In the best sexy spoof since Play-Mate of the Apes, a certain Hedgehog-like porn legend's loins are commandeered for late-night cable yuks in Being Ron Jeremy. Upstart scream siren Paris Hilton thinks her House of Wax retread is HOT even if she can't remember why. Jessica Alba gives special meaning to the term action figure, but she's got "Flippin' sweet!" competition on the way. Plus, readers huzzah Jon Favreau's recent B-luminary slathered Dinner For Five and, as always, the ever-vigilant CineSchlock-O-Rama's Most Wanted.