Geared towards the latent 13-year-old in every male, Crank doesn't unfold so much as it explodes off the screen, careening from one scene to the next, bursting forth in barely 90 minutes. Sturdy action everyman Jason Statham is the anchor which keeps Crank from sailing off into B-movie crapdom; call Crank brainless, sexist and more than a little callow, but you can't say it's not a hell of a lot of mindless fun -- bouncing in and out of multiplexes in summer 2006, this restless slam-bang actioner arrives on DVD to annihilate the winter doldrums.

Directed and written by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor (both of whom make their directorial/screenwriting debuts here), Crank is an exercise in overblown simplicity -- the goofily named assassin Chev Chelios (Statham) awakens in his apartment, having just been poisoned by his rival Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo) with a malicious dose of some mysterious drug known as "the Beijing cocktail." With blurred vision, leaden movement and a weak feeling, Chev learns he's got little time left before "the Beijing cocktail" renders him dead, his heart stopped by the lethal mixture. His black market doctor, Miles (a wonderfully loose Dwight Yoakam), prescribes no end of drugs, deeds and deadlines for Chev -- from shocking himself with a crash cart to injecting heavy doses of epinephrine, the dying assassin flits from one source of adrenaline to another, keeping his heart rate up in an effort to prolong his life.

You can see where Crank involves a hefty suspension of disbelief (the apex - or nadir, depending on your point of view - has to be when Chev indulges in a little public indecency with his brainless girlfriend Eve, a role which Amy Smart might regret having taken in a few years' time), but once you've accepted that Neveldine and Taylor aren't interested in a weighty exploration of life and death, but rather cramming as much action into an impossibly tight frame as humanly possible, you're in for one blisteringly fun ride. Devoid of any truly jaw-dropping sequences, save possibly for the maniacally over-the-top finale, Crank is all about forward momentum, keeping things popping and ratcheting up the delirium almost to the breaking point. It's the kind of flick that finds our hero on the receiving end of a blow-job while firing endless rounds of ammo out the back of a destroyed car during a high-speed chase; if that sentence doesn't rouse the latent teenager in you, then you should probably pass this movie by.

It's no accident that Crank's title screen looks like a vintage video game -- logic and common sense are out the window before the movie hits the 10-minute mark; if you hop on board, you're guaranteed one of the more deranged mainstream action-thrillers to come down the pike in some time. Brainless, bloody and borderline idiotic, Crank will still leave you dazed and amused.

The Video:

Ignore the DVD case which touts a 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer -- Crank is presented in its correct, original theatrical aspect ratio of 1.85:1 on this anamorphically enhanced disc. Given that Crank subscribes to the Ginsu school of visuals, it's a wonder that the film looks as solid as it does; there's a few instances of high contrast and grain, but those are likely by design. Just don't sit too close to the screen - you might develop a twitch.

Matching the image step for step is the wildly immersive Dolby Digital 5.1 EX track that burbles, booms and blends aggressive rock songs into a kinetic soundfield, firmly ensconcing the viewer inside Chev Chelios's chemical-addled brain. It's a trippy, seamless experience that will have surround systems dazed and delighted. A Dolby 2.0 stereo track is included, as are optional English and Spanish subtitles.

Befitting the irreverent, brainless action-thriller they accompany, the selection of supplements for Crank have an appropriately cheeky tone: there's the "family-friendly" audio option, which retains the gory violence, but dubs in often hilarious replacements for the profanity, with an 18 second introduction from the directors, who call this the "TV version"; a nifty, if somewhat stilted feature titled "Crank'd Out Mode" overlays a screen featuring Neveldine and Taylor, a handful of producers, DP Adam Biddle, Statham, Cantillo, the SFX designer, the stunt coordinator and actor Efren Ramirez contributing a running commentary while behind-the-scenes clips play over their comments. It's a neat conflation of featurette and commentary track, with the added bonus of not having to leave the film. I don't know if Crank really utilizes the concept to its fullest extent, but it's one I'd like to see other films explore. Also on board is a music video for David Rolas's "Adrenalina," with trailers for Saw III, The Punisher: Extended Cut, Employee of the Month, Peaceful Warrior, Farce of the Penguins, The Invincible Iron Man and the Crank soundtrack round out the disc .

It's no accident that Crank's title screen looks like a vintage video game -- logic and common sense are out the window before the movie hits the 10-minute mark; if you hop on board, you're guaranteed one of the more deranged mainstream action-thrillers to come down the pike in some time. Recommended.