Reviewer's Bias*
Loves: Mel Brooks, The Zucker Brothers films
Likes: Parodies
Dislikes: Lame comedy
Hates: The [Blank] Movie phenomenon, Friedberg and Seltzer films

The Movie
I have an unhealthy relationship with the films that have spawned from Scary Movie, including such terrible efforts as Date Movie and Epic Movie. I've found nothing enjoyable about these cinematic abortions, yet I watch each one on DVD, without fail It's pretty much the definition of insanity, though I certainly don't expect a different outcome, and I've yet to be disappointed, as each film has been as uninspired as its title and worse than its predecessor.

No longer housed at Fox, and taking up residence at much smaller Lionsgate, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are working with much less backing, and the lack of budget is highly evident, making the decision to parody the summer's big blockbusters a massive mistake. You can't do special effects blow-outs on the cheap, and if you do, you end up with the pathetic versions of Iron Man, Hulk and Batman seen here (and the less said about the attempts at Alvin and Chipmunks andKung-Fu Panda the better.) The costumes are just better than what you get from a small-town Sunday School pageant. Of course, the film has no ability to stay on message, so you get such fresh and timely parody subjects like theWWE, Dr. Phil and Michael Jackson.

The main story, or what passes for one, follows a couple on the rocks (WarGames 2's Matt Larter and MTV's Vanessa Minnillo), and what happens when some unexplained disaster occurs during a party, forcing the handsome guy, Juney (a Juno parody from "MADtv"'s Crista Flanagan) the token black guy (G-Thang) and his girlfriend Kim Kardashian (who may be playing a character named Lisa, but there are no noticeable character traits) as they try to...do something. Escape the city? Find someplace to hide? Save the world? These are all decent interpretations of what happens, but none really explain the mess that unfurls in the hopeless search for something funny.

As is usually the case in a Friedberg/Seltzer movie, the intended comedy is derived mostly by referencing a movie or character (normally by actually saying the subjects name, in case the parody is so bad we miss it.) Why bother attempting something witty or clever, like a gag about stereotypical characters in disaster films. Honestly, disaster films are barely even referenced, outside of minor bits of Cloverfield, Day After Tomorrow and the incredibly topical Twister. They didn't let limitations like, say, the name of the film stop them before, so why change that now? So instead of disaster movies, this movie pulls "inspiration" from films including Hancock, Superbad, Wanted, Sex and the City and Prince Caspian, along with older classics, like A Night at the Museum and Step Up. The way these references are forced has reached the point where I expect them to start referencing their own parody movies (or perhaps they are already, explaining the quality..

As weak as most of the movie is, God help me, there are actually some mildly amusing bits to this film, all but exclusively limited to "MADtv" cast member Nicole Parker's portrayal of the princess from Enchanted as mentally ill and the concept of Flanagan's imitation of Juno, exaggerating her hipster manner of speech. Of course, as with all things inFriedberg film, they don't know when to say when, killing any enjoyment by over doing it to torturous effect. There are several moments, including the High School Musical number and theKung-Fu Panda fight where I momentarily left my physical body and entered some sort of limbo for an indeterminate time, only to re-enter my human suit and think "It's still going?" That's probably the reason this fresh Hell breaks the 80-minute mark. That, and the usual dance battles and fist fights and an ending musical number that's simply unnecessary, horribly forced, completely unfunny and serves mainly to remind you of all the references made in the movie. The best thing I can say about these guys who claim to write and direct, is they are incredibly consistent (at making terrible movies.)

For those wondering, this unrated "Cataclysmic Edition" simply has harder dialogue, including the profanity-powered finale (which is probably Hard-R level..) There's no nudity added (nor any to start with), but that Ms.Minnillo sure isn't hard on the eyes, putting both Kardashian and Friedberg/Seltzer regular Carmen Electra to shame.

The DVDs
A one-disc release, this DVD is packaged in a standard keepcase, which is wrapped in an embossed slipcover that made me insane. Why? The headline on the back of the box says "Lewd. Rewd. Crewd. Newd." Take away the fact that the only nudity is blurred full-frontal male junk... What the hell is with this spelling? I'm guessing, like the rest of the movie, it's a failed attempt at a joke, but what's the point? Was a properly spelled line of rhyming words not good enough? Sadly, most of the people interested enough in this movie to turn it over probably won't even notice the misspelling. Back to the DVD... The disc has a mildly animated anamorphicwidescreen menu with options to watch the film, adjust languages, select scenes and check out the extras. Audio options include English Dolby Digital 5.1 EX and 2.0 tracks, while subtitles are available in English and Spanish, along with closed captioning.

The Quality
The care that was taken in bringing this film to DVD far exceeds the effort that was put into the actual movie, as it looks really good. The anamorphicwidescreen transfer is quite beautiful, with bright, vivid color and a crisp image that's free of any dirt, damage or compression artifacts, while boasting some impressive fine detail. The problem with all this high video quality is the low-budget digital effects look terrible.

The audio is similarly more impressive than the content of the movie, with the Dolby Digital 5.1 EX soundtrack offering up the awfully infectious songs in the movie in excellent quality, and lending the various booms and bangs some heft in the mix, which moves things around the room nicely. There's is nothing to complain about when it comes to the sound, which is good, because you'll be too tired from complaining about the movie anyway.

The Extras
The main extra is a feature-length audio commentary with Aaron Seltzer, Jason Friedberg, producer Kenny Yates, and Minnillo, G-Thang, and Lanter. Smartly, Seltzer and Friedberg (and Yates for the most part) seem to sit quietly, letting their stars carry the load, telling stories about the production and joke around (with G-Thang leading the way, remembering his attempts to have sex with the female portion of the cast), but that really only serves to explain why the movie wasn't that funny. Perhaps if they recognized how bad the movie is, it would have made for a better time. If you manage to listen until the end, another guest makes a pointless appearance that further enhances my negative view of them.

Past the commentary, there's a collection of featurettes available, which can be viewed separately or in an approximately 45-minute bunch. Up first is "Straight from the Ladies," a four-minute piece about the participation of Parker and Flanagan, with them getting interviewed in-character, which is amusing. It's followed by the longestfeaturette, the 10-minute "G-Thang's Tour" a behind-the-scenes look with G-Thang. He can get annoying due to his oversized personality, but it's a cute comedy piece about the film's Louisiana set. Apparently, the producers liked him so much, they went back to the well for "Sitting Down with a Stand-Up," eight more minutes of G-Thang, this time built around an interview.

"This is How We Do It" is a pretty standard Making-Of overview, with plenty of on-set footage and interviews, though the nine-minutefeaturette has "Pop-Up Video"-style trivia throughout, adding to the presentation. "Girl Fight" is easily the most gratuitous extra, but it's at least short, at just 1:41, covering the film's wrestling match between Electra andKardashian. The final featurette is "Who's Spoofing Who?" which talks about the actors here getting spoofed elsewhere. This would have worked better if there were bigger stars who have been spoofed more, or if they actually had any footage of the spoofs (especially the MADtv imitation, since most of us probably haven't seen them.)

There's two more extra, in the form of sing-alongs for "I'm F@$#ing Matt Damon" and "High School Musical," which, as mentioned before, are rather infectious, but pretty basic. The odd thing is, the Matt Damon song is uncensored in the clip aurally, but the sing-along text is censored. What the F@#%?

The disc wraps with a collection of trailers that are actually way more entertaining than the main feature.

The Bottom Line
The best thing you can say about this film is its failures seem to have slowed down its creators' frantic slate of awful movies (ifIMDB is to be believed.) Because other than that, and a few cute moments, it's a pretty sad excuse for a comedy. The DVD is a far more impressive presentation, in terms of the quality and extras, but to appreciate it, you have to watch the movie, which gives it all negative value. Except for the hotness of Ms.Minnillo. That remains unsullied.

Follow him on Twitter

*The Reviewer's Bias section is an attempt to help readers use the review to its best effect. By knowing where the reviewer's biases lie on the film's subject matter, one can read the review with the right mindset.