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TREMORS 2: AFTERSHOCKS (1996, 100 minutes): Earl was supposed to be stinkin' rich after discovering a new species and all, but he's managed to fritter away the most lucrative ventures in favor of a lame scheme to raise ostriches. Meanwhile, Mexican oilmen are getting sucked underground by a whole new crop of Graboids, so it's not long before Earl gets a GENEROUS offer to come on down and solve their problem. The original's winning formula demands a sidekick and Christopher Gartin fills the bill. Immediately, the two start blasting worm guts all over to the point they decide the really could use some help, and invite gun enthusiast Burt Gummer down to join the fun. The three men begin a friendly competition seeing who can chalk up the most kills in this subterranean buffalo hunt when something odd happens. Earl and Grady wander upon a Graboid above the ground behaving like a beached whale. They watch, they wait, and when they finally muster the courage to attempt to capture the beast, they find that SOMETHING has burst out of its gut. That's when things get real interesting, and it's also when Burt gets to showcase his impressive arsenal. As the object of Earl's lust is Helen Shaver who plays a scientist, or something. Helen has starred in all sorts of B-pictures including the generally overrated Amittyville Horror.
Notables: No breasts. Three corpses. Graboid arcade game. Puking. Multiple high-intensity explosions. Wild driving. Fire extinguisher hosedown. MRE munching. High-tech seismograph footage. Three games of Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Quotables: Burt explains Reba's absence, "She's still visiting her sister. You know, she actually blames our problems on the collapse of the Soviet Union?! She said I was too hard to live with. Said I couldn't handle life without the threat of global war! What kind of thing is THAT to say to a man?!" And his weaponry is no less impressive, "Man, Burt, you put a whole new shine on the word overkill."
Time codes: First feast of dirt demons (3:33). Our love interests ogle each other's hind quarters (16:55). Earl has a plan (22:45). The ultimate hunter's trophy (33:15). Critters learn to roar (44:27). The worms have turned (58:00). Disgusting delivery of a slimy newborn (1:11:11).
G. Noel Gross is a Dallas graphic designer and avowed Drive-In Mutant who specializes in scribbling B-movie reviews. Noel is inspired by Joe Bob Briggs and his gospel of blood, breasts and beasts.