Short Takes

VICTORY OVER VHS OBLIVION! Continued vigilance nets another capture after 68 weeks among CineSchlock-O-Rama's Most Wanted.

Teen valley gal Terry (Joyce Hyser) pulls a reverse Tootsie when she realizes her hot bod is keeping her from being the next Geraldo Rivera. But whilst conducting a gender-bending investigative report on the equality of the sexes, she falls for a James Brown-worshiping loner (Clayton Rohner) who finds himself the frequent target of perennial high-school thug William Zabka (forever goon-cast after The Karate Wimp). Zaniness naturally abounds as Terry juggles this vaguely homoerotic new crush, her yuppified frat-boy beau and Sherilyn Fenn's rather randy locker slut. Throughout, Terry's chronic horndog bubba (Billy Jayne) steals many a scene by schooling her in such arts of manhood as testicular readjustment and centerfold salivation. This artifact of the bygone era of '80s teen sex comedies is more sentimental than most, yet its resolution STILL manages to dictate that its starlet get topless! Fortunately, the Corey Haim retread, Just One of the GIRLS, didn't require his dropping trou. CineSchlockers will be infuriated to learn the flick remains stripped of its theatrical glory with a criminally lackluster transfer thoughtfully "formated to fit your screen." Two breasts. Jock flinging. Pizza-eating fish. Gratuitous space geeks. Multiple man hiney. Reptile wrangling. Gratuitous Yentl ref. Two-man beach brawl. Bud consoles his conniving sis: "Of course you're confused, you're wearing my underwear!" (1985, 100 mins, Fullframe, DD 2.0, Unrelated trailers.)