Have you ever loved a movie as a child, then upon re-watching the film as an adult you realize it's terrible? You almost wish you hadn't re-watched the movie so that it would retain its luster of childlike innocence.

One of my earliest memories of cable TV is catching a showing of Hal Needham's The Villain on OnTV when I was 11 years old. I thought the movie was hilarious. I paged through our cable guide and marked all the recurrences so I could watch it over and over again. I must have watched that thing 20 times, each time on the floor, out of breath from laughing so hard.

Flash forward 23 years: The Villain is terrible. It is always infantile, usually humorless, and sometimes absolutely dreadful. Directed by Hal Needham (Smokey and the Bandit, Cannonball Run, Megaforce), The Villain is an attempt to cross-pollinate a live-action western with a Roadrunner cartoon. It stars Kirk Douglas as Cactus Jack, a hopelessly inept evil dude who's on a dastardly mission—much like Wile E. Coyote—to capture the traveling Charming Jones (Ann-Margret) and her virtuous protector Handsome Stranger (Arnold Schwarzenegger). A side story follows Paul Lynde as Nervous Elk, hamming it up as an Indian Chief.

Needham is a stuntman and stunt coordinator at heart, and in this film he's chosen to choreograph the stunts as if they were straight out of a Looney Toons cartoon. Unfortunately, they're not funny. They're merely embarrassing (which—admittedly—can provide some humor for those who have a cynical streak). Poor Douglas works very hard at this wince-worthy enterprise, and you can't help but feel sorry for the guy. Schwarzenegger looks young, layered with baby fat, and you'll be amazed when you consider they way his career took off after this debacle.

Despite all the film's efforts to tickle your funny bone, you'll just sit there with your mouth hanging slightly open, a glazed expression plastered across your face. The Villain wants to be a hilarious slapstick poke at the western genre, but only preteens will find it of any value.

Columbia/TriStar presents The Villain in a pan-and-scan mauling of the film's original widescreen aspect ratio. Having said that, Needham seems to have framed the action so that a bastardization of the original aspect ratio wouldn't take too much of a toll on the film. Detail is surprisingly strong in this cropped presentation, and colors appear to be accurate.

The disc's mono soundtrack is a predictably mediocre presentation. However, voices sound quite natural. The track suffers only at the ends of the high-low spectrum. Explosions lack bass kick, and train whistles tend toward thinness.

Nothin'

Unless you're about 11 years old—in which case, you'll love The Villain—I'd give this one a pass.