The four horsemen can't be far behind when gringos are hightailing it SOUTH of the Rio Grande en masse and that dude from "Riptide" is president. Pretty much time to kiss the ol' keister nighty-night! Apocalyptic auteur Roland Emmerich returns with, for all its wondrous CGI shenanigans, is really another '50s throwback very much akin to Independence Day and his Godzilla remake. Here the atomic beastie that embodies mankind's folly-ridden technological tinkering is shelved altogether. Who needs a fire-breathing metaphor when you can just have big, bad Mama Nature herself smack the proverbial reset button on we puny polluters? Scads of twisters in El Lay. Hail the size of Datsuns in Tokyo. Flash-frozen whirly birds in jolly ol' England. But it's Lady Liberty who takes the severest hide tanning. First tsunami'd -- then turned into the world's largest ice sculpture. Last year, The Core. Now this!?! It's enough to make yours truly wanna skitter out and buy a goldang Prius! CineSchlockers should note it takes Mr. Emmerich the entire length of climatological cinema's most ostentatious achievement before tipping his hat to late-night radio legend Art Bell and famed alien abductee Whitley Strieber who co-wrote The Coming Global Superstorm from which this doomsday delight was born. Wouldn't they have been commentary GOLD compared to dreary ol' Roland and uber-spaz producer Mark Gordon?
No breasts. 86 corpses (give or take 567 million). Gratuitous Culture Club riff. Cliff dangling. Insta-popsiclization. Ravenous wolves. Ill-advised nature hike. Human pancake via Angelyne billboard. Book burning. Ingenue Emmy Rossum knows how to get ahead in Hollywood: "I'm using my body heat to warm you!"
2004, 123 mins, 2.35:1 anam, DD & DTS 5.1, Director and Crew commentaries, Deleted and alternate scene, Audio demo, No trailer. Note: A future release will add a second disc of docs and other dubious doodads already available in foreign markets.
G. Noel Gross is a Dallas graphic designer and avowed Drive-In Mutant who specializes in scribbling B-movie reviews. Noel is inspired by Joe Bob Briggs and his gospel of blood, breasts and beasts.