Short Takes

Like the stubborn occupant of some hopelessly clogged commode, this putrid pile of gross-out comedy just won't flush without a fight. Bleary-eyed CineSchlockers have likely seen late-night ads squawking about its offensive (a.k.a. hi-larious) content. What they fail to mention is this circa 1996 Kentucky Fried knockoff is about as FRESH as it is funny: a Batman movie parody where the crusader actually uses -- a baseball bat -- get it!?!, repeated stabs at one Orenthal J. Simpson and even a lame play on "I Love L.A." called -- wait for it -- "I Hate L.A." Gena Lee Nolin, then of "Baywatch" babedom, and Michael Clark Duncan, future Oscar nominee, make appearances they surely now wish they hadn't. Other notables who should've known better include drunken guitar slinger Slash as host of a bag lady beauty pageant and Long Island Lolita diddler Joey Butafuco in another top-of-mind movie spoof -- The Godmother -- replete with mumbled Marlon impression. Blame Vince Offer for thinking any nanosecond of his public-access TV hijinks were worthy of upchucking onto celluloid, but have him COMMITTED for his final-credits delusions that his sperm-soaked yuks were stolen by the scribes of There's Something About Mary. 12 breasts. 13 corpses. Projectile ejaculation. Multiple man hineys. Gratuitous hari krishnas. One crotch squib. Gratuitous urination. Pickled fetus feasting. The Rhymer's bonsmots are typical of this disaster: "Give me all your semen and there'll be no screamin'!!!" (1996/1999, 92 mins, 1.85:1, DD 2.0, Original TV show clip, Outtakes, Screen tests, Trailer.)