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Table One

New Line // R // March 18, 2003
List Price: $19.98 [Buy now and save at Amazon]

Review by Don Houston | posted March 6, 2003 | E-mail the Author
Movie: The movie is about a group of guys with much more money than common sense who think that if they go into business together, and start a restaurant, they will become more attractive to women. The real fun starts when they enlist the aid of a player who finds them a financial backer, in the form of a mobster. Okay, the plot is nonexistent and the characters, with few exceptions, are losers in various forms. The two main characters were the mobster, Frankie "Chips", played by Veteran actor Burt Young, and a spoiled rich wannabe socialite, Norman, played by David Herman. If not for Burt's portrayal of a no nonsense "businessman" the movie would've been unwatchable. David's character was seemingly a combination of every braggart, every self important jerk, and every waste of space rich kid using daddy's money to feel important, that you could imagine. Seeing him get smacked around near the end was almost worth a rental in and of itself. The movie was more of a Zen experience than a linear, plotted movie. Perhaps the fact that this was Michael Scott Bregman's first directing effort (mostly known for being the producer of The Adventures of Pluto Nash, The Real McCoy, and The Shadow) as well as his first writing effort is where so many things went wrong. It's a shame that the movie doesn't qualify as being in the "it's so bad it's good" category as that would give me something more to work with.

Picture: The dvd gives you the choice of viewing the movie in widescreen or full frame. Both looked fairly clean although low budget at times. The transfer was good enough that I rarely noticed any artifacts or other problems.

Sound: The audio track was in Dolby 2.0. It was clear and decent although a few scenes seemed a little unbalanced at times.

Extras: There were trailers for Knockaround Guys, Dinner Rush, and The Sleeping Dictionary. There was an Easter Egg of sorts that had the dvd mastering credits. That's it.

Final Thoughts: It's very easy to be harsh on a movie that provided so little actual entertainment so I went out of my way looking for something nice to say about the movie. I can almost see people making comparisons between Table One and other loser-bachelor type movies but in fairness, their limitations tend to pale in comparison to this one. Burt Young's gangster is well played but most of the others either overacted or could've phoned in their roles which prevented me from having much fun here. The story itself was full of holes large enough to make Jurassic Park make sense and most of the characters weren't developed enough to ring true. If I had to say something nice about it, I'd have to suggest that you rent it once to watch Burt Young or the stripclub scene at the end. Pass this one up.

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