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The Movie:
When I was
younger, I remember spending just about every weekend at my best
friend's house playing video games, shooting hoops, and fielding
ground balls at the little league field. After a hard day doing
whatever teenage boys do, I'd usually end up spending the night
and feasting on his mother's homemade pancakes the next morning.
Aside from those video games and sports we loved so much, our
favorite pastime was hanging out in the basement (where we'd
eventually pull out of sleeping bags for the night) and studying
the infamous "Cable Guide." This holiest of holy books
was our way of scoping out what movies would be on late-night
HBO, Showtime, or "Skinemax" (Cinemax). We knew all the
codes: V = Violence, L = Adult Language, BN = Brief Nudity, and
the real jackpot of all codes, if you could find it, was N =
Nudity.
Needless to say, we watched our fair share of scantily clad
ladies pillow fighting or swimming naked or just generally
running around naked. And if worse came to worse (and there was
nothing good - good meaning either containing BN or N - on
cable), we'd go to that old trusted USA Network's Up All
Night. We needed our fix, and we got it any way possible.
So, at this
point, you might be wondering what all this has to do with Lost
Lake. Well, let's just say for brevity's sake, that I've
seen a lot of these types of movies and none of them
were nearly as bad as Lost Lake. Shot on digital video
by Anthony Leigh Adams, the film tells the story of young Kat
Walker, who decides to take a job at Tamarack Lodge - a remote
ski lodge up in the High Sierras. She has trouble getting along
with the others at the lodge, watches the others have trouble
getting along with each other, and finally starts forming some
bonds up there in the mountains. After an avalanche hits the
lodge, trapping Kat and the rest of the crew, some very strange
things begin to happen.
Now, I consider
myself a pretty astute filmgoer. I've watched my share of
difficult movies. Salo: no problem. Last Year at
Marienbad: piece of cake. 8 ½: child's play. But
I'll be damned if I could figure out what the hell was going on
through most of Lost Lake. The film is so completely
muddled in its own independent cleverness that it makes
absolutely no sense whatsoever. This is my basic take of what
happened in Lost Lake: Hot girl takes job at ski lodge
where only a few other people are staying. Two competitive
brothers don't really get along. One very creepy guy howls at the
moon and plays guitar. A chauvinist professor takes his student
up to the lodge to get into her pants for all of 15 seconds. Hot
girl makes friendly with said student in a hot tub, baring her
naked body for what is probably the film's "money
shot." Hot girl gets friendly with one of the brothers.
Avalanche hits the lodge. Seems pretty simple, right? That's your
usual late-night cable formula. Get hot girl somewhere and have
her get naked. Easy enough. Well, Lost Lake takes some
twists and turns into some of the most absurdly serious
pontification that I've ever seen in a movie. If anyone has any
idea what the hell happened in the rest of the movie (other than,
of course, what I just described), I urge you to email me and let
me know. If so, you're obviously a much smarter filmgoer than I.
If the utter confusion of a plot that makes absolutely no sense
isn't quite enough for you, then Lost Lake has a few
more goodies that will make you cringe. It could, quite possibly,
get the award for worst script ever written. Some of the dialogue
in this film is so laughably bad that I'm almost surprised
Christina Adams and Anthony Leigh Adams didn't throw their own
script in the trash. How bad is it? Let's just say there's one
scene where a character urinates on another character to free
them a rock they're stuck to. What does she say to the wild man
who just peed on her? She says, "You're the first, and I
hope only, guy that I'm glad that you pissed me off." I kid
you not. That kind of dialogue is just too bad for me to make up.
So now that
I've established that Lost Lake is an incredibly
horrendous example of cinema, I know exactly what you want to
know. Is it Skinemax worthy? Hardly. To be subjected to this
drivel for nearly ninety minutes just to see one little bit of
nudity isn't even worth it. Are there any redeeming features at
all? Let's see: Angel Boris is cute (and partakes in the
aforementioned nudity) and there's some cool skiing/snowboarding
footage. That's about it. Let's just say that I'm glad my buddy
and I didn't get duped into watching Lost Lake during
one of those "Cable Guide Weekends." That little, tiny
"N" in the listing would have completely ruined the
night.
The DVD
Video:
Lost Lake
is presented in a letterboxed 1.85:1 format that, aside from the
fact that it's non-anamorphic, does an adequate job of
reproducing the digital video quality of the production. Colors
looks bright and vivid on this transfer with the crisp whites of
the ski slopes and warm, accurate fleshtones. The overall image
is a bit soft, so detail is lacking at times. Darker scenes
reveal some slight edge enhancement and shimmering with a little
video flicker thrown in as well. Shadows and lighting are well
delineated, but black levels could be a bit deeper. This is,
generally, an adequate transfer of a digital video film. It looks
better than it probably should with the biggest downfall being
the lack on an anamorphic transfer.
Sound:
The audio on this disc is presented in a Dolby 2.0 stereo format
that won't exactly impress anyone, but does manage to get the job
done. Dialogue is always crisp, clear, and distinct (even though
there were times when I had no idea what the hell these
characters were talking about). The cheesy soundtrack is pretty
well balanced and never overwhelms the rest of the audio
presentation. There is, however, some slight level fluctuation
and a bit of hiss at times. I guess this is to be expected from a
low-budget digital feature like Lost Lake. Nevertheless,
this audio presentation doesn't have any major problems, but it
doesn't exactly shine either.
Extras:
For a film as bad as Lost Lake, Warner Bros. (for some
reason) has seen fit to provide quite a few extra features.
Unfortunately, none of these extras do anything to make you
appreciate the film more.
The first extra feature is an audio commentary with
Writer/Director Anthony Leigh Adams and Writer/Producer Christina
Adams. The best way for me to describe this track is to
remind you of the Saturday Night Live skit about the two
radio women (played by Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon) who speak
in slow, calm monotone voices throughout the entire show. Anthony
and Christina sound exactly like that skit. In addition
to the two sleepy voices, this track is pretty much the worst
kind of commentary: one where the director and writer think
they've made a great film when they've actually made a horrible
one. The pair talk about Lost Lake as if it's the
greatest film ever made, and the entire track makes you feel like
you're in on some big, embarrassing joke. They are, however, very
chatty throughout, provide some neat anecdotes from the set, and
tell quite a bit about how the film was made. Unfortunately, the
film is just so bad that about five minutes into the track, I
just didn't care how they made it.
Also included on this disc is a 16-minute featurette called "Experiencing
Lost Lake"
that is your basic behind-the-scenes feature, complete with the
same cheesy digital effects as Adams employed in the film itself.
In addition to some clips from the film, we also get to see some
behind-the-scenes footage interspersed with interviews with most
of the cast and crew. Anthony and Christina continue to put forth
the idea that this film is a real triumph and, the funny thing
is, they seem to have brainwashed their cast into thinking the
same thing. It's hilarious to watch these actors try to find some
real substance in this film. Amazing. Nevertheless, as far as
featurettes go, this is a pretty good one. It's not your typical
EPK-style fluff, but it still doesn't do anything to make you
enjoy the film more.
There is also an alternate ending with optional
commentary included on this disc. Anthony and Christina
basic explain the difference between the two endings and why one
was chosen over the other for the final version of the film. It's
amazing to me just how seriously they take this film.
Finally, we have a trailer for Lost Lake,
and a few text web links.
Final Thoughts:
If you're still
reading this review, you must either love really bad movies or
you must really have a thing for Angel Boris. If you fit into
either of those categories, then Lost Lake is probably
right up your alley. It's horribly written, full of wooden
characters (and actors), completely indecipherable, and pretty
much a total waste of time. I don't know what else to say to keep
you from watching this movie. Chances are, everything I've just
said will probably make you want to see Lost Lake even
more. I know how you really-bad-movie-lovers are. I'm one of you,
but even I couldn't subject myself to repeat viewing of this
mess. I'm still trying to figure out what exactly happened
because the extra features certainly weren't any help. Except for
an audio-visual presentation that a film this bad doesn't even
deserve, there's nothing on this disc that could make me
recommend it in any way. Check it out if you really feel the
urge, but please don't ever say I didn't warn you. |
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