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Scorpion King, The (HD DVD)
Universal // PG-13 // December 19, 2006 // Region 0
List Price: $34.98 [Buy now and save at Amazon]
Okay, in one corner, you have The Scorpion King, a big, dumb action flick starring a wrestler who's credited under his stage name. It's a prequel to The Mummy Returns, which is a sequel to The Mummy, which is a remake of a classic Universal monster movie whose 75th birthday is right around the next bend. In the other corner, you have me, a dweeby Internet reviewer who leaps at any chance to scribble down snarky, sarcastic jabs at easy targets. Only as it turns out, I kinda liked The Scorpion King. I'm not about to belt out 
four paragraphs about artistic merit or anything -- again, it's a remake's sequel's prequel starring a wrestler whose first name is "The" -- but The Scorpion King is exactly the kind of movie it sets out to be, and that has to count for something.
First off, The Scorpion King is a prequel to The Mummy Returns in the same way that Mork and Mindy was a spin-off of Happy Days: a completely peripheral character takes center stage, and you can fully appreciate one without ever giving the other so much as a passing glance. I guess Universal's goal was to set up another franchise in the wake of The Mummy's success, so The Scorpion King doesn't even directly lead into anything that happens in the other flicks. If you haven't seen The Mummy Returns, you're not missing anything, and you can take that a couple different ways.
I'm not big on writing plot summaries that read like "...and then the despot Memnon did slay Jesup, brother of Mathayus, rending the future Scorpion King the last of the Akkadians", so I'll recap the movie using my own character names. King Bad Guy (Steven Brand) has decimated every kingdom that dared to stand in his way, relying on the premonitions of the virginal sorceress Love Interest (Kelly Hu) as his key to victory. The tattered remnants of these wars use the last of their treasures to hire the few surviving members of a race of assassins. Kill the sorceress -- save the world. As
skilled as they are, one quickly falls, The Rock is captured, and his brother is murdered by King Bad Guy before his eyes. Before The Rock can suffer a similar fate, Mystical Love Interest insists that the assassin be freed. King Bad Guy goes along with it, but only because he has a death trap in mind that can sidestep destiny...but we're still just fifteen minutes into the movie, so he gets free, finds himself a plucky comic sidekick, invades King Bad Guy's fortress, makes off with Mystical Love Interest, there are chases, fights, tense reunions, a climactic battle...you get the idea.
Sure, the plot's generic, and acting's kinda beside the point. The Rock does alright in his first starring role; he has the physicality and presence of a Big Action Star, but he over-Schwarzeneggers his smirking one-liners, and he goes the Kevin Costner route of not even bothering to sound like...whatever people sounded like a few thousand years ago. Still -- the battle sequences are spectacularly choreographed, they're reined in so that they're not cartoonishly over-the-top (more Indiana Jones than Pirates of the Caribbean), the action comes at a steady enough clip that the movie never drags throughout its lean hour and a half runtime, it doesn't take itself too seriously, there are scores of scantily-clad women... I mean, I couldn't type "if you see one movie this year, make sure it's...The Scorpion King!" with a straight face, but Chuck Russell and company set out to make a straight-ahead, fun, mindless action/adventure flick, and they did.
Video: Though not quite reference quality, this 2.39:1 high-def presentation of The Scorpion King is still exceptional. Given its ancient desert setting, the palette is heavy on weathered yellows and browns, but colors are bold and vibrant when the movie calls for it. Texture and fine detail are equally robust, and its strongest moments are as deeply impressive as anything I've seen in high definition. There isn't a trace of artifacting even in the movie's most challenging sequences; a battle with flaming swords in the climax undoubtedly would've devolved into a blocky mess on the high-def channels on cable and satellite, but it emerges without a hitch on HD DVD. A couple of tiny flecks pop up intermittently, and a handful of shots are a bit on the soft side, but those are hardly any cause for concern. One of the better looking HD DVDs out there at the moment.
Like the overwhelming majority of Universal's releases these days, The Scorpion King is being issued on a combo disc: HD DVD on one side and a standard definition version
playable in any traditional DVD player on the other. The Scorpion King only has a single layer on the HD DVD side of the disc, but considering the short length of the movie and the easier-to-compress scope aspect ratio, I doubt the lack of a second layer makes much of a difference.
Audio: The Scorpion King's Dolby Digital Plus 5.1 audio is decent enough but falls short of the best the format has to offer. There's nothing I can point to as an outright flaw, but to my ears, it sounds more like a really nice DVD than a bombastic action flick on HD DVD. The mix doesn't have that substantial leap in clarity to set it apart from the previous release, and it can be kind of timid when it comes to doling out the low frequency effects. Fistfights and the sounds of metal piercing flesh are accompanied by a muscular, meaty thud, and a few other scattered effects coax a healthy rumble from the subwoofer, but The Scorpion King just doesn't have the sort of devastatingly thunderous roar I'd expect from such a recent big-budget action movie. Surround use is solid though, with a couple of standout sequences making the most of all of the channels on-hand: the skittering of thousands of flesh-eating red ants, streams of cascading sand in an underground brawl, and the bustle of the streets of Gomorrah, to rattle off a few.
Fans of the movie should be satisfied with the audio on this HD DVD, but it's not as impressive as it probably should've been. Other audio options include a six-channel dub in French as well as subtitles in English and Spanish.
Supplements: The only extra on both sides of this combo disc is an audio commentary with director Chuck Russell. It's a very chatty, screen-specific track, heavy on information on pretty much every aspect of production. It's a bit on the dry side, light on the sorts of wacky stories many directors weave into their commentaries, and too generous with praise, but it's a solid, average commentary track. All of The Scorpion King's
other extras are dumped on the DVD side of the disc. The Rock sounds amped up for his audio commentary, but that enthusiasm doesn't really translate to him...y'know, saying anything. He tosses out a few funny stories in between the backpatting and chasms of silence, but it really would've been better segmented into an interview or spliced into Russell's commentary. Clicking on an on-screen icon that pops up periodically hops to video footage of The Rock recording his commentary. I'd normally ignore that sort of thing, but some of The Rock's comments can only be accessed by viewing those clips, which I'd guess is why this track isn't on the HD DVD side.
A set of extended/alternate versions of scenes from the movie can either be viewed on their own or in the proper place mid-movie courtesy of extended branching. The footage is non-anamorphic, letterboxed, and awfully rough looking, so it's not exactly seamless, but...still, it's nice to have that option.
The barrage of short featurettes includes a 'making of' promotional EPK (15 min.), a brief piece about the locations and set design (3.5 min.), the challenges and execution behind the elaborate fight choreography (6 min.), the good-natured friendship-slash-rivalry between The Rock and Michael Clarke Duncan (4 min.), a few quick comments about working with the many animals in the film, particularly The Rock's camel (3 min.), and some notes and before/after shots of the digital effects work for the CG cobra and fire ants (4 min.).
The extras are rounded out by a standard issue outtakes reel, a music video for Godsmack's "I Stand Alone", and a set of text-based notes on a possible real-life 'Scorpion King'.
Conclusion: I dunno. I liked The Scorpion King, but in an okay-way-to-kill-90-minutes-on-a-lazy-Sunday-at-2-PM kind of way, not so much that it's worth shelling out twenty five bucks to own forever and ever, amen. Still, it's an okay movie on a nice looking HD DVD with a few extras to keep fans busy for a while. Recommended 'cause it's good for what it is; I'm not actually recommending that you make a beeline for Circuit City, credit card in hand.
four paragraphs about artistic merit or anything -- again, it's a remake's sequel's prequel starring a wrestler whose first name is "The" -- but The Scorpion King is exactly the kind of movie it sets out to be, and that has to count for something. First off, The Scorpion King is a prequel to The Mummy Returns in the same way that Mork and Mindy was a spin-off of Happy Days: a completely peripheral character takes center stage, and you can fully appreciate one without ever giving the other so much as a passing glance. I guess Universal's goal was to set up another franchise in the wake of The Mummy's success, so The Scorpion King doesn't even directly lead into anything that happens in the other flicks. If you haven't seen The Mummy Returns, you're not missing anything, and you can take that a couple different ways.
I'm not big on writing plot summaries that read like "...and then the despot Memnon did slay Jesup, brother of Mathayus, rending the future Scorpion King the last of the Akkadians", so I'll recap the movie using my own character names. King Bad Guy (Steven Brand) has decimated every kingdom that dared to stand in his way, relying on the premonitions of the virginal sorceress Love Interest (Kelly Hu) as his key to victory. The tattered remnants of these wars use the last of their treasures to hire the few surviving members of a race of assassins. Kill the sorceress -- save the world. As
skilled as they are, one quickly falls, The Rock is captured, and his brother is murdered by King Bad Guy before his eyes. Before The Rock can suffer a similar fate, Mystical Love Interest insists that the assassin be freed. King Bad Guy goes along with it, but only because he has a death trap in mind that can sidestep destiny...but we're still just fifteen minutes into the movie, so he gets free, finds himself a plucky comic sidekick, invades King Bad Guy's fortress, makes off with Mystical Love Interest, there are chases, fights, tense reunions, a climactic battle...you get the idea. Sure, the plot's generic, and acting's kinda beside the point. The Rock does alright in his first starring role; he has the physicality and presence of a Big Action Star, but he over-Schwarzeneggers his smirking one-liners, and he goes the Kevin Costner route of not even bothering to sound like...whatever people sounded like a few thousand years ago. Still -- the battle sequences are spectacularly choreographed, they're reined in so that they're not cartoonishly over-the-top (more Indiana Jones than Pirates of the Caribbean), the action comes at a steady enough clip that the movie never drags throughout its lean hour and a half runtime, it doesn't take itself too seriously, there are scores of scantily-clad women... I mean, I couldn't type "if you see one movie this year, make sure it's...The Scorpion King!" with a straight face, but Chuck Russell and company set out to make a straight-ahead, fun, mindless action/adventure flick, and they did.
Video: Though not quite reference quality, this 2.39:1 high-def presentation of The Scorpion King is still exceptional. Given its ancient desert setting, the palette is heavy on weathered yellows and browns, but colors are bold and vibrant when the movie calls for it. Texture and fine detail are equally robust, and its strongest moments are as deeply impressive as anything I've seen in high definition. There isn't a trace of artifacting even in the movie's most challenging sequences; a battle with flaming swords in the climax undoubtedly would've devolved into a blocky mess on the high-def channels on cable and satellite, but it emerges without a hitch on HD DVD. A couple of tiny flecks pop up intermittently, and a handful of shots are a bit on the soft side, but those are hardly any cause for concern. One of the better looking HD DVDs out there at the moment.
Like the overwhelming majority of Universal's releases these days, The Scorpion King is being issued on a combo disc: HD DVD on one side and a standard definition version
playable in any traditional DVD player on the other. The Scorpion King only has a single layer on the HD DVD side of the disc, but considering the short length of the movie and the easier-to-compress scope aspect ratio, I doubt the lack of a second layer makes much of a difference. Audio: The Scorpion King's Dolby Digital Plus 5.1 audio is decent enough but falls short of the best the format has to offer. There's nothing I can point to as an outright flaw, but to my ears, it sounds more like a really nice DVD than a bombastic action flick on HD DVD. The mix doesn't have that substantial leap in clarity to set it apart from the previous release, and it can be kind of timid when it comes to doling out the low frequency effects. Fistfights and the sounds of metal piercing flesh are accompanied by a muscular, meaty thud, and a few other scattered effects coax a healthy rumble from the subwoofer, but The Scorpion King just doesn't have the sort of devastatingly thunderous roar I'd expect from such a recent big-budget action movie. Surround use is solid though, with a couple of standout sequences making the most of all of the channels on-hand: the skittering of thousands of flesh-eating red ants, streams of cascading sand in an underground brawl, and the bustle of the streets of Gomorrah, to rattle off a few.
Fans of the movie should be satisfied with the audio on this HD DVD, but it's not as impressive as it probably should've been. Other audio options include a six-channel dub in French as well as subtitles in English and Spanish.
Supplements: The only extra on both sides of this combo disc is an audio commentary with director Chuck Russell. It's a very chatty, screen-specific track, heavy on information on pretty much every aspect of production. It's a bit on the dry side, light on the sorts of wacky stories many directors weave into their commentaries, and too generous with praise, but it's a solid, average commentary track. All of The Scorpion King's
other extras are dumped on the DVD side of the disc. The Rock sounds amped up for his audio commentary, but that enthusiasm doesn't really translate to him...y'know, saying anything. He tosses out a few funny stories in between the backpatting and chasms of silence, but it really would've been better segmented into an interview or spliced into Russell's commentary. Clicking on an on-screen icon that pops up periodically hops to video footage of The Rock recording his commentary. I'd normally ignore that sort of thing, but some of The Rock's comments can only be accessed by viewing those clips, which I'd guess is why this track isn't on the HD DVD side. A set of extended/alternate versions of scenes from the movie can either be viewed on their own or in the proper place mid-movie courtesy of extended branching. The footage is non-anamorphic, letterboxed, and awfully rough looking, so it's not exactly seamless, but...still, it's nice to have that option.
The barrage of short featurettes includes a 'making of' promotional EPK (15 min.), a brief piece about the locations and set design (3.5 min.), the challenges and execution behind the elaborate fight choreography (6 min.), the good-natured friendship-slash-rivalry between The Rock and Michael Clarke Duncan (4 min.), a few quick comments about working with the many animals in the film, particularly The Rock's camel (3 min.), and some notes and before/after shots of the digital effects work for the CG cobra and fire ants (4 min.).
The extras are rounded out by a standard issue outtakes reel, a music video for Godsmack's "I Stand Alone", and a set of text-based notes on a possible real-life 'Scorpion King'.
Conclusion: I dunno. I liked The Scorpion King, but in an okay-way-to-kill-90-minutes-on-a-lazy-Sunday-at-2-PM kind of way, not so much that it's worth shelling out twenty five bucks to own forever and ever, amen. Still, it's an okay movie on a nice looking HD DVD with a few extras to keep fans busy for a while. Recommended 'cause it's good for what it is; I'm not actually recommending that you make a beeline for Circuit City, credit card in hand.
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