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Reviews » DVD Video Reviews » Jacqueline Hyde
Jacqueline Hyde
Lightyear Entertainment // Unrated // October 18, 2005
List Price: $19.98 [Buy now and save at Amazon]
Review by Scott Weinberg | posted September 25, 2005 | E-mail the Author
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The Movie

Yes, the title is far and away the cleverest thing about Jacqueline Hyde. But let's be fair; we're not exactly watching Jacqueline Hyde expecting much in the clever department. But those expecting an entertaining spin on the classic old Stevenson tale, or some seriously hardcore horror happenings, will most likely walk away disappointed by this low-budget grime-fest.

Writer/director Rolfe Kanefsky, creator of C-grade schlock both entirely worthless and surprisingly fun, returns to the well once more with Jacqueline Hyde ... and the results aren't all that hot. Instead of the entirely familiar tale of alter (super) egoism being twisted into something new or unique, Mr. Kanefsky opts to use the story ... as a springboard for soft-core porn material.

Jackie Hyde (Gabriella Hall) is a sad-sack telemarketer who has just inherited a massive old estate. Of course there's a hidden lab that houses several beakers full of glowing red goo. And when Jackie downs said goo, she transforms into a sex-hungry power-woman who's just as likely to seduce you as she is to suck out your life-force through any open orifice. (Use your imagination.) And Jacqueline Hyde might hold the non-porno record for sequences in which women drop to the floor and have unprovoked solo orgasms. It's as funny as it is sexy! (Just keep the remote handy, 'cuz these gals are moaners.)

The flick trudges shiftily from its fractured narrative to several strip-club sequences to a bunch of Skinemax-level grope sessions. A few bones are tossed to the gorehounds in Act III, but it's too little way too late. There are a few obvious attempts at clever subtext (feminine sexual power is dangerous!), but it's all buried beneath the laughable kill scenes and the candle-lit humpfests.

The DVD

Video: It's a widescreen transfer, and the flick looks pretty good for such a low-budget affair, but the darker scenes (of which there are many) are plagued by swarms of grain.

Audio: Dolby Digital 2.0 or 5.1, which means crystal-clear screaming orgasms across the board (of which there are many).

Extras: You'll get a feature-length audio commentary with director Rolfe Kanefsky and actresses Gabriella Hall & Blythe Metl, which you'll have to let me know if it's any good, a 22-minute behind-the-scenes featurette called Nothing to Hyde (hyuk) that's full of audition tapes and on-set whatnot, a handful of deleted scenes, the trailer, several production stills, and the never-interesting cast & filmmaker biographies.

Final Thoughts

I seriously doubt there's any fresh blood to be wrung out of the Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde conceit, even IF you're willing to fill your rendition with tons of naked women and their freakishly frequent orgasms. Points for trying, but there's very little about Jacqueline Hyde that's not familiar, tiresome, or just plain old silly.

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