Reviews & Columns |
Reviews DVD TV on DVD Blu-ray 4K UHD International DVDs In Theaters Reviews by Studio Video Games Features Collector Series DVDs Easter Egg Database Interviews DVD Talk Radio Feature Articles Columns Anime Talk DVD Savant Horror DVDs The M.O.D. Squad Art House HD Talk Silent DVD
|
DVD Talk Forum |
|
Resources |
DVD Price Search Customer Service #'s RCE Info Links |
Columns
|
|
7 Mummies
What the hell did I just watch? I mean, I see a lot of outrageously silly horror flicks, but there's a special kind of insanity that runs throughout 7 Mummies -- and I don't mean the good kind.
We open with two greedy gravediggers who get sliced up by an unseen presence before delving into the 5-minute credits sequence. Then we witness a tipped-over van, out of which fall a collection of slimy convicts and one extra-jiggly female guard. The group promptly decides to wander off into a surprisingly verdant desert wasteland, whereupon they come across a mumbling Danny Trejo. Vulgarities are exchanged, and then the convict crew (and busty broad) wanders off into the desert again, only to arrive at an authentic-style Old West town, complete with booze, whores, and (you guessed it) a bunch of lame-looking zombies who pop out once the sun goes down.
And then it's just a bunch of aimless meandering and tons of insipid dialogue before the flick winds down with an amusingly inept finale. A movie that wanted to be a From Dusk Till Dawn-style genre stew is, instead, a painfully inert, agressively silly, and absolutely dreary concoction. It's a dumb story populated by obnoxious characters who do moronic things. Often.
First-time director Nick Quested makes all sorts of embarrassing mistakes: He allows his annoyingly incongruous rock & rap tunes to simply blare over the dialogue, the lighting on the flick is consistently insufficient, and there's way too many redundant (not to mention pointless) fade-ins, fade-overs, and stutter-step editing gimmicks. And don't even get me started on the horrific screenplay.
B-movie fanatics will no doubt see a cast list that includes Cerina Vincent, Danny Trejo, Martin Kove, and Billy Drago, and get a few charitable thoughts in their head. Ignore those feelings and simply rent something else. Trust me.
The DVD
Video: The anamorphic widescreen (1.78:1) transfer is, frankly, probably a lot slicker than the movie deserves. Had the flick been shot with a few extra lighting rigs, the transfer might actually mean something.
Audio: Dolby Digital 5.1, which (oddly enough) seems to drop a level or two when the (too few) action sequences arrive. Weird.
Extras: Just the 7 Mummies trailer and a 29-minute featurette entitled The Making of 7 Mummies: On Location, which is actually a fairly nifty look at low-budget on-location production, and is definitely more entertaining than the movie itself.
Final Thoughts
Minus the opening & closing credits, 7 Mummies runs about 70 minutes, 64 of which are almost unbearably terrible. (Some of the exterior shots are pretty impressive, so there's the extra six minutes.)
Oh, and I only counted 3 mummies, max.
|
Popular Reviews |
Sponsored Links |
|
Sponsored Links |
|
Release List | Reviews | Shop | Newsletter | Forum | DVD Giveaways | Blu-Ray | Advertise |
Copyright 2024 DVDTalk.com All Rights Reserved. Legal Info, Privacy Policy, Terms of Use,
Manage Preferences,
Your Privacy Choices
|