The Show
They say that watching fish swim has health benefits, so this may be the first non-exercise DVD that can actually do something good for you. You have to actually watch the DVD to get those benefits though, which may be a problem for some. The disc isn't produced the way you might think it would be, making for a disappointing experience.

Five tanks are included (Classic, Predator, Living Reef, Shark and Nautilus), each with its own fishy population (or shellfish in Nautilus and Predator's case.) This isn't just a visual experience though, as there are also three audio tracks, two different tracks of Handel's Water Music (appropriate) and one of running water, like the kind you'd find in a filter (though much louder.) Now, with three "tanks" and a natural-sound option, I assumed the disc would replicate the fish tank look by filling the screen with a tank of the same size, so it would basically look like you had fish inside your TV, and if you have a nice big widescreen TV, you'd have a sweet fish farm. But I guess that's why the line about making an ass out of you and me was spoken.

Instead of turning your screen into a tank, you get a high-quality replica of the kind of programming you see on the Discovery Channel, i.e. close-ups of fish. It just doesn't look like a tank, which would be the real reason to own this. Even when the scene actually shifts to a larger overview of the fish, it's still tighter than the edges of the tank, so the fish swim off the screen. The promotional copy used to promote this disc made mention of it recreating the feel of an aquarium more than once, but the end product is nothing like it. I was highly disappointed. Worse yet, the five tanks aren't even all the same length. The first four are 15 minutes long, but the fifth is just five minutes. Why do the shellfish get shortchanged? Why?

The DVD
On one DVD, there are five fish tanks to choose from, on a stylish animated full-screen menu. Music and video choices are separate, and widescreen and full-screen options are available after your tank is selected. Each tank has play and repeat (loop) choices, while the main menu gives you the chance to play all tanks or put all the tanks on a loop. On the music menu, there are five options, with Dolby Digital 5.1 and DTS 5.1 for each of the two music tracks, and one 2.0 Stereo natural sound track. A weblink page is available off the main page as well. In the keepcase you get an insert that shows the five included tanks.

The Quality
Columbia Tri-Star says these tanks are presented in Superbit quality, and just looking at the video, I'd say that's true, but the bitrate tops out at 5Mbps. I'd like to say I've seen crisper underwater footage, but I believe that was in high-definition. Fine details come across clearly on this DVD, and the colors are bright, but not over-saturated. There are plenty of shadows from the reefs in the tanks and ripples of light from above, but they are rendered just right. This is likely as good as this could look. The classical music soundtrack is free of any problems, though the DTS track is just that much better, with a bolder sound and more fine audio detail. The natural aquarium track is simply running water (louder than any filter I've ever heard) that might make you feel the need to pee.

The Extras
The only extra for "Naked Fish" isn't even on the DVD. A website is provided that you can visit to download six fish wallpapers and five screensavers (including one in 1080i high-definition), and check out an extensive list of fish links. It's a nice bonus, but you can't check it out without a computer, so you're left extra-less while watching on DVD.

The Bottom Line
It may be cheaper than putting a 50-gallon fish tank in your living room, but the "Naked Fish" experience isn't quite life-like, thanks to the filming technique and audio options. It's novelty value isn't too great either, as there's only one thing you can really do with it, and that's let it play. While the choice of tank and soundtrack increase the replay factor, you have to not want to watch your TV in order to enjoy this video, as it's unlikely you will sit and watch these fish. This is pure background noise, and somewhat expensive noise at that. Unless you really love fish, you can skip this one.

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*The Reviewer's Bias section is an attempt to help readers use the review to its best effect. By knowing where the reviewer's biases lie on the film's subject matter, one can read the review with the right mindset.