Reviews & Columns |
Reviews DVD TV on DVD Blu-ray 4K UHD International DVDs In Theaters Reviews by Studio Video Games Features Collector Series DVDs Easter Egg Database Interviews DVD Talk Radio Feature Articles Columns Anime Talk DVD Savant Horror DVDs The M.O.D. Squad Art House HD Talk Silent DVD
|
DVD Talk Forum |
|
Resources |
DVD Price Search Customer Service #'s RCE Info Links |
Columns
|
|
I, Vampire: Trilogy of Blood
I knew there was something familiar about this ridiculous little I, Vampire DVD. Although I was certain I'd never seen the anthology before, the first story felt like... wait, it's just a bunch of scenes from one of the Subspecies movies! What gives?? So I did a little research, and thanks to the fine insights offered at the illustrious DVDVerdict.com, I was able to figure out what the hell was going on with I, Vampire: Trilogy of Blood: It's nothing more than a sloppy collection of clips from Subspecies 4: Bloodstorm, Vampire Resurrection and The Vampire Journals. So if you're a ravenous schlock-hound who somehow happens to own all those movies, only to purchase a copy of I, Vampire: Trilogy of Blood, well, I bet you'd be pretty pissed about it.
For what it's worth (which ain't much, considering we're talking about 30-minute versions of movies that sucked when they were feature-length), here's what the mini-movies consist of:
Spawn of Hell is about an evil vampire who feasts on necks while dangling the promise of "the bloodstone" in front of a very devious priest. Or maybe he was a doctor.
From the Grave is about a not-so-evil vampire who rediscovers a long lost love and must contend with her violent ex-husband and her snooping ol' auntie. Imagine a really bad Lifetime movie mixed with a really bad vampire movie.
Undead Evil is about a piano-loving vampire who woos and seduces a (very) sexy young musician as a whiny hero muddles through the background. This story is particularly choppy, and the story wouldn't be interesting even if told in flawless fashion.
So what else can I add? I, Vampire is a collection of semi-random scenes culled from three fairly rotten vampire movies. The project doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, frankly, because I can't see the I, Vampire DVDs flying off the shelves anytime soon. But I guess it's easier to recycle and re-package the schlock than it is to produce fresh piles of it.
Either way, don't get burned. Even if you happen to like the three movies that were cannibalized here, I doubt pretty highly that you'd enjoy these miniature versions.
The DVD
Video: A fairly colorful fullscreen transfer. Nothing that could salvage this mess though.
Audio: Tinny and uninspired 2.0 all the way.
Extras: Trailers for a few more recycled trilogies. Yuck.
Final Thoughts
Even if I hadn't learned the truth about this anthology, the thing's a huge screaming bore all the way. There's some half-decent gore delivered in a few small doses, but there's nothing here that could be mistaken for "good storytelling." Not even close.
|
Popular Reviews |
Sponsored Links |
|
Sponsored Links |
|
Release List | Reviews | Shop | Newsletter | Forum | DVD Giveaways | Blu-Ray | Advertise |
Copyright 2024 DVDTalk.com All Rights Reserved. Legal Info, Privacy Policy, Terms of Use,
Manage Preferences,
Your Privacy Choices
|