We really are talking about the old days, when porn had a plot instead of being entirely fetish-based. Impertinent Eva is destined for some sort of school-for-wayward-women, when her prude sister gets fed up with all the 'private fun' Eva has alone in bed. Meantime, a wealthy young heir endeavors to protect his inheritance by opening up a fake school for 'moral and aesthetic instruction,' a move that lands a handful of randy men and women on his grounds, all of whom decide they are there only to get it on. But with Eva now in the mix, her suspicious sister decides something fishy is up, sending a private investigator to sort things out.

That's actually enough plot to fuel a legitimate movie, but that's not what was on anybody's mind, as what follows is pretty much a full 90 minutes of exuberant hardcore intercourse with a bunch of semi-attractive ladies and '70s studs with shaggy sideburns. The only thing hands-free viewers might miss are the 'money shots,' everything else is shown, and then some. Considering the content (and intent) you wouldn't think a good plot would be necessary, or that innocent humor would be appropriate, but those things are a nice accessory to whatever you might get up to.

Really, it's just nice to see a healthy attitude towards sex (albeit frequent group-sex) and a lighthearted attitude in pornography. Performances are firmly tongue-in-cheek, befitting the material, production values are high, and the sense of fun is off the charts. Possibly the goofiest aspect is Eva's orgasmic evidence - a reverb-laden, ear-shattering scream that makes everyone cover their ears in pain. Most instances of sexual congress are also on the goofy side, there's not a lot of emphasis on romance, mostly just sex as recreational activity with whoever is around. It's refreshing, if not totally dated as far as our world of HIV and STDs goes.

With a joyous climax (no pun intended) and a sweet musical denouement, The Second Coming of Eva even winds itself up like a normal movie, which is a real nice touch for those looking for some content and resolution with their T&A. Eva is no masterpiece of cinema, but if you can get past the looks of the swarthy '70s dudes, and at least one of the stoned-out, blue eye-shadow-wearing ladies, you'll find an arousing, amusing picture that takes into account the fact that you have a brain guiding your genitalia. Couples looking for a retro-sexy trip should have a pretty good time with Eva.

The DVD

Video:
What you get is an uncut (both the film and most of the men) Anamorphic (1.66:1) Widescreen transfer that looks decent but is no great shakes. The image is somewhat soft, with evident film-grain and a tiny bit of damage here and there - to be expected with a cheapie film of this age. Colors are decently naturalistic (obviously there's lots of skin on display) and fairly rich. There aren't a lot of dark scenes with which to judge black levels. It's not a high definition transfer, and overall is merely adequate.

Sound:
We're probably listening to a stereo audio track. Certainly enough attention was paid to the frequently-acid-rock-tinged porno music to indicate the filmmakers would be into having a nice stereo mix. At any rate, the music is nice and prominent during the sex scenes, and dialog is clear and easy to hear, even though most audiences will be reading or ignoring the subtitles as they see fit.

Extras:
Nothing at all going on in the extras department, sorry! Newly Translated Removable English Subtitles are about all you get, other than Chapter Selections. Considering the attention that's being lauded on stateside grindhouse porno releases of the 1970s, you'd think there would be some fun stuff to dig up regarding this movie, if not a few extra trailers to look at.

Final Thoughts:
The Second Coming of Eva is fun old-fashioned pornography that's safe for sensitive couples, as it eschews the ultra-graphic, rote and phallocentric pornography of modern times for things like humor and plot. It's not a great movie by any means, but for some fun cuddle time with your sweetie, there's a lot worse out there. Doctor Love recommends you Rent It.

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