors hamming it up for the camera and messing up their lines; a Slideshow of stills from the movie (2:37); and the film's trailer (2:14).

The second Special Features screen provides access to two audio commentary tracks. Option one has director Chad Martin and producer / cinematographer Nick Evert, while option two features actor / writer Justen Overlander with fellow actors Emily Fradenburgh, Anna Klemp, and Gary David Keast. A random sampling suggests that both tracks are lively and the participants are having fun.

Final Thoughts:

Horror House has a linear storyline that's coherently presented - a fact that makes it better than the majority of shoestring budget horror productions. Still, it's likely not enough for most visitors to this site - even the horror hounds. Skip it.

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