Reviews & Columns
Reviews
DVD
TV on DVD
Blu-ray
4K UHD
International DVDs
In Theaters
Reviews by Studio
Video Games

Features
Collector Series DVDs
Easter Egg Database
Interviews
DVD Talk Radio
Feature Articles

Columns
Anime Talk
DVD Savant
Horror DVDs
The M.O.D. Squad
Art House
HD Talk
Silent DVD

discussion forum
DVD Talk Forum

Resources
DVD Price Search
Customer Service #'s
RCE Info
Links

Columns




I, Vampire: Trilogy of Blood

Koch Vision // Unrated // September 5, 2006
List Price: $14.98 [Buy now and save at Amazon]

Review by Scott Weinberg | posted November 4, 2006 | E-mail the Author
The Movie

I knew there was something familiar about this ridiculous little I, Vampire DVD. Although I was certain I'd never seen the anthology before, the first story felt like... wait, it's just a bunch of scenes from one of the Subspecies movies! What gives?? So I did a little research, and thanks to the fine insights offered at the illustrious DVDVerdict.com, I was able to figure out what the hell was going on with I, Vampire: Trilogy of Blood: It's nothing more than a sloppy collection of clips from Subspecies 4: Bloodstorm, Vampire Resurrection and The Vampire Journals. So if you're a ravenous schlock-hound who somehow happens to own all those movies, only to purchase a copy of I, Vampire: Trilogy of Blood, well, I bet you'd be pretty pissed about it.

For what it's worth (which ain't much, considering we're talking about 30-minute versions of movies that sucked when they were feature-length), here's what the mini-movies consist of:

Spawn of Hell is about an evil vampire who feasts on necks while dangling the promise of "the bloodstone" in front of a very devious priest. Or maybe he was a doctor.

From the Grave is about a not-so-evil vampire who rediscovers a long lost love and must contend with her violent ex-husband and her snooping ol' auntie. Imagine a really bad Lifetime movie mixed with a really bad vampire movie.

Undead Evil is about a piano-loving vampire who woos and seduces a (very) sexy young musician as a whiny hero muddles through the background. This story is particularly choppy, and the story wouldn't be interesting even if told in flawless fashion.

So what else can I add? I, Vampire is a collection of semi-random scenes culled from three fairly rotten vampire movies. The project doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, frankly, because I can't see the I, Vampire DVDs flying off the shelves anytime soon. But I guess it's easier to recycle and re-package the schlock than it is to produce fresh piles of it.

Either way, don't get burned. Even if you happen to like the three movies that were cannibalized here, I doubt pretty highly that you'd enjoy these miniature versions.

The DVD

Video: A fairly colorful fullscreen transfer. Nothing that could salvage this mess though.

Audio: Tinny and uninspired 2.0 all the way.

Extras: Trailers for a few more recycled trilogies. Yuck.

Final Thoughts

Even if I hadn't learned the truth about this anthology, the thing's a huge screaming bore all the way. There's some half-decent gore delivered in a few small doses, but there's nothing here that could be mistaken for "good storytelling." Not even close.

Buy from Amazon.com

C O N T E N T

V I D E O

A U D I O

E X T R A S

R E P L A Y

A D V I C E
Skip It

E - M A I L
this review to a friend
Popular Reviews
1. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (Paramount Presents)


Sponsored Links
Sponsored Links