I "get" that the makers of Decoys 2: The Second Seduction are going for extra pulpy, extra silly, and extra tongue-in-cheek with their story of alien invasion / hottie-fest, and I do appreciate that sort of tone. It's helped many a B-flick to become more than just another stalk & splat-a-thon. But even with the jovially goofy attitude, the simple truth is that Decoys 2 is just plain bad. Not as bad as its predecessor (thank god), but still pretty darn mindless, empty and (most of all) forgettable.

Borrowing (ok, stealing) much of its premise from Species (and its generally lame-o sequels), Decoys 2 is about an alien invasion on a college campus -- only these aliens are disguised as (get this!) really hot and horny coed babes! So when all the sex-crazed jocks and nerds think they're about to get laid, what they're really getting is devoured and dismembered and slaughtered! Imagine how much more fun the flick would be if A) we hadn't already seen it before (in much funnier flicks), and B) it wasn't presented in such aggressively amateurish fashion!

Directed by the man who brought you Insecticidal and Alien Incursion, penned by Miguel Tejada-Flores, the scribe behind Rottweiler and Beyond Re-Animator (although, oddly, he also has credits on Revenge of the Nerds and The Lion King), Decoys 2 hopes to gloss over its basic deficiencies by employing a wacky 50s-era vibe. The result is a movie that wants to be a cross between Night of the Creeps and Species, but ends up as a mixture of Decoys Part 1 and something only slightly better than Decoys Part 1.

The cast is a mixed bag of pretty faces and broadly-drawn nerdlingers. Genre regular Kim Poirier provides some much-needed personality, but she's flanked by a bunch of generic boobs. (I had trouble keeping track of all the characters; they all blurred together into a vague blob.) Only the combined presence of Saw regulars Tobin Bell and Dina Meyer promise any sort of payoff for the genre fans, but not a whole lot of payoff, trust me.

From its basic gags, vacant performances and blatantly sketchy special effects, Decoys 2 has "well, at least you'll watch it on cable" written all over it. And you just might watch it on cable one night, at least for about 12 minutes before its gets extra stupid and you start yearning for something a little less moronic. Something like Species 3, for example.

The DVD

Audio/Video: The anamorphic widescreen (1.78:1) transfer is quite a bit more impressive than a movie like this actually needs. Grunge it up a little bit and the movie might work a little better. Audio is delivered in Dolby Digital 5.1 (English, Japanese, Portuguese) or DD 2.0 French. Optional subtitles are available in English, French, Japanese, Portuguese, Spanish, Korean, and Chinese.

Extras: Nada.

Final Thoughts

Oh, and yes: Bare breasts make the scene. Just so you know that the one sterling selling point is present and accounted for.