Short Takes

Until this slice of late-night cable bait, yours truly was under the impression that there's few things worse than porno stars who genuinely TRY to act. Not so. What's MUCH worse is buxom adult starlets who attempt actual thespian activity WITHOUT the added distraction of full-contact diddling. Granted, Shayla LaVeaux has plenty to emote about. First her hubby (James Bonn) cuts short their anniversary celebration between the sheets to jet to an early meeting. Then he wakes her while attempting to wring her neck. Later, after she fends him off, the police arrive with news his car careened off a cliff. Julia Parton is her best friend and attorney who shares Shayla's aversion to undies. Mandy Fisher plays her shrink even though her resume boasts nary a hardcore title. Being an "erotic thriller," shenanigans are no doubt afoot, so perineal pool boy Randy Spears steps in as a kindly cop who sniffs out the trouble a la Scooby-Doo and "comforts" our fetching widow. Eight breasts. Seven quickies. Stalker cam. Nekkid sunbathing. Gratuitous white-suited sanitarium goons. Mickey slipping. Lesbian tongue rasslin. Mr. Spears to an amorous Amber Newman, "OK, doll. But I'm still on the clock." (2001, 71 mins, Fullframe, DD 2.0, No extras provided for review.)