THE FILM

A pox, a pox I say, on the house of the individual who first told Rainn Wilson he was a funny man. For the inconsiderate moose that decided to open their trap and inspire this actor, I wish them the same discomfort I suffered while enduring Wilson's first starring effort, "The Rocker."

Enjoying the rising success of his '80's metal band Vesuvius, drummer Robert "Fish" Fishman (Rainn Wilson) is floored when his band mates (including Fred Armisen, Bradley Cooper, and Will Arnett) fire him. Now 20 years later, Fish is stuck in a series of soul-sucking jobs, living in his sister's attic. When nephew Matt (Jack Black photocopy Josh Cad, "21") asks Fish to join his band A.D.D. (including Teddy Geiger and the gifted Emma Stone) for a few gigs, the lonely drummer agrees, turning the garage nobodies into chart-topping YouTube stars when footage of his nude rehearsals leaks. Asked to tour, A.D.D. hits the road, offering Fish the rock star lifestyle he's craved for decades, but can his aged, doughy body take the pressures of fame? Will mom Amanda (Christina Applegate, on autopilot) allow Fish to corrupt the band?

Do you really care?

"Rocker" is a mundane comedy made to be discovered on cable television, where the convention of crotch hits, vomit jokes, nude Rainn Wilson, and storytelling clichés can be absorbed without the pressures of ticket and concession pricing. It's a terrible film and I didn't giggle at all while watching it, but I can see its potential appeal with a distracted home audience who has the option of burning through a checklist of domestic tasks while the picture drones on in the distant background. Gosh, I envy those people.

Unfortunately, I had to sit through "Rocker" as it assembled a laundry list of uninspired humor, often falling back on slapstick 101 nuggets to get a response out of the viewer. Anemically directed by Peter Cattaneo ("The Full Monty"), "Rocker" tries to squeeze as much comedic mileage out of Wilson as it can, aggressively depending on the actor to stand proudly in front of the camera and mug shamelessly to sniff out any hint of a chuckle. Wilson is enormously grueling to watch here, bouncing around the frame while his co-stars wait their turn for lines.

"Rocker" is more of a fall-down-and-go-boom comedy than an inspired send up of rock star rites of passage or hair metal traditions, and that feels like such a waste; especially with cock rock goon Brett Michaels back in the public eye. Surely there's more potential substance to the film than Wilson getting hit in the face with branches, strolling around shirtless (a Will Ferrell staple), falling over his drum kit, or keeping some "lucky puke" in his front pocket?

Sadly, no.

THE DVD

Visual:

Fox provided DVD Talk with only a DVD-R screener of "The Rocker." While containing an anamorphic widescreen (1.85:1 aspect ratio) transfer, the image was riddled with compression problems and watermarks.

Audio:

Again, while in screener form, the 5.1 Dolby Digital mix appears to be consistent, blasting the heavy metal antics and general slapstick to the surround channels, making good use of soundtrack selections, separated well from dialogue. I couldn't detect any audio inadequacies. A French 2.0 track is also included.

Subtitles:

English and Spanish subtitles are offered.

Extras:

A feature-length audio commentary with director Peter Cattaneo and Rainn Wilson is an animated start to the "Rocker" DVD supplements (obviously recorded before the film tanked at the box office), with both participants game to chat up the film. The information they provide is of questionable merit (Wilson likes the play-by-play commentary approach), though I did enjoy hearing about the musical accomplishments of the cast and the improvisational tangents. The boys tend to compete harshly on the one-liner front, which is brutal to listen to, but overall the track reaches the finish line with far more comedic success than the actual motion picture.

A second commentary track with actors Emma Stone, Josh Cad, Jason Sudeikis, and Teddy Geiger provides a party atmosphere. Kicking off the chat with the Pledge of Allegiance, the track immediately dies on auditory touchdown, with each cast member attempting to be the most hilarious in the room, dishing up one-liners over production info. Even worse, the most insistent voice is Cad, who is absolute comedy poison. Don't waste your time with this one.

"Deleted Scenes" (16:11) asks the burning question: did you crave more lucky puke? If the answer is yes, then saddle up for this collection of trimmed magic. Also on display are more drumming jokes, failed orgies, and "Almost Famous" mockery.

"Gag Reel" (9:50) presents nearly 10 full minutes of botched takes and crazy mix-em-ups, with only Sudeikis and his endless array of dirty come-ons able to score some smiles.

"MTV Panel" (5:51) is a faux prank with Cad trying to interject via satellite during a post-screening Q & A. Again, it's Cad, so no need to tie on your giggle bib.

"Podcasts" (10:23) posits Wilson as the host of "Book Chat," using four comedic interview opportunities with guitarist Slash to mine some wackiness. Plugs for "The Rocker" ensue.

"Vesuvius Gags" (4:09) is simply a series of screamy improvisations from Armisen, Cooper, and Arnett captured during the film's opening act.

"Pete Best Interview" (6:44) sits down with cast and crew members as they explain how the former Beatle drummer's story influenced "The Rocker." Best is also interviewed as he prepares for his cameo appearance in the film.

"Vesuvius PSAs" (1:11) feature the actors stretching their "Spinal Tap" muscles.

"Rainn Wilson: Office Rocker" (3:31) is yet another gag piece, this time showcasing the cast hitting up Wilson for "Office" roles.

"Behind the Band: Vesuvius" (2:41) is a brief lampoon of VH1's "Behind the Music" series.

"Rock Tales" (6:22) interrogates the principals about their music dreams and history, making this the only semi-serious featurette on the DVD.

"Rock Beat with Fish Fishman" (2:32) offers Wilson in-character as Fish, who grows increasingly irritated during a lousy interview.

"'I'm Not Bitter' Music Video" (2:49) collects clips from the movie to act as a promotional tool for the feature. Strangely, the dialogue often dwarfs the actual song.

"Fox Movie Channel Presents: In Character with 'The Rocker'" (2:16) catches up with Wilson as he...well, promotes "The Rocker" by walking viewers through the plot.

"The Music" (11:15) breaks down the songwriting aspect of the film, interviewing composer Chad Fischer, who assembled the small pile of new songs featured throughout the picture. Focus quickly moves over to emo champ Geiger, who was the only member of the cast able to play the songs.

A Theatrical Trailer has not been included on this DVD.

FINAL THOUGHTS

With a comedy cast that includes Wilson, Arnett, Cooper, and Cad, there's already a bottom shelf DVD store version of a Mr. Yuk sticker slapped on this baby. Take the hint.