I can't get enough of that cheese! Tanya Roberts' Sheena (1984) is yet another in a long line of camp fests that I've taken a look at and, like many of those films, it doesn't seem to know what a train wreck it really is.

As a young girl, Sheena is orphaned in a fictional African nation (actually Kenya) when her scientist parents are killed by their own stupidity. When no one tries to find her she is taken in by the Zambuli tribe whose Shaman (Elizabeth of Toro) proclaims that she is some sort of golden haired goddess who will protect them when the time comes. Young Sheena grows up to be a buxom beauty with great big breast implants and make-up that never runs (or even needs to be applied), rare commodities in the jungle, to be sure.

For reasons a little too convoluted for this space, Sheena soon finds herself teaming up with New Yorker Vic Casey (cheeseball Ted Wass) in order to stop Prince Otwani (Trevor Thomas) from killing the Zambulis. Wass, of course, falls in love with the occasionally nude Sheena and hopes to win her over with sensitivity and bravery. Regardless of all that, Sheena is a hoot. The film alternates between forehead slapping stupidity and hilariously obvious melodrama.

Director John Guillermin (who directed the equally stupid but much less fun Death on the Nile as well as The Towering Inferno) shows no knack for pacing or timing. The movie just sort of groans on for an incredible two hours without any sense of anticipation or suspense. Still, the combination of Roberts' fancy hair and designer jungle skins with her overly ripe acting makes Sheena an 80's camp classic.

VIDEO:
The anamorphic widescreen video is pretty good. Some scenes appear a little lackluster in terms of sharpness and color saturation but for the most part it looks good. A little dirt is visible but overall this is a fine transfer. There are some beautiful shots of the Kenyan landscape. A fullscreen transfer is available on the flip-side.

AUDIO:
The Dolby 2.0 audio is fine. Nothing spectacular. Subtitles are available in English, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Chinese, Korean, and Thai. The incredibly innappropriate and repititive score should be removable, but, alas, is not.

EXTRAS:
Just trailers for Buddy and Jumanji, which is pretty silly considering those are kids movies. Why include them, because they have animals? Lord forgive me, but a Tanya Roberts commentary would have kicked ass.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Where would the world be without movies like this? Just about the same place, but a little less fun. A marathon of Sheena, Ice Castles, and The Last Dragon might be a little too much for most people, but for a certain special group of people - my kind of people - it is cornball heaven.