| Reviews & Columns |
|
Reviews DVD TV on DVD Blu-ray 4K UHD International DVDs In Theaters Reviews by Studio Video Games Features Collector Series DVDs Easter Egg Database Interviews DVD Talk Radio Feature Articles Columns Anime Talk DVD Savant Horror DVDs The M.O.D. Squad Art House HD Talk Silent DVD
|
 DVD Talk Forum |
|
|
| Resources |
|
DVD Price Search Customer Service #'s RCE Info Links |
|
Columns
  
 
|
|
|
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (HD DVD)
Paramount // PG-13 // July 25, 2006 // Region 0
List Price: $29.99 [Buy now and save at Amazon]
Lara Croft isn't popular 'cause she's a plucky adventurer who trots across the globe, blasting dinosaurs and leopards with a pistol in each hand in pursuit of ancient relics. No, Eidos was able to push twenty someodd million Tomb Raider games out the door thanks to a pair of enormous polygon titties...the wet dream of lonely teenagers and chiropractors the world over...and I guess the prospect of an hour and forty minutes of Angelina Jolie in a padded bra and hot pants was enough for Paramount to greenlight a big-budget action flick.
The movie opens with Lady Lara Croft in a dusty, ancient tomb and...y'know, trying to raid it, but before she can reach out for the grand prize, she's pitted against an enormous robot fat-packed with machine guns and power saws. When the battle's not going her way, she commands S.I.M.O.N. to stop, slaps a memory stick labeled "Lara's Party Mix" into the 'bot's onboard laptop, and scolds her on-staff
robot designer for using live ammo. :audible gasp!: Turns out we were in Lara's mansion all along, and it was all training 'cause when you're a tomb raider, you have to be prepared to....I don't know. Tuckered out from a day of robot fighting and a gratuitous PG-13 shower scene, Lara awakens from her slumber to a loud ticking sound: a long-hidden clock that's counting down to a planetary alignment that only happens once every five thousand years. This clock is the key to unearthing some time-manipulating mystical triangle that an ancient civilization split in two and hid on opposite ends of the globe, and it's up to Lara to track down the triangle and destroy it (gee, why didn't said ancient civilization just do that in the first place?) or the world'll be thrown into chaos or something. An agent of the Illuminati is seeking out the triangle too 'cause every dumb action movie needs a bad guy, and Lara and girly, unimposing Manfred Powell strike an unholy alliance since they need each other to restore the triangle, and there's a thing about finding out what happened to Lara's long-lost archaeologist father, and...whatever.
Look, you know it's a glossy, shallow video game action flick, I know it's a glossy, shallow video game action flick, and even Tomb Raider got the memo. It's not ashamed to be a cross between Raiders of the Lost Ark and Busty Cops 2, mixing predictable, ridiculous action scenes (like Lara listening to classical music while leaping around her living room on a bungee cord, neatly coinciding with a group of heavily armed soldiers storming her palatial mansion) with cringingly bad attempts at humor and a horrific amount of filler. I guess $80 million didn't buy as many CG-monsters and explosive squibs in 2001 as it does now 'cause the downtime between the few big action sequences can be awfully tough to take. The movie's dripping with awkward, heavy-handed exposition -- try keeping a running tally of everytime a character mentions that this planetary alignment only occurs once every five thousand years -- even resorting to one of the ten worst movie
cliches ever: the character discovering a letter from Pops that opens "if you're reading this, then I am dead..." The action sequences are expensive and over-the-top but don't have any thrill or excitement behind 'em, kinda like sitting on the couch and listlessly watching someone else hammer away at a video game, and nearly every scene seems like it was ripped wholesale out of the screenplay from another, better movie.
Foxfire. Cyborg 2. Original Sin. Gia. Hackers. Pushing Tin. Taking Lives. Hell's Kitchen. Mojave Moon. Not that I'm endorsing those or anything, but if all you want is to ogle Angelina Jolie's boobs, at least they're less of a tease. Tomb Raider is as bland and hollow as an off-brand chocolate Easter Bunny, and its leading lady's form-fitting wardrobe is really all it has going for it.
Video: Paramount's original Tomb Raider DVD came out in 2001, and I wouldn't be surprised to hear that the master for this 2.40:1 high definition presentation was minted five years ago as part of the production of that disc. This is unquestionably a high definition image, but it just seems kind of flat and two dimensional, not leaping off the screen like many of the other HD DVDs I've watched. Posts on some of the message boards I read claim that wider shots were fairly soft and grainy theatrically too, so the movie's mildly underwhelming appearance at least in part may just be a factor of the original photography. I have no idea. Even though it's not one of the more impressive HD DVDs I've seen, there's still a very noticeable boost in resolution, and it doesn't always work to Tomb Raider's favor. The make-up halfway covering Jolie's tattoos is very noticeable in the climax, and the dated CGI work looks especially unconvincing in high-def. On the upside, the palette is vividly saturated, and some tight shots look spectacular (and...hey! I'm talking about the camerawork, not Jolie's wardrobe). The high definition video isn't disappointing, exactly, but it's not one of the better looking HD DVDs out there.
Audio: Okay, I write this knowing full well that no one is going to agree with me, but I'll keep clacking away at my keyboard anyway. I can't say that I was particularly impressed with the Dolby Digital Plus 5.1 audio either. The mix admittedly keeps each speaker whirring
throughout, but the sound pumping out of each channel isn't all that great. I've been spoiled by HD DVDs where I can hear twelve different sounds coming from one speaker, and I can clearly and easily discern each and every one of them. Tomb Raider sounds somewhat more muddled, lacking that sort of distinctness and clarity. Even with all of the bass scattered throughout the movie, there isn't as much heft to those lower frequencies as I was expecting, and it often doesn't seem like a swift sonic kick or a thunderous rumble so much as an extended belch. Okay, but not what I'd consider great.
Tomb Raider also includes the usual assortment of dubs and subtitles, along with a DTS mix. Neither the packaging nor the menus give any indication that this is a lossless DTS-HD track, and there really isn't any hardware out yet that I could use to confirm it one way or the other, so I'll just assume it's your standard issue, garden variety DTS audio.
Supplements: Although the studios have been reluctant to offer any extras in high definition to date, Paramount has included a teaser and a theatrical trailer for Tomb Raider in HD. It may not sound like much, but hey, it's a start. The other extras are all in standard definition, ported over from the 2001 DVD special edition.
The audio commentary with Simon West is pleasant enough, if somewhat subdued. He tends to respond more to what's on-screen than delve into prolonged stories, and although he does provide a good bit of detail on virtually every conceivable subject (the differences between early cuts of the movie are a frequent and especially interesting topic), there can be some fairly lengthy pauses between his comments. The fact that he occasionally appears to be reading aloud rather than spontaneously chatting also makes the commentary sound a bit stilted at times. West speaks frequently enough about the different shooting locations and offers so many little flourishes that he gives a strong sense of what it must've been like to hang around the Tomb Raider sets, and some of those smaller details are what really make this commentary worth a listen -- shooting around Jolie's ink, toy makers misinterpreting a couple of bumps on an on-set robot, explaining why Lara guns it out against robots and stone monkeys as opposed to flesh-'n-blood people, scheduling around flowering water lilies, and some of the tricks used to overcome time and budgetary restrictions. West also explains some of his motivations for certain story elements, making it all seem a little less arbitrary. A decent listen.
The longest of the
featurettes is the 25 minute "Digging into Tomb Raider", following the familiar making-of template with a wide assortment of cast and crew (and even some of the folks behind the games) noting how wonderful everyone and everything was. Lightweight and overly promotional. "Visual Effects of Tomb Raider" is a collection of eight short but sufficiently detailed featurettes on the movie's then-cutting edge computer wizardry that can be viewed individually or played in a consecutive twenty minute block. Other featurettes include "Are You Game?", an eight minute runthrough of how the character came about by the guys at Eidos and CORE, "Crafting Lara Croft", a seven minute look at the rigorous training Jolie undertook, and the self-explanatory "The Stunts of Tomb Raider", which, at ten minutes, is the longest and most substantial of the three.
There are also four deleted scenes, running around seven minutes in total. Three of them are completely new scenes, and the fourth is an extended bit of exposition between Lara and Powell. This footage is presented in anamorphic widescreen, but it's rough enough to look like I'm watching American Ninja 4 on basic cable. An alternate title sequence has more of a Playstation-ish feel, and although it's not listed on its own as a deleted scene, the visual effects featurette on the timestorm has some additional footage that didn't make it into the final cut.
Finally, U2 is spliced into footage from the movie for the band's "Elevation" music video.
Conclusion: Tomb Raider raked in right at a quarter of a billion dollars at the box office internationally, so the movie apparently has its fans. I can't say that I'm one of 'em, though; it's a completely forgettable action flick, and there's nothing about the movie or its release on HD DVD that demands shelling out $25 to see. Might be worth a rental, depending on how eager you are to see curvy, padded boobs.
Standard image disclaimer: the pictures scattered around this review were lifted from AllMoviePhoto.com and don't necessarily reflect the appearance of this HD DVD. Pictures make things pretty.
The movie opens with Lady Lara Croft in a dusty, ancient tomb and...y'know, trying to raid it, but before she can reach out for the grand prize, she's pitted against an enormous robot fat-packed with machine guns and power saws. When the battle's not going her way, she commands S.I.M.O.N. to stop, slaps a memory stick labeled "Lara's Party Mix" into the 'bot's onboard laptop, and scolds her on-staff
robot designer for using live ammo. :audible gasp!: Turns out we were in Lara's mansion all along, and it was all training 'cause when you're a tomb raider, you have to be prepared to....I don't know. Tuckered out from a day of robot fighting and a gratuitous PG-13 shower scene, Lara awakens from her slumber to a loud ticking sound: a long-hidden clock that's counting down to a planetary alignment that only happens once every five thousand years. This clock is the key to unearthing some time-manipulating mystical triangle that an ancient civilization split in two and hid on opposite ends of the globe, and it's up to Lara to track down the triangle and destroy it (gee, why didn't said ancient civilization just do that in the first place?) or the world'll be thrown into chaos or something. An agent of the Illuminati is seeking out the triangle too 'cause every dumb action movie needs a bad guy, and Lara and girly, unimposing Manfred Powell strike an unholy alliance since they need each other to restore the triangle, and there's a thing about finding out what happened to Lara's long-lost archaeologist father, and...whatever. Look, you know it's a glossy, shallow video game action flick, I know it's a glossy, shallow video game action flick, and even Tomb Raider got the memo. It's not ashamed to be a cross between Raiders of the Lost Ark and Busty Cops 2, mixing predictable, ridiculous action scenes (like Lara listening to classical music while leaping around her living room on a bungee cord, neatly coinciding with a group of heavily armed soldiers storming her palatial mansion) with cringingly bad attempts at humor and a horrific amount of filler. I guess $80 million didn't buy as many CG-monsters and explosive squibs in 2001 as it does now 'cause the downtime between the few big action sequences can be awfully tough to take. The movie's dripping with awkward, heavy-handed exposition -- try keeping a running tally of everytime a character mentions that this planetary alignment only occurs once every five thousand years -- even resorting to one of the ten worst movie
cliches ever: the character discovering a letter from Pops that opens "if you're reading this, then I am dead..." The action sequences are expensive and over-the-top but don't have any thrill or excitement behind 'em, kinda like sitting on the couch and listlessly watching someone else hammer away at a video game, and nearly every scene seems like it was ripped wholesale out of the screenplay from another, better movie. Foxfire. Cyborg 2. Original Sin. Gia. Hackers. Pushing Tin. Taking Lives. Hell's Kitchen. Mojave Moon. Not that I'm endorsing those or anything, but if all you want is to ogle Angelina Jolie's boobs, at least they're less of a tease. Tomb Raider is as bland and hollow as an off-brand chocolate Easter Bunny, and its leading lady's form-fitting wardrobe is really all it has going for it.
Video: Paramount's original Tomb Raider DVD came out in 2001, and I wouldn't be surprised to hear that the master for this 2.40:1 high definition presentation was minted five years ago as part of the production of that disc. This is unquestionably a high definition image, but it just seems kind of flat and two dimensional, not leaping off the screen like many of the other HD DVDs I've watched. Posts on some of the message boards I read claim that wider shots were fairly soft and grainy theatrically too, so the movie's mildly underwhelming appearance at least in part may just be a factor of the original photography. I have no idea. Even though it's not one of the more impressive HD DVDs I've seen, there's still a very noticeable boost in resolution, and it doesn't always work to Tomb Raider's favor. The make-up halfway covering Jolie's tattoos is very noticeable in the climax, and the dated CGI work looks especially unconvincing in high-def. On the upside, the palette is vividly saturated, and some tight shots look spectacular (and...hey! I'm talking about the camerawork, not Jolie's wardrobe). The high definition video isn't disappointing, exactly, but it's not one of the better looking HD DVDs out there.
Audio: Okay, I write this knowing full well that no one is going to agree with me, but I'll keep clacking away at my keyboard anyway. I can't say that I was particularly impressed with the Dolby Digital Plus 5.1 audio either. The mix admittedly keeps each speaker whirring
throughout, but the sound pumping out of each channel isn't all that great. I've been spoiled by HD DVDs where I can hear twelve different sounds coming from one speaker, and I can clearly and easily discern each and every one of them. Tomb Raider sounds somewhat more muddled, lacking that sort of distinctness and clarity. Even with all of the bass scattered throughout the movie, there isn't as much heft to those lower frequencies as I was expecting, and it often doesn't seem like a swift sonic kick or a thunderous rumble so much as an extended belch. Okay, but not what I'd consider great. Tomb Raider also includes the usual assortment of dubs and subtitles, along with a DTS mix. Neither the packaging nor the menus give any indication that this is a lossless DTS-HD track, and there really isn't any hardware out yet that I could use to confirm it one way or the other, so I'll just assume it's your standard issue, garden variety DTS audio.
Supplements: Although the studios have been reluctant to offer any extras in high definition to date, Paramount has included a teaser and a theatrical trailer for Tomb Raider in HD. It may not sound like much, but hey, it's a start. The other extras are all in standard definition, ported over from the 2001 DVD special edition.
The audio commentary with Simon West is pleasant enough, if somewhat subdued. He tends to respond more to what's on-screen than delve into prolonged stories, and although he does provide a good bit of detail on virtually every conceivable subject (the differences between early cuts of the movie are a frequent and especially interesting topic), there can be some fairly lengthy pauses between his comments. The fact that he occasionally appears to be reading aloud rather than spontaneously chatting also makes the commentary sound a bit stilted at times. West speaks frequently enough about the different shooting locations and offers so many little flourishes that he gives a strong sense of what it must've been like to hang around the Tomb Raider sets, and some of those smaller details are what really make this commentary worth a listen -- shooting around Jolie's ink, toy makers misinterpreting a couple of bumps on an on-set robot, explaining why Lara guns it out against robots and stone monkeys as opposed to flesh-'n-blood people, scheduling around flowering water lilies, and some of the tricks used to overcome time and budgetary restrictions. West also explains some of his motivations for certain story elements, making it all seem a little less arbitrary. A decent listen.
The longest of the
featurettes is the 25 minute "Digging into Tomb Raider", following the familiar making-of template with a wide assortment of cast and crew (and even some of the folks behind the games) noting how wonderful everyone and everything was. Lightweight and overly promotional. "Visual Effects of Tomb Raider" is a collection of eight short but sufficiently detailed featurettes on the movie's then-cutting edge computer wizardry that can be viewed individually or played in a consecutive twenty minute block. Other featurettes include "Are You Game?", an eight minute runthrough of how the character came about by the guys at Eidos and CORE, "Crafting Lara Croft", a seven minute look at the rigorous training Jolie undertook, and the self-explanatory "The Stunts of Tomb Raider", which, at ten minutes, is the longest and most substantial of the three. There are also four deleted scenes, running around seven minutes in total. Three of them are completely new scenes, and the fourth is an extended bit of exposition between Lara and Powell. This footage is presented in anamorphic widescreen, but it's rough enough to look like I'm watching American Ninja 4 on basic cable. An alternate title sequence has more of a Playstation-ish feel, and although it's not listed on its own as a deleted scene, the visual effects featurette on the timestorm has some additional footage that didn't make it into the final cut.
Finally, U2 is spliced into footage from the movie for the band's "Elevation" music video.
Conclusion: Tomb Raider raked in right at a quarter of a billion dollars at the box office internationally, so the movie apparently has its fans. I can't say that I'm one of 'em, though; it's a completely forgettable action flick, and there's nothing about the movie or its release on HD DVD that demands shelling out $25 to see. Might be worth a rental, depending on how eager you are to see curvy, padded boobs.
Standard image disclaimer: the pictures scattered around this review were lifted from AllMoviePhoto.com and don't necessarily reflect the appearance of this HD DVD. Pictures make things pretty.
|
| Popular Reviews |
| Sponsored Links |
|
|
| Sponsored Links |
|
|
| Release List | Reviews | Shop | Newsletter | Forum | DVD Giveaways | Blu-Ray | Advertise |
|
Copyright 2024 DVDTalk.com All Rights Reserved. Legal Info, Privacy Policy, Terms of Use,
Manage Preferences,
Your Privacy Choices 
| |||||||