"Ice Spiders." The title alone screams eye-gougingly bad Sci-Fi Channel movie, which is exactly what it is.
The story: A Government project taking place in a secluded science lab goes awry when the test subjects (big-ass spiders) escape and begin to murder and chomp on nearby citizens and tourists at the Lost Mountain ski resort. In order to survive, The people must band together to fight the ICE SPIDERS.
If "Ice Spiders" was done on a bigger budget and were honed by a more capable director, the film could have wound up to be an enjoyable B-movie romp such as "Snakes On A Plane." Instead, we get a film littered with a slapped together story (no doubt centered around the title), laughable dialogue like "Run! They're Killing Everyone!" and "Be careful, sometimes Nature Strikes back," ski bums with surfer/Spicoli accents, and cartoony multi-colored CGI spiders who are shockingly not frightening. To be honest, I think "Ice Spiders" would have worked better as a goofy toy line in the late 80's/early 90's alongside Food Fighters and Dino Riders.
While watching "Ice Spiders" the main thought that went through my mind was "What were the Sci-Fi Channel executives thinking?" In what world (besides Troma) is "Ice Spiders" an idea that warrants a green light? Granted, these late night Saturday monster movies do OK in the ratings due to viewings at drunken parties or by people looking for a cheap laugh, but the channel should be more concerned with programming real Sci-Fi movies and or resurrecting shows that would make the channel bank (AHEM "Quantum Leap" AHEM). Even more baffling than that is the fact that SONY is releasing "Ice Spiders" on DVD. Is this meant to be some sort of "Spider-Man" tie-in?
The only pleasure I derived from this film was daydreaming about creating trailers for the movie. For instance, one trailer could begin with a voice over: "Moviegoers were afraid to go into the water (cue a shot of a shark). Then they were afraid to fly (cue shot of a snake). Now, they will be afraid to ski! This summer, stay off the slopes unless you want to face "ICE SPIDERS." The possibilities are endless.
The 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen picture is surprisingly crisp. The powdered snow appears as if it's making its way into your living room and the forest/ski resort locations are beautifully photographed. Only the spiders look pathetic, which is entirely the visual f/x team's fault.
The English 5.1 Dolby Digital track suffers from overly loud sound f/x and terribly dubbed human screams. Other than those two complaints, the dialogue and music score/songs are noticeably clear to hear.
Not much in the extras department aside from previews of: "Rise: Blood Hunter," "Wind Chill," "Spider-Man 3," "Hostel 2," "Closure," "The Company," "Kaw," "Pumpkinhead 4: Blood Feud," "Resident Evil/Resident Evil: Apocalypse" and promos for upcoming Blu-Ray disks and Fearnet.com. English and Spanish subtitles are also present on this disk.
If you love Sci-Fi channel movies then by all means check out "Ice Spiders." Otherwise, don't bother.
Film and television enthusiast Nick Lyons recently had his first book published titled "Attack of the Sci-Fi Trivia." It is available on Amazon.com.