The Movies:

Andy Sidaris makes movies (usually in Hawaii) that focus on three things – bullets, bombs and babes. That's the key to his success, and the man makes no false claims about his work or his intent behind it. These are fun movies that work on a base level. They're entertainment through and through, nothing more, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you like healthy doses of sex and violence and aren't so much worried about original storylines or award winning performances, Andy's films might be just what you're looking for and this collection compiles three of his better known works.

Malibu Express (1985):

In one of Andy Sidaris' better known ventures, Darby Hinton plays Cody Abilene, one very human private eye who seriously needs to come up with some cash and soon or he's going to find himself in even more dire straits than he's already in. His problem is that he's not the best private dick in the business, and as such, he doesn't have as many clients as he'd like to. Time are tough for Cody, and he's starting to get pretty desperate.

As luck would have it, the lovely Lady Lillian Chamberlain (Niki Dantine) hires him to solve the mysterious murder of her butler, and of course, he jumps at the chance, as it's one of the most lucrative cases he's ever had cross his plate. This case also has the added bonus of not only paying well, but answering to a very foxy employer, something that Cody seems to be quite queen on.

Occasionally distracted by the beautiful (and curvy) help around Contessa's estate (she seems to only employ Playmates… not a bad decision, mind you), Darby finds himself wrapped up in something he didn't quite anticipate when he signed on for the case - a deadly cat and mouse game of spy-jinks and blackmail. The deeper he gets drawn into the strange scenario and the more he learns about the butler's death, the more dangerous his situation becomes and he'd better watch out as it's starting to look like he might just be finding out too much…

An interesting cast of supporting characters and appearances by Sybil Danning and 'Busty O'Shea' make Malibu Express a classic 80s action/exploitation film. Sidaris fills his film with topless women and gratuitous violence, widely regarded as staples of the genre, and while he's not making Oscar winning material here, he puts enough care into his work that the movie flows nicely and contains some great exploitation set pieces. The fact that Danning runs around in a sort of criss-cross tube-top outfit certainly doesn't hurt anything, and the added bonus of having Barbara Edwards and Kimberly MacArthur wandering around strutting their stuff is a nice touch.

Hard Ticket To Hawaii (1987):

Made two years after the first film on this set, Hard Ticket To Hawaii (filmed on location!) follows the story of a pair of drug enforcement agents are killed by some dope peddling maniacs on a private island somewhere in the lovely state of Hawaii. An organization known only as The Agency employs to fine and foxy operatives, Donna (Playboy Playmate Dona Speir) and Taryn (Playboy Playmate Hope Marie Carolton), who by no intentional means end up scoring a load of diamonds that were meant to be delivered to Seth Romero (Rodrigo Obregon), the drug dealer who was responsible for the death of the two NARCS.

Romero is pretty pissed off about losing his diamonds and of course, gets his goons together so that he can take them back. Donna and Taryn get a few other Agency operatives in to help them out and they wage an all out war on Romero to avenge the death of the NARCS and stop him from getting the diamonds and peddling more dope. If that weren't enough trouble for our heroines, there's a deadly mutant snake running around the area killing people left, right and center!

Highlight by a scene where a man and his inflatable love doll are blown up in mid air by a rocket launcher, Hard Ticket To Hawaii features all the boobs and explosions and shoot out's you'd expect from Sidaris. Girls take of their tops to hop in the hot tub together, the run around fighting crime wearing nothing but bikini tops to barely cover their bouncing, heaving, hooters, and everything is completely ridiculous and completely enjoyable.

Another really enjoyable aspect of this movie, at least in the nostalgic sense, is the bad eighties fashions on display here. Everyone is wearing at least one pastel shade at any given time during the movie's ninety minute running time, and more often than not, their entire ensemble looks like something out of a bad Miami Vice episode.

Oiled up musclewomen practice their martial arts skills, tough talking guys try to figure out how to take down their enemies, and buxom women spend a lot of time running around bouncing. If any one movie personifies what Sidaris' style is all about, it's Hard Ticket To Hawaii. Everything that the man is known for is in here and nothing is watered down or left to the imagination. It also, amazingly so, features more bad martial arts scenes than any of his other movies combined, always a nice touch.

Fit To Kill (1993):

Chang (Aki Aleong) is a businessman from the Orient who just happens to own the world famous Alexa diamond. This diamond, which was stolen from the Russians during the Second World War, is one of the most valuable gems in the entire world and because of that, there's a criminal element that would love to get their hands on it.

Chang is a good man though and he intends to bring it back to the Russian people who are going to hold a banquet in his honor to celebrate the return of their precious stone. However, just before all of that is to go down, the diamond is stolen by a nefarious criminal named Kane (Geoffrey Moore) and his deadly partner Blu Steele (Penthouse Pet Julie Strain).

The company that was in charge of event security for the dinner have now got their hands full as to make amends to Chang and to Russia, they've got to go at get that diamond back from Kane and Blue Steel before the peddle it through a fence and turn it into cold hard cash. In order to make this happen, they send in Donna (Dona Speir reprising her role from the last movie) and Nicole (Roberta Vasquez), two beautiful and dangerous operatives who have what it takes to get the job done.

While this one doesn't have the mutant snake and bad martial arts factor (well, in all fairness there is some bad martial arts in here, but not nearly as much as the last movie) that made Hard Ticket To Hawaii such a damn good movie, it's still got enough Playmate's running around in camouflage shorts and tank tops wielding automatic weapons that it should please most fans of trash cinema. Highlights from the film include a nifty remote control helicopter attack scene, some great footage of the strip in Las Vegas circa the early nineties, and of course, Julie Strain, who manages to be creepy, intimidating, and sexy in that strange Amazonian way of hers all at the same time.

Like all of Sidaris' films, the plot in Fit To Kill is lean and mean, not wasting any time with things like character development or unpredictable plot twists. Once again, Andy piles on the naked women and gratuitous violence and delivers another incredibly enjoyable guilty pleasure that never passes up a good opportunity to show someone getting it on or getting it in the back.

The Video:

The open matte 1.33.1 transfers on all three of these DVDs are taken from the original negatives and look pretty close to perfect, all things considered. A bit of speckling occurs and there is the odd scratch here and there, but for the most part, these look really, really nice, with Malibu Express looking a tad more worn than the other two films, likely because it's the oldest of the three movies in this set. The only big flaw that needs to be noted is that the transfer are not properly flagged for playback on progressive scan hardware, so you'll want to adjust your setup to avoid those nasty jaggies. Having only ever seen these on worn out VHS tapes prior to this release, I must say it's a world of difference and I never thought I'd see these movies look so good. Color definition is quite nice, black levels are strong and deep, and while there is some grain present in a few scenes it really isn't anything that shouldn't be there. Edge enhancement and mpeg compression artifacts aren't a big deal even when they do show up and each of the three movies looks fine.

The Audio:

The Dolby Digital Stereo tracks for the films are decent enough. There's some hiss and occasionally it helps to turn the volume up here and there, but overall, it's a satisfactory mix. Don't go looking for alternate language tracks, subtitles or closed captioning options cause you're not going to find them here but the mixes that are supplied get the job done and don't ask any questions. Dialogue is clean and clear and the lovely scores come though just fine. The shoot outs and explosions have enough power behind them that they work, and while these aren't state of the art surround mixes, they do the trick.

These discs are more stacked than Andy Sidaris' starlets and a mammoth selection of big and bouncy extras awaits the Sidaris fan on each of these DVDs!

Arlene and Andy Sidaris provide intelligent and humorous commentaries on all three DVDs which prove to be both informative and amusing and are very much worth listening to. Arlene has a lot less to say on the Malibu Express track because she just wasn't as involved in it, so it's more of an observational commentary than the ones recorded for Hard Ticket To Hawaii and Fit To Kill, but it's still fun to hear the two of them go into detail about getting these features made and the people that they worked with to do it. The couple has a refreshing sense of humor about what they do, and they really seem to have a good time doing it.

Each of the films also feature optional introductions from Andy and the continuously naked Julie Strain. They're funny enough and accurately set the movies up quite nicely, as they provide some basic background information on the movie and do so with a nice sense of humor.

All three DVDs also have a great feature called 'Andy Sidaris Film School' where the cheesemaster himself shows you the viewer how he makes it all happen as he teaches you not only how to direct an action scene, but also one of his infamous 'sexy' scenes as well. It's a lot of fun, even if it is repeated on each of the three discs in the exact same manner.

Malibu Express has also got a couple of exclusive extras. There are three short documentaries included on the DVD - two feature Cynthia Brimahll and Suzi Simpson and the third one is an interview with John Brown, who worked with Andy on a few of his films. They explain how they enjoyed their work, how they got into their roles, and what they think about the finished version of the film itself.

Exclusive to Hard Ticket To Hawaii is a behind the scenes segment that features some interviews with Andy, a few of the girls from the movie, and some behind the scenes footage. Most of this was shot on video and looks a little rough but the content is interesting. There's some rough footage of the sex scene that takes place by the waterfall in here, and plenty of footage of Dona Speir's massive breasts. At over half an hour in length, it's a fairly in depth look at the movie,

Available only on the Fit To Kill DVD is another behind the scenes featurette that examines the making of the movie. Julie and Andy start the segment off together, as they do the other ones in the set, and we start off by learning all about Ms. Strain and her important role as Blu Steel in the movie. This is highlighted by a lot of footage of her without any clothes on, and some interviews. Again, there's a wealth of behind the scenes footage and test footage in here that give us a peek at the way things went down while the movie was being put together, as well as some interesting location footage. There's some interview clips with Andy and a few of the other performers that are in the movie, as well as some test footage for some of the shoot outs and action set pieces as well. At almost forty minutes in length, it's a pretty in-depth look at the making of the movie.

Still galleries, trailers for the entire Sidaris film catalogue, talent bios, and liner notes round out the supplemental material on all three discs.

On a side note, both discs feature an innovation I personally hope to see utilized on more DVDs in the future! A handy guide will inform you if the chapter you want to watch contains bombs, bullets, babes or a combination of all three! This is particularly handy should you have a favorite explosion, breast or handgun you might want to revisit in the future.

Final Thoughts:

If you're into Andy Sidaris' guns, girls and explosions school of film, you'll definitely want to grab these discs, and considering the amount of material on here, the low MSRP makes them a steal. Recommended, but know what you're getting into first!

Ian lives in NYC with his wife where he writes for DVD Talk, runs Rock! Shock! Pop!. He likes NYC a lot, even if it is expensive and loud.