The year was 1981. "Diff'rent Strokes" had been on for three years, and "Webster" was still two years away. In the meantime, we had "Gimme a Break!," another sitcom about black people and white people living under the same roof. And like those other shows, the characters on this one demonstrated that the races could learn from each other, primarily through the use of Very Special Episodes.

"Gimme a Break!" would run for six years and "launch" the "career" of Joey Lawrence, and Season 1 sets things up quickly: Nell (Nell Carter) is a rotund, sassy woman who helps a crusty widower take care of his three teenage daughters, the man's wife (Nell's best friend) having died before the series began. On that paper-thin premise hangs the entire show. And guess what? It's not funny.

It's sad reviewing these DVD sets, sometimes. I watched "Gimme a Break!" faithfully when it was first on, when I was 7-12 years old. And here I am now, a grown man, watching it and seeing just how crappy it is.

The dialogue is lame and cheesy, with lines like "If I gain any more weight, I'm gonna have to trade in my nightgown for a Hefty bag" passing for comedy. The jokes are extraordinarily primitive: Chief Kanisky (Dolph Sweet) makes fun of Nell's cooking and occasionally her weight, while Nell makes references to being sexually promiscuous and delivers smackdowns to anyone who crosses her. The girls -- a PG-rated slut, a nerd and a tomboy -- get involved in shenanigans and hijinks, and Nell usually has to keep their conservative, old-fashioned father from killing them.

Very Special Episodes abound. In the first season alone, Kanisky shoots and kills a robber, and Katie is discovered to be on birth control. I don't remember if this show ever featured child molesters, like most '80s sitcoms did, but I assume so.

In one hilariously stupid episode, oldest daughter Katie is part of a singing group that performs at open-mic night and subsequently catches the eye of a Hollywood producer -- all on the strength of one bland, unimaginative musical number that will either make you cringe or laugh, depending on your tolerance for dull post-disco tripe.

Maybe you remember the show fondly, as I do. If so, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but take my word for it: We have remembered it falsely. Seen now, through the prism of age and wisdom, the show holds no laughs and only minimal charm. Watch one episode and see if you don't agree.

Here are the episodes:

Katie the Crook (10/29/1981) - Because she's distraught about her mother's death, oldest daughter Katie shoplifts. Or something like that.

A Good Man is Hard to Find (11/5/1981) - The Chief sets up one of his officers on a date with Nell, unaware that the guy is just sucking up to the Chief to get a promotion.

The Second Time Around (11/12/1981) - The Chief runs into an old classmate and romantic sparks fly.

Mom's Birthday (11/19/1981) - The Chief takes the family out to dinner on what would have been Mom's birthday. Cheery, no?

Do or Diet (11/26/1981) - Nell joins a weight-loss group, and the Chief is mistaken for a member, what with being really fat and all.

A Man in Nell's Room (12/3/1981) - Nell has a man over (Danny Glover!), and the Chief doesn't like that kind of thing going on under his roof.

Your Prisoner is Dead (12/10/1981) - The Chief kills a guy during a robbery, and the event unnerves him, though probably not as much as the guy he shot.

Julie's Rejection (12/17/1981) - Middle daughter Julie wants to join a snooty social club, and Nell coaches her.

Julie's First Love (1/7/1982) - Julie meets a guy at the arcade and is smitten. See, nerds? There's hope!

Nell's Ex (1/14/1982) - Nell's ex-husband shows up and wants money, like ex-husbands always do.

Katie the Cheat (1/21/1982) - Katie cheats on a test. Yawn.

The Emergency (2/4/1982) - Katie's rushed to the hospital with stomach pain. Her IUD is causing problems! The Chief freaks out.

Nell Goes Home (2/11/1982) - Nell's dad is dying, so she heads home to see him.

Samantha Steals a Squad Car (2/18/1982) - Youngest daughter Samantha, responding to chaos in the household, steals a squad car. Episode features the N word.

Grandma Fools Around (2/25/1982) - The Chief's parents celebrate their 55th anniversary, and Grandpa finds a love letter than Grandma wrote years ago to someone else. (Teddy Roosevelt, I think.)

Hot Muffins (3/11/1982) - Katie's band is a hit, goodness knows why.

Sam's Affair (3/18/1982) - Samantha kisses a boy and thinks it will make her pregnant. Silly girl! Using a public swimming pool, sure. Kissing, no.

The Robbery (3/25/1982) - The home is burglarized, and Nell outsmarts them, is she is wont to do.

An Unmarried Couple (4/1/1982) - Katie's friend shows up nine months pregnant, unmarried, and with no plans. The Chief freaks out.

THE DVD

All 19 episodes from Season 1 are included, uncut (about 24 minutes each) on three discs (8/8/3), with the bonus materials all on the third disc. Each disc is in a separate Digipak-style case, with that volume's episodes described on the back cover. The three units are in one cardboard slipcover. It's an efficient, durable package.

One serious drawback: There are no chapter breaks in the individual episodes. You hit "chapter skip" and it takes you to the very end of the episode and back to the menu. That's some serious laziness on the part of Universal.

There are optional English subtitles on the episodes. There are no alternate languages.

VIDEO: Just that delicious early-'80s video: full-frame, brightly lit, and with the colors all kind of blending together. The digital transfer is adequate.

AUDIO: Mono, of course, and fine for our dubious purposes. You can hear every fake, pre-recorded laugh clear as a bell.

EXTRAS: One featurette called "The Great '80s Flashback" (28:54) purports to tell us, VH1-style, about the TV shows that changed the landscape of television in the 1980s. By some CRAZY COINCIDENCE, the only shows mentioned are ones that are owned by Universal, which put out this DVD set. Shows that changed the landscape of television that Universal doesn't own are ignored, while forgettable Universal products like "Charles in Charge" and "Simon and Simon" are lauded. So take it for what it's worth.

The other "extras" are three TV episodes: a "Kate & Allie," a "Charles in Charge" and a Season 2 episode of "Gimme a Break!" Maybe you'll enjoy watching them -- and maybe you'll consider purchasing the Universal DVDs that feature them!

IN SUMMARY

Another childhood memory destroyed, I know. Sorry. "Gimme a Break!" is a show best left in the past. If you persist, however, the set is handsomely packaged and the episodes are uncut. A real fan would probably want some real extras, but what can you do?