Who knew there were so many lesbian strip clubs in outer space?

Longtime professional body double and frequent dropper of clothes Shelley Michelle gets her first starring role in a science fiction adventure so cheaply made and shoddily constructed, you'll have little choice but to down some alcohol of your choice, invite a few friends over, and laugh the night away.

Approaching a sublevel of ineptness generally unseen outside the realm of Albert Pyun or Fred Olen Ray, Galaxy Hunter is about a seriously busty intergalactic space minx who's assigned to rescue some guy from some villains. It's all fairly vague. Along the way our heroine (known as either "3V51" or "Ginger") befriends a quartet of female bounty hunters: a robot who enjoys flashing her breasts, a gal with some Klingon makeup stuck to her forehead, and a pair of lesbian butt-kickers who don't mind stopping for a smooch in between the poorly-orchestrated gunfights.

One would logically root for a gal like Shelley Michelle to "branch out" after spending years in naked anonymity, but (and this is me being kind) the gal's no actress. Apparently her years spent playing Julia Roberts' legs in Pretty Woman and Claudia Christian's breasts in Hexed have left Ms. Michelle with some mild delusions of grandeur: the buxom babe not only gets her first starring role in Galaxy Hunter; she also wrote the script and produced this hilariously malformed product.

The entire film looks like it was filmed in someone's garage, which is not to knee-jerkedly imply that a low budget automatically equals an awful film. But in this case, yeah, that's precisely what I'm saying. One can only guess at how badly the veteran character actor Stacy Keach needed his (inevitably skimpy) paycheck for appearing in Galaxy Hunter, but the guy ends up humiliating himself in rare form here. The absolute highlight (and by that I mean "lowlight") has got to be a guy named Alain Benatar. As the evil intergalactic drug dealer / pimp / goofball, Mr. Benatar delivers a performance that's all but guaranteed a spot in the Awful Actor Hall of Fame. The guy struts and preens and coos and over-emotes to a degree that bashes right through "unknowingly hilarious" and speeds right down the highway of slack-jawed awfulness. Truly amusing stuff.

To the movie's credit, the rather lovely Ms. Michelle does spend the entire movie in (and out of) a slinky full-body jumpsuit -and- Galaxy Hunter is all but packed to the rafters with performances both hilariously inept and monumentally moronic. The dialogue, the effects, the production value, the non-sensical plot ... all of it seems to exist solely as material to be wedged in amongst a series of delightful (yet arcanely incongruous) scenes of female nakedness. Apparently the distant future allows for inter-planetary travel, yet the only thing ever constructed on these distant planets are Western-era saloons and strobe-laden booby bars.

Fans of rock-bottom awful cinema will have a royal hoot with Galaxy Hunter. Literally anyone else need not apply.

The DVD

Video: A grainy, fuzzy, and generally cheap-looking Widescreen transfer is what's on display. That and a whole lot of seriously stacked Starbabes.

Audio: Dolby Digital 2.0, which is just good enough to deliver the dialogue audibly. Not that you'll be thankful for that...

Extras: Trailers for a pair of Razor Digital releases: The Passage and Under the Gun.

Final Thoughts

It's only logical that a woman who's spent the past twenty years acting as a superstar's butt and/or boobs would try to branch out and capture a little stardom for herself, but after sitting slack-jawed and stunned by the low-rent awfulness of Galaxy Hunter, my advice to Shelley Michelle would be this: stick to the anonymous nakedness, sweetie. You can't write, you're not much of an actress, but (as the casting directors clearly know by now) you do have one heck of a body! Stick with what you're good at. And would someebody please give Stacy Keach a real gig? The poor guy really deserves a little better than this.