Short Takes

No frisky little horndogs, your dreams haven't come to fruition despite the title's implication. What's delivered is about a half-hour of tedious behind-the-scenes footage from Anna Kournikova's south-of-the-border calendar shoot showcasing outfits that remain crushingly chaste no matter how artfully the tennis tart's ever-greased tum-tum is brandished. June 2003's cowgirl getup, which also graces the cover, creeps closest toward pinup glory as freeze-frame pervs will attest at timecode 4:45. Troll the internet. Ogle Anna courtside. Sweat to her Basic Elements, but be forewarned of this limp video scrapbook. Although it's likely the only time any CineSchlocker will witness Ms. Kournikova squeal, "My knees are killing me!!!" (2003, 42 mins [with extras], Fullframe, DD 2.0, Calendar slideshow and bonus footage including the dizzy winner of a "Meet Anna" contest.)