DEFECTIVE DISC ALERT! Approximately four minutes of the stated 84-minute running time are missing due to a mastering error at the layer change. CineSchlockers report the same is true of Warlock Moon to the tune of TEN minutes! Media Blasters has not addressed either error with consumers. This disc's overall recommendation has been lowered accordingly.
The world's greatest living drive-in movie critic Joe Bob Briggs returns with this gem of an '80s slasher all-but-lost to audiences since it belly flopped upon an ill-timed arrival AFTER the stalk 'n' stab craze bled dry. Christopher Stryker heads a gaggle of misfits inexplicably eager to recruit football washout Christopher Cousins for a weekend of slinging swamp slime at their 'fraidy-cat biology teacher (Maureen Mooney). First, though, Jersey slut Millie Prezioso flashes her goodies for Mr. Cousins (it's her way of shaking hands) and, soon after, he snatches a completely uneuphemistic forward pass from the front seat of a CONVERTIBLE as Mr. Stryker does donuts in the turf. Why? They were BORED, of course. Besides the home team was getting spanked. Wait, that's not a euphemism either. One-shot auteur Douglas Grossman eventually does stray into some kinkified territory when Mr. Stryker's ain't-got-nothin-else-to-do prank skirts I Spit on Your Grave territory by pawing his lude'd-out teech and snarling, "WHY DO YOU HIDE YOUR BODY!?!" Well, that does it, he's gonna pay -- and his lil friends too! Best leave the Drive-In Totals to the originator for this one, but Joe Bob, bud, what's with the trippy-dippy LSD intro to Joe Bob's Private Screening Room? Small price to pay to sit at the boots of the master as he expertly explains such idiosyncrasies of slasher cinema as: "Unless you can see the steel protruding from both sides of the body --- they ARE NOT dead!!!" CineSchlockers should note Mr. Briggs recently completed his NINTH commentary for Media Blasters. Click for an ongoing catalog. (1986, 79 mins, 1.66:1, Two commentaries, Director and writer interviews [which contain snippets of the clipped car chase], Trailers and TV spots.)
G. Noel Gross is a Dallas graphic designer and avowed Drive-In Mutant who specializes in scribbling B-movie reviews. Noel is inspired by Joe Bob Briggs and his gospel of blood, breasts and beasts.