Writer-producer Aubrey Wisberg is credited with the script for the clever, highly entertaining Nazi-spy movie They Came to Blow Up America, which is a real anomaly in his career of undistinguished movie writing: Port Sinister, anyone? Wisberg and his co-producer & frequent co-writer Jack Pollexfen enjoyed a surprise hit with their 1951 The Man from Planet X, the first '50s sci-fi movie about a visitor from outer space. When Wisberg or Pollexfen turned to fantastic subjects the result was usually a wild dice-roll in hope of a surprise hit: Captive Women, The Indestructible Man, Daughter of Dr. Jekyll. The talented director Edgar G. Ulmer had helmed Planet X, which may have motivated the choice of the once-admired German director E.A. Dupont for their United Artists quickie The Neanderthal Man. It didn't help: this 1953 groaner is weak tea in every department. It's claim to fame is as a laughable example of well-intentioned but hapless 'fifties filmmaking.

Most of The Neanderthal Man is filmed on tiny sets, including mountain exteriors represented by an unusually cramped interior setting. Although the story takes place in California's Sierra Nevada Mountains, most of the action footage looks like Griffith Park. Grumpy 'lone wolf' researcher Professor Cliff Groves (Robert Sha(y)ne of TV's The Adventures of Superman) harangues his associates in Los Angeles, claiming that Neanderthal Men must have been just as intelligent as Homo Sapiens because their brains were bigger. Groves is so obnoxious and unreasonable that his theories (which we never really hear) are rejected. Meanwhile, up near Groves' home lab in the Sierras, both a local rancher (Robert Bray) and the Game Warden George Oakes (Robert Long) are confronted by a living, snarling saber-toothed tiger. Oakes carries a plaster cast of the cat's footprint to zoological specialist Dr. Ross Harkness (Richard Crane), who comes to the mountains to investigate. Harkness helps Groves' attractive fianceé Ruth Marshall (Doris Merrick) when her car breaks down, and meets Groves' pretty daughter Jan (Joy Terry). Snooping around in Groves' lab, Harkness finds evidence that the Professor has been working with a serum that returns living things to their most primitive evolutionary forms -- the prehistoric tiger is actually a housecat. Groves has been injecting his mute maid Celia (Jeanette Quinn) as well -- photos show Celia reverting to a more feral state. What Harkness doesn't immediately recognize is that a rash of murders taking place are Groves' work as well -- he's been injecting himself with the serum, and transforming into a bona fide lowbrow caveman, with violent tendencies.

The Neanderthal Man may be a maladroit joke of a movie, but it's also a very funny, entertaining one. Robert Shayne's dialogue consists almost exclusively of scientific non-sequiturs and oddly phrased insults: "This is my cross, the penalty of being born into an era of little men." "You're nothing but a vacuum of ego." The story is a rather pointless take on the Jekyll & Hyde tale, as Groves' only reason for transforming is to feel the power of his primitive urges. These are given rather sordid dimensions, as the Neanderthal Groves kidnaps and rapes the local waitress Nola (game gal Beverly Garland in her first of several fantastic scream queen appearances). At one point ape-man Groves potentially does the same thing with his girlfriend Ruth. We're surprised that such sleazy events could squeak by the censor, although the movie doesn't let us find out if a baby Neanderthal Man has been conceived. So there is room for a "Son of Neanderthal Man"... I'm sure the rights can't be too pricey.

It should be pointed out that the film's poster art relies on images of a monster-man threatening the film's various women. "What Animal Desires Drove Him On?" shouts the blurb. Maybe the movie should have been called The Neanderthal Rapist. Mom, don't let your boys miss this one!

There's no point in belaboring the no-budget filming style, although the film's effects need to be touched on. Some rather sloppy "in between" stages of Groves' transformation are sketched, none too credibly, until he suddenly emerges wearing an immobile mask with weird doll eyes. Oversized and dead looking, the eyes are pretty silly. The Neanderthal menace just stalks around like a juvenile delinquent, attacking men and carrying off babes, as when he espies Nola posing for a photograph in the woods.

The saber-toothed tiger is really a mess. A real tiger is seen running among some trees and wrestling with a victim, hopefully the animal trainer. In several shots, the big cat's tether chain is clearly visible. And a couple of cuts show a much younger tiger cub. Was the baby tiger meant for scenes showing the housecat's transformation? Neither live cat has any characteristics of a real saber-toothed tiger, especially not the tusk-like teeth. We only see those in wholly unconvincing close-ups of a stuffed tiger head, where big teeth have been added.

The "hero" scientist Harkness is a real S.O.B.. He barges into Groves' lab on the flimsiest of pretexts, goes through Groves' private researches and even develops some film he finds. When he's established that Groves is the killer, Harkness persists in hiding what he knows from the cops even though more women are kidnapped and more men murdered. And all because he doesn't want to upset Jan Groves, a potential hot prospect in the girlfriend department.

The most unsavory part of the show involves the maid Celia, played by Jeanette Quinn, who was better known as "Tandra" Quinn in the mind-numbingly bizarre inept-o-rama horror film Mesa of Lost Women. Groves has been drugging Celia, injecting her with the serum and photographing what happens. All we see is a series of poorly doctored photos of Celia's transformation -- not into a cave-girl, but into some kind of wild, beast-like woman, complete with different makeup and hair. Celia is dark-skinned and identified as Mexican in origin; Groves hired her out of an orphanage or something. What the progression of retouched photos really suggest is that the 'primitive form' that Celia has taken is that of a black woman -- her nose becomes flat and wide. She does not look anything like Groves' primitive ape man.

The Neanderthal Man is quite an experience in unrelieved Z-grade filmmaking, made at a time when producers were just discovering that a pretty crummy movie could still make money if its subject matter pushed the right exploitation buttons. The goofy makeup, stiff acting and dated attitudes are enjoyable, as is the scene where Ruth's head rub makes Groves' hair stick straight up, making a nerd fashion statement. Richard Crane and Beverly Garland would meet again six years later, as ill-fated lovers in the slightly more reasonable horror fantasy The Alligator People. Garland definitely gets in her bid as an on-screen screamer, bar none: her shrieking fit when the Neanderthal Man grabs her is a real riot.

Scream Factory's Double Feature Blu-ray + DVD Combo Pack of The Beast of Hollow Mountain and The Neanderthal Man can't be faulted for picture quality -- both shows look terrific. Beast has some scratching on the titles and near changeovers, indicating wear on the source element used. But the color is excellent throughout. Raúl Lavista's music score has some effective, brassy moments. Beast is often cited as the first animation monster movie in CinemaScope.

The B&W Neanderthal Man is also in prime condition, looking so good that we can see that many outdoors establishing "shots" are really frozen still images. The audio is just as crisp, giving us a good listen to Albert Glasser's characteristically blaring music. The MGMHD channel decided to cablecast some flat shows in widescreen, which resulted in this movie being cropped to 1:78 and spoiling many compositions. MGMHD also occasionally shows the classic The Red Shoes cropped, chopping off heads and dancing feet. But fear not, Scream Factory's new Blu-ray version bears a correct, proper 1:37 Academy ratio.

On a scale of Excellent, Good, Fair, and Poor,
The Beast of Hollow Mountain and The Neanderthal Man Blu-ray + DVD Double Bill rates:
Movie: Beast and Neanderthal: Good, but Very Good for committed horror/sci-fi fans
Video: Excellent
Sound: Excellent
Supplements: none
Deaf and Hearing-impaired Friendly? N0; Subtitles: None
Packaging: One Blu-ray and one DVD disc in Keep case
Reviewed: December 29, 2013