Gene Simmons, founding member and blood spurting bass player for KISS, is one of the most recognizable rock personalities of all time even without his trademark make up on. The self-proclaimed god of thunder and rock n roll has managed to get his grim visage plastered onto comic books, posters, clothes, and worked into video games, action figures – you name it, Gene's found a way to get KISS' trademark onto it. The guy is an unabashed merchandising whore and, as KISS fans have known for years now, he'll do anything to make a buck. With that said, it makes sense that Gene would jump on the reality show bandwagon. After all, if Ozzy can hit gold by letting cameras into his home to record the day to day high jinks of his bloated, perma-fried self, why shouldn't Gene? Interestingly enough, however, the Simmons' family differs from the Osbourne tribe in pretty much every way you can imagine.

Family Jewels follows Gene as he and his girlfriend of over two decades, Shannon Tweed (former Playmate and star of Hot Dog The Movie!) try to raise their two kids, sixteen your old Nick and thirteen year old Sophie, while still maintaining a romantic relationship and individual careers. Gene is still very much the brains behind the KISS marketing machine and this eats up a lot of his time, whereas Shannon, who still pops up in TV and film work from time to time, seems to spend more time goofing off with her older sister Tracy and shopping than anything else. Nick is trying to get his own musical career off of the ground, whereas Sophie is starting to spread her wings a bit and is dating a guy she (presumably) goes to school with much to her father's dismay. We see the family dog (who Gene periodically talks to) look a little preturbed when Gene walks through the house in full on KISS uniform and we learn that the family cat is named Garfield. We also see that despite their own quirks and sometimes selfish behavior, that Gene and Shannon have done their best to raise their kids properly and that they genuinely do all care about one another. Their celebrity status obviously puts them in their own little world (Gene apparantly carries around a wad of cash with him so that when he runs into other vehicles – which seems to be fairly regular occurance from the sounds of things – he can simply pay off the other driver) but they're still human.

Over the thirteen episodes that make up the complete first season of the show (they each run roughly twenty-two minutes in length for those who like to know such things) we see high points and low points for each of the four central characters in the family. We learn that Gene is maybe a little too involved in his son's band for their own good and that despite his genuine intentions, maybe they don't want his help as much as he wants to give it to them. We learn that Gene is a horrible driver, and that he's not particularly skilled when it comes to housework or giving the family dog a bath. We see Sophie doll herself up and successfully pass herself off as an adult to attend a fashion show with her mom only to stick out her tongue on national TV, just like dad would have done. In between bits and pieces, the show sits Gene on the couch with another family member for some good natured ribbing and commentary.

It's interesting to see the dynamic that exists between Gene and Shannon. He's vowed to never get married, but they've been together for over two decades now. There's obviously a part of her that wants a ring on her finger and on his, as you'll see when she sabotages him with a phony wedding as a surprise on her birthday, but Gene just won't budge on that issue it would seem. At one point a fan convinces him to attend her wedding, to give her away to her fiance as a surprise to him, and Gene actually stops the ceremony (in one of many obviously staged bits that occur throughout the show) to make sure that he knows what he's doing before saying I do. One would imagine that if Gene weren't monogamous when the two first hooked up that he is now, if only for the sake of his kids and out of respect to Shannon. He likes to play with other girls, as we see when he has a bikini car wash and when he hits Vegas to help open the Hooter's Casino, but it doesn't look like he does much more than that these days.

The show, aside from offering some odd insight into the world of Gene Simmons, is usually pretty humorous. It's obvious that a lot of work has gone into the editing of the series to trim the fat from various vignettes so in that respect it is paced quite well. Some episodes are more interesting and funnier than others (the first episode is one of the weaker in the run, don't let it dismay you – they get better) and it's fun to see how normal Gene and his family are most of the time, even if he'd probably prefer we always see him as the non-stop rock star god that he pretends to be on stage.