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Don't Mess With My Sister!
Elite // R // October 30, 2000
List Price: $24.95 [Buy now and save at Amazon]
One of my earliest movie-related memories is sifting through some junk in my garage and seeing the VHS box for "I Spit On Your Grave" bured in my father's VHS collection. Um, I don't really remember when that was, but the image of that butt and that knife is forever embedded in my mind. Well, I never did watch the movie, but I did see Meir Zarchi's follow-up, "Don't Mess With My Sister". I realize it's impossible to say anything about "Don't Mess With My Sister" without mentioning "I Spit On Your Grave", and not having seen the only other movie Zarchi directed, I can't really write much of a snazzy introduction. Oh well.
So, plot...! About as wholesome and charming as "I Spit On Your Grave" is s'posed t' be, "Don't Mess With My Sister" is about an enterprising young man named Steven who's pursuing a business degree and seems close to a partnership with his brothers-in-law in the Sanford-esque family junkyard. Yes, things look up for Steven and his budding family. Only...whoops! Steven doesn't make junk-partner, and the bellydancer hitchhiker hired to strip at Steven's surprise birthday party is nearly raped at another gig (this isn't nearly as interesting as it sounds). The would-be rapist quickly learns not to mess with Steven and Annika, and after his lifeless body hits the floor with a resounding thud, Steve and Annika traipse off to indulge their animalistic urges. Word gets back to the wife, and Clara's brothers quickly come to defend her honor. Steve, though, doesn't plan on going down without a fight. (cue ominous music)
The worst thing a schlock movie can be is boring, and...yeah, "Don't Mess With My Sister" isn't nearly as exciting as my engaging synopsis may make it seem. Even if I didn't make it sound at all exciting, I promise...it's worse. Unbearable. Next to nothing I traditionally expect from an exploitation flick is in "Don't Mess With My Sister" -- very little violence, not much in the way of nudity, no graphic gore... I tried really hard to find something to recommend about the film, but I couldn't come up with a single redeeming quality. Actually, that's a lie. Not about there not being anything redeeming, but I didn't really try. I did sit through the entire movie, and consider me your...uh...sin-eater or whatever. I've been through indescribable pain that you now know to avoid. Please, please...don't let my suffering be in vain. Stay away from "Don't Mess With My Sister".
Video: Yet another nice job by Elite, making a low-budget, widely-ignored and underappreciated movie look better than it ever has. "Don't Mess With My Sister" is presented in anamorphic widescreen at an aspect ratio of 1.85:1. A couple of scenes look a little grainy, which isn't a surprise for a 15-year-old microbudget movie, and there are handful of bits of dust and assorted specks, though much less than I've come to expect from films of this age. As painful as "Don't Mess With My Sister" was to watch, I can't fault the transfer or authoring.
Audio: The audio is Dolby Digital mono, and like most Elite releases, doesn't suffer from nasties like hiss or distortion. It's nothing spectacular, but "Don't Mess With My Sister" sounds decent...probably very representative of the way the film sounded wherever it played theatrically.
Extras: The usual theatrical trailer is included, and also packed on is some full-frame alternate footage -- a heap of more character development and th' like.
Conclusion: I'm typically the sort of fanboy who gushes over Elite releases. I have a thing for low-budget '80s horror, and Elite has done a pretty respectable job of digging up some overlooked gems from back in th' day and giving them a very nice presentation on DVD. What's the difference between "Don't Mess With My Sister" and two of my favorites, "Mutant" and "The House on Sorority Row"? Well, the lack of a Richard Band score, of course, but more notably, "Don't Mess With My Sister" really just doesn't have anything going for it. On the surface, this seemed like the sort of movie I'd like, but "Don't Mess With My Sister" is a clunker. If I were a lesser reviewer, I'd say something corny like 'don't mess with Don't Mess With My Sister!', but instead, I'll just say Skip it.
So, plot...! About as wholesome and charming as "I Spit On Your Grave" is s'posed t' be, "Don't Mess With My Sister" is about an enterprising young man named Steven who's pursuing a business degree and seems close to a partnership with his brothers-in-law in the Sanford-esque family junkyard. Yes, things look up for Steven and his budding family. Only...whoops! Steven doesn't make junk-partner, and the bellydancer hitchhiker hired to strip at Steven's surprise birthday party is nearly raped at another gig (this isn't nearly as interesting as it sounds). The would-be rapist quickly learns not to mess with Steven and Annika, and after his lifeless body hits the floor with a resounding thud, Steve and Annika traipse off to indulge their animalistic urges. Word gets back to the wife, and Clara's brothers quickly come to defend her honor. Steve, though, doesn't plan on going down without a fight. (cue ominous music)
The worst thing a schlock movie can be is boring, and...yeah, "Don't Mess With My Sister" isn't nearly as exciting as my engaging synopsis may make it seem. Even if I didn't make it sound at all exciting, I promise...it's worse. Unbearable. Next to nothing I traditionally expect from an exploitation flick is in "Don't Mess With My Sister" -- very little violence, not much in the way of nudity, no graphic gore... I tried really hard to find something to recommend about the film, but I couldn't come up with a single redeeming quality. Actually, that's a lie. Not about there not being anything redeeming, but I didn't really try. I did sit through the entire movie, and consider me your...uh...sin-eater or whatever. I've been through indescribable pain that you now know to avoid. Please, please...don't let my suffering be in vain. Stay away from "Don't Mess With My Sister".
Video: Yet another nice job by Elite, making a low-budget, widely-ignored and underappreciated movie look better than it ever has. "Don't Mess With My Sister" is presented in anamorphic widescreen at an aspect ratio of 1.85:1. A couple of scenes look a little grainy, which isn't a surprise for a 15-year-old microbudget movie, and there are handful of bits of dust and assorted specks, though much less than I've come to expect from films of this age. As painful as "Don't Mess With My Sister" was to watch, I can't fault the transfer or authoring.
Audio: The audio is Dolby Digital mono, and like most Elite releases, doesn't suffer from nasties like hiss or distortion. It's nothing spectacular, but "Don't Mess With My Sister" sounds decent...probably very representative of the way the film sounded wherever it played theatrically.
Extras: The usual theatrical trailer is included, and also packed on is some full-frame alternate footage -- a heap of more character development and th' like.
Conclusion: I'm typically the sort of fanboy who gushes over Elite releases. I have a thing for low-budget '80s horror, and Elite has done a pretty respectable job of digging up some overlooked gems from back in th' day and giving them a very nice presentation on DVD. What's the difference between "Don't Mess With My Sister" and two of my favorites, "Mutant" and "The House on Sorority Row"? Well, the lack of a Richard Band score, of course, but more notably, "Don't Mess With My Sister" really just doesn't have anything going for it. On the surface, this seemed like the sort of movie I'd like, but "Don't Mess With My Sister" is a clunker. If I were a lesser reviewer, I'd say something corny like 'don't mess with Don't Mess With My Sister!', but instead, I'll just say Skip it.
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