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Lord of the Strings, The
Ventura // R // April 8, 2003
List Price: $19.99 [Buy now and save at Amazon]
THE MOVIE
Lord of the Strings (which is actually titled "Lord of the G-Strings", but has been changed on this R-Rated disc to distinguish it from the unrated DVD which is also available) is a spoof of Lord of the Rings that tries desperately to be as funny as Monty Python, but can't even muster the humor of Monty Hall.
It stars Misty Mundae as "Dildo Saggins" and she is joined by a couple of other young babes on her quest, played by Darian Caine and A.J. Khan. I'm not a big follower of this kind of softcore cinema, but apparently Mundae is a popular star among fans of these types of movies, and she does have a certain charm about her – although I was kind of surprised at how "plain" looking she and most of the other women in this title were. I've actually seen a lot more attractive women doing porn, which is odd, since the most the women are asked to do here is take their tops off and do a little girl/girl kissing.
With a script and filmmaking style that makes the movie look like it was put together by a group of high school seniors doing a film project (although that statement is probably cruel to many high school seniors), Lord of the Strings is never funny nor sexy, which means it's pretty much of a bust (no pun intended!) as a movie.
The problem here is that the obvious selling point is the sex. But in the movie's 72-minute running time (which is misrepresented as 100 minutes on the box cover), we get only glimpses of nudity here and there and unfortunately none of the sex scenes are appealing, nor do they seem to last more than a minute or so.
I'm guessing the problem here stems from the fact that all the "good stuff" (i.e. the sex) has been edited out of this R-Rated version. Which makes one wonder why an R-Rated version was created in the first place, since presumingly those scenes are the whole appeal of a movie like this one.
THE DVD
Video:
Shown in the full-frame format, the video is not particularly sharp, and has even a hint of graininess to it at times. In some scenes, you'll notice "dirt" on the lens that wasn't caught by the filmmakers, and while I'm guessing most of what we see here is from the source material rather than the transfer to DVD, this is not exactly the movie you'll want to use when showing your friends and neighbors how sharp of a picture a DVD can have.
Audio:
The audio here is standard and serviceable, if not spectacular. Since the whole movie looks like it was shot on a budget lower than most Afterschool Specials, the less than stellar audio seems to fit right in with the less than stellar video and less than stellar movie.
Extras:
The unrated version of this movie is apparently loaded with bonus goodies, but the only bonus material on this R-Rated version is a music video (Punch The Clown, "Love James") and four trailers for low-budget shlock movies that were made back in the 1960s and are now available on DVD. There are also pages that list the website address and give a special magazine offer – but those are more advertisements than actual extras.
THE BOTTOM LINE
I can't imagine even die-hard Misty Mundae fans would want to pick this DVD up. I mean, the real reason to watch this kind of stuff is to see some female flesh, and if you want to see that, then you should pick up the Unrated version instead of this one, which seems to have all of the good sex material cut out – leaving only the lame jokes and the occasional topless girl here and there.
Misty Mundae does seem to have a certain appeal – in fact, I'm making a note to check out something else she has starred in the next time I get the chance. However, even her girl-next-door looks, cute voice and nice body aren't enough to make me want to sit through Lord of the Strings again.
Lord of the Strings (which is actually titled "Lord of the G-Strings", but has been changed on this R-Rated disc to distinguish it from the unrated DVD which is also available) is a spoof of Lord of the Rings that tries desperately to be as funny as Monty Python, but can't even muster the humor of Monty Hall.
It stars Misty Mundae as "Dildo Saggins" and she is joined by a couple of other young babes on her quest, played by Darian Caine and A.J. Khan. I'm not a big follower of this kind of softcore cinema, but apparently Mundae is a popular star among fans of these types of movies, and she does have a certain charm about her – although I was kind of surprised at how "plain" looking she and most of the other women in this title were. I've actually seen a lot more attractive women doing porn, which is odd, since the most the women are asked to do here is take their tops off and do a little girl/girl kissing.
With a script and filmmaking style that makes the movie look like it was put together by a group of high school seniors doing a film project (although that statement is probably cruel to many high school seniors), Lord of the Strings is never funny nor sexy, which means it's pretty much of a bust (no pun intended!) as a movie.
The problem here is that the obvious selling point is the sex. But in the movie's 72-minute running time (which is misrepresented as 100 minutes on the box cover), we get only glimpses of nudity here and there and unfortunately none of the sex scenes are appealing, nor do they seem to last more than a minute or so.
I'm guessing the problem here stems from the fact that all the "good stuff" (i.e. the sex) has been edited out of this R-Rated version. Which makes one wonder why an R-Rated version was created in the first place, since presumingly those scenes are the whole appeal of a movie like this one.
THE DVD
Video:
Shown in the full-frame format, the video is not particularly sharp, and has even a hint of graininess to it at times. In some scenes, you'll notice "dirt" on the lens that wasn't caught by the filmmakers, and while I'm guessing most of what we see here is from the source material rather than the transfer to DVD, this is not exactly the movie you'll want to use when showing your friends and neighbors how sharp of a picture a DVD can have.
Audio:
The audio here is standard and serviceable, if not spectacular. Since the whole movie looks like it was shot on a budget lower than most Afterschool Specials, the less than stellar audio seems to fit right in with the less than stellar video and less than stellar movie.
Extras:
The unrated version of this movie is apparently loaded with bonus goodies, but the only bonus material on this R-Rated version is a music video (Punch The Clown, "Love James") and four trailers for low-budget shlock movies that were made back in the 1960s and are now available on DVD. There are also pages that list the website address and give a special magazine offer – but those are more advertisements than actual extras.
THE BOTTOM LINE
I can't imagine even die-hard Misty Mundae fans would want to pick this DVD up. I mean, the real reason to watch this kind of stuff is to see some female flesh, and if you want to see that, then you should pick up the Unrated version instead of this one, which seems to have all of the good sex material cut out – leaving only the lame jokes and the occasional topless girl here and there.
Misty Mundae does seem to have a certain appeal – in fact, I'm making a note to check out something else she has starred in the next time I get the chance. However, even her girl-next-door looks, cute voice and nice body aren't enough to make me want to sit through Lord of the Strings again.
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