The Movie
If you are wondering what kind of film National Lampoon's Gold Diggers is, the following question will explain exactly what you're dealing with: What's more embarrassing to watch, Louise Lasser, of Bananas and "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman," psychotically eat dessert off the naked body of American Pie's Upchuck (Chris Owen), or Renee Taylor ("The Nanny") giving oral to a corndog? They're both pretty damn hard to look at. The same goes for the rest of this train wreck.

The DVD, trailer and ads made a big deal of blonde Nikki Ziering being involved in this film, but she's such a minor distraction in an otherwise boring movie. The plot centers around Cal (Will Friedle, "Boy Meets World") and Leonard (Owen), a pair of small-time con artists, who think they've hit the jackpot when they meet Lasser and Taylor, heiresses to a condom fortune.

This being a screwball comedy, the women have their own reason for being interested in the guys, that being a lack of cash. By taking insurance on Cal and Leonard and then killing them, their problems could be solved. Of course, Cal and Leonard are thinking the same thing.

From there on out, the story just gets more and more ridiculous. Various murders, sexual hijinks and the like pile up until the film collapses on itself in a fit of stunt stupidity. It's really sad to see someone like Lasser, who has done some truly quality comedic work, sink to playing stoned in a stupid sex comedy. Worse yet is the presence of Rudy De Luca, who plays the ladies' war-obsessed uncle. As Mel Brooks writing partner, one would think he could have possible added more to the film with a rewrite than with his unnecessary presence as an actor.

The DVD
MGM has slapped this mess onto one DVD, packaged in a standard keepcase. The static menus are in anamorphic widescreen, with options to play the movie, select scenes and view the special features. Surprisingly, the menus are well-designed and look very good. The scene selection menus include still previews and titles, while the film has closed captioning.

The Quality
The anamorphic, widescreen video for this film is much better than it deserves to be, with excellent color, detail and black levels. There's not a hint of damage or dirt, and grain is kept to a bare minimum. Some of the scenes are shockingly good looking.

Though the soundtrack is in 5.1 Surround, there wasn't much need for such a mix. The comedy has little going on aurally, and the music is just so-so. Color me unimpressed.

The Extras
It doesn't make much sense, but MGM put a bunch of extras together for this DVD, though only one is of much interest. That would be "Nikki Nude Outtakes," just under two minutes of footage of the naked chick from the movie. But for some reason, she's mostly dressed. These two minutes probably match the entire amount of screentime she received in the film.

Once you get past that, you have four groups of unused footage from the movie, including two alternate endings, an alternate beginning, six minutes of deleted scenes and bloopers. You can easily understand why the deleted footage ended up cut, while the bloopers aren't very funny (like the movie.)

Four featurettes are also included, three of which are guides to gold-digging. The first two feature Ziering, aimed separately at men and women, while the two guys share their tips as well. These feel a lot like EPK material, and aren't very entertaining. Ziering is especially annoying. The fourth featurette again features the blonde bombshell, as she prepares for a photo shoot for the film. Once again, its pretty boring watching her be hot. For some odd reason, a shot of her nipple is blurred out. Isn't that the whole reason she's on this DVD?

A handful of full-frame (and ocassionally letterboxed) trailers are also included, for Gold Diggers, MGM, National Lampoon's Dorm Daze, When Will I Be Loved, The Yes Men and Species III, along with three pieces of MGM cover art.

The Bottom Line
Wow. Just...wow. Why this film was made is a confounding mystery. With each film released with its name, National Lampoon sinks deeper and deeper into a comedy sinkhole that seems increasingly inescapable. Despite the relatively dense DVD production, this DVD is just another step backward for a once-proud comedy legend. Skip it and don't blame me if you find yourself checking out Renee Taylor's rack one sad Friday night.

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*The Reviewer's Bias section is an attempt to help readers use the review to its best effect. By knowing where the reviewer's biases lie on the film's subject matter, one can read the review with the right mindset.