On the back of the DVD hardcase for PBS Kids' Teletubbies 10: Time to Dance! , a collection of three, never-before-seen (on American TV) episodes of the educational British preschool series, there's a large piece of text at the bottom, addressed to parents buying this disc. The message, in a nutshell, tells parents that the Teletubbies are popular with kids all over the world, but that "parents often wonder why," and that there's a special segment included on this disc, Understanding Teletubbies, to help parents come around on the Teletubbies. If a kids' show has to print a defense of the series on the back of a DVD case, stating that, "No, seriously, we're really okay for your kids!", as well as including a special bonus segment on the disc to bring you, the parent, around to that viewpoint, something is wrong.

Now, don't start the emails. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the Teletubbies themselves. I'm not one of those people who think they're evil or purveyors of a secret gay agenda or any of that other ridiculous nonsense. As for the show itself, it's basically innocuous - and entirely annoying - but I don't think it's going to harm its intended audience in any way. I always found the show (the few times I've caught it over the years) initially intriguing (and rather bizarre) due to its production design and its rigid adherence to a repetitious format, but I never felt it was a negative influence on its young viewers (as for the adults that watch it on a regular basis...).

What does bother me about the show is what bothered me from its start (on PBS), perfectly illustrated on the back of the DVD hardcase for Teletubbies 10: Time to Dance!: everyone's rather feverish insistence that the Teletubbies isn't an entertainment show, but an educational tool for young children. Now I'm not a cognitive psychologist or a child development specialist or any of those other professionals that most people would be hard pressed to define or describe, but that's just the point. Why is it so important for the creators of this show, as well as the networks that carry it, that the series be perceived as educational? And why are they often on the defense for that opinion? They must be, if after ten years (the series was started in 1997) they still need to put explanations on the back of DVD covers.

There was a fair amount of ink put out when PBS acquired the Teletubbies, and if I remember correctly, most of it was negative. The feeling was, PBS, somehow perceived as a bastion of perfect, commercially unsullied children's program (that's a hoot), the home of Sesame Street and Mister Rogers, was stooping to acquire the Teletubbies. Critics pointed out that PBS' kids lineup was fairly low in the TV ratings, and that even more distressing, they were getting killed out in the department stores with their product tie-ins losing out to networks like Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. Critics (who should have known better) snorted from above and claimed that PBS was somehow inviolate from economic concerns, and that airing the Teletubbies was a crass, obvious move to make some bucks and to raise their profiles in the highly lucrative children's TV market.

Well, the critics were right. It was a move on PBS' part (a network, by the way, that gets a ton of federal money to bring you the Teletubbies) to make money, and it worked. For years, their merchandising brought in millions to PBS' coffers. And frankly, I don't begrudge them a penny of it. That's American TV and American business. If you can make a buck, do it. But with that acquisition came a price, and that's the bad taste left in everybody's mouth when PBS and other "experts" go out of their way to declare the show education first, and entertainment second. Is the Teletubbies educational? Perhaps. Again, I'm not an expert. But if the show is designed in such a way that the creators and the distributors have to constantly defend it; maybe it's not so self-evident to non-experts - in other words, 99.9 percent of the rest of us.

As a strictly entertainment show for preschoolers, I don't have a problem with the Teletubbies. They're cute and odd looking, and it's obvious that kids are drawn to them. They inhabit this strange, Orwellian world where Victorian-looking "voice trumpets" rise creakily out of the manicured, fake grounds (where the plastic flowers talk and the bunnies look suspiciously tethered to their camera marks), telling them when it's time to show a movie (on their tummies) or when it's time to go to bed. The Teletubbies' little abdomen TV screens suggest some future amalgamation of technology and human (or is it inhuman?) physiology - a design feature that really ticked off some critics who felt the show was celebrating kids watching too much TV, to the point of having TVs in their stomachs. Their "Tubbytronic Superdome" house is attractively and imaginatively designed, and further accentuates this rather bizarre, technologically-driven and controlled universe that the Teletubbies inhabit. All of that makes for an initial beguiling viewing experience.

Of course, most adults tire of this innovation after about the first ten minutes (god, that insane, unfocused, constant giggling). And once the rigid repetition of the show's framework kicks in - a repetition that the show's creators and experts say is imperative to the "cognitive and kinesthetic skills necessary to engage young minds - most parents gratefully tune out. One of the hallmarks of the show is the fact that the live-action segments that play out on the Teletubbies' tummies are repeated, in their entirety, at least once, heel to toe. It's an annoying experience for adults (and quite frankly, according to my three-year-old, totally unnecessary. After the organ grinder in the first episode was cued up again, he stated very seriously, "I just watched this," and walked out of the room), with those segments not nearly as engaging as the carefully choreographed artificiality of the Teletubbies environment (on this disc, there's a totally annoying kid who keeps screaming "Bye-bye!" over and over again, along with a little girl who murders a violin).

The inviolate repetition of the show may be deemed necessary by its creators, but parents will immediately tire of it, and I suspect, most children will, too. After my three-year-old started watching it, he had the show down flat - and soon began to lose interest. And he didn't want to watch it the next day. But interestingly, when I asked him if he wanted a Teletubby toy, he went ape (so I guess those cognitive psychologists really earned their dough, huh?). Assessing the show from an educational standpoint is pointless, really, particularly when the official stance of the show is, "Our experts say it's educational, and if you don't believe us, here's a segment illustrating why it is, you dolt." I can't say I like watching a show aimed specifically at one to four-year-olds that employs a baby-talk gibberish that any parent worth his or her salt will tell you is bad for developing talkers. As for the supposedly vaunted "kinesthetic " value of the action on the show, watching the Teletubbies dance around in fast motion, bouncing into things, I was immediately reminded of the old Banana Splits show. They did the exact same thing, only they were getting bonked on the head a lot, with funny sound effects. Kids loved that show, non-socialized and non-educational violence and all, and those original viewers are now designing our computers, performing our surgeries, engineering our airplanes, and teaching our children. They seem to be doing just fine with their early non-educational TV viewing experiences. That's why I crack up when the creators and distributors of the Teletubbies make it sound like a matter or life or death if your child doesn't watch their specially-designed show. If your kids like the Teletubbies, they'll like Teletubbies 10: Time to Dance!. The shows are cute (but annoying), and it won't hurt them in the slightest. But if your kids don't watch the Teletubbies, and they still think SpongeBob is the greatest - they'll do just fine twenty years down the line, as well.

Here are the 3, 21-minute episodes of Teletubbies 10: Time to Dance!:

Music Box
The Teletubbies show a film about an organ grinder, and then discover their own music box.

Dance Along
The Teletubbies dance all day long, show a film about a little girl violinist, and then get dance instruction from Po.

Piano Party
The Teletubbies show a film on a young piano player, and then discover their own piano.

The DVD:

The Video:
The full frame video image for Teletubbies 10: Time to Dance! is sharp and clear, but edge enhancement does crop up.

The Audio:
The Dolby Digital English 2.0 stereo mix is entirely adequate, with strong presence.

The Extras:
There's the aforementioned Understanding Teletubbies (which is humorous to say the least), along with a special Laa-Laa and Po character close-up, as well as some downloadable games and activities for your DVD-ROM drive (the kids weren't interested after watching the show).

Final Thoughts:
Everybody is bending over backward to declare the Teletubbies "educational." That's up for debate, but when you have to strive that hard for ten years, you're probably beating a dead horse. Why not just embrace the Teletubbies' strangeness, celebrate its innovative, bizarre production design, and watch the shekels roll in from the merchandising? The more I hear how "necessary" it is to my child's "cognitive and kinesthetic" development, the more frantically I search for the remote. If your child is a fan of the Teletubbies, they'll no doubt love Teletubbies 10: Time to Dance!. Buy it. But if you're new to the weirdo British children's series, rent first to see if you can take it.