The sensation is one of just...utter frustration that someone couldn't have pulled together a halfway decent season out of Dallas - The Complete Eleventh Season, but alas.... The elements are there for one, certainly. The twin tent poles that forever held up the series - J.R.'s maniacal pursuit of total control over Ewing Oil, and the ill-fated romance of Bobby and Pam - have been restructured for a major shake-up prior to the opener of this 1987-1988 season. J.R., having watched his family turn on him as his beloved Ewing Oil was broken up in the tenth season finale, is ready to rise again like a rutting, cheating, oily phoenix out of the smudgy ashes of his once powerful empire. And staying with the charred embers imagery, Pamela, finally blissfully happy with Bobby, smashes headlong into a tanker truck and goes up like a roman candle. How the hell do you blow that set-up?

I've written extensively about Dallas (you can click on Season Five, Season Six, Season Seven, Season Eight, Season Nine, and Season Ten to read my earlier reviews), and I make no bones about being fascinated with its unabashed preoccupation with, and celebration of, American wealth and American sex and American power...and the greater the size and vulgarity of those elements, the crazy better. Featuring the single greatest villain ever created for television (in the guise of utter rat bastard, J.R. Ewing, played brilliantly by Larry Hagman), Dallas, minute for minute, was the best drama on TV in the late 70s and early-to-mid 80s, creating a world of "haves" and "have-mores" who screwed each other over with utter, madcap abandon; an upside-down Dickensonian world where it was always "the best of times" at least financially, while the participants rutted and backstabbed in a morally suspect universe more akin to Dreiser. It makes for endlessly amusing TV, with a solid dramatic core that keeps you coming back for more.

That is, until the producers started screwing around with the fans. Most long-running television shows have one or two arcs of popularity before their inevitable decline, so who knows what Dallas' fate would have been had the producers found a different way of bringing Bobby back from the dead? But there's no denying that their "dream season" experiment, although good for some ratings curiosity from the morbidly-inclined fans, led the way for Dallas' drop in the ratings this 11th season - a decline that was as steep as it was unstoppable. Maybe viewers just had their fill of the Ewings and the Barnes. Maybe it was enough. They got the point, and it was time to move on. Perhaps. But increasingly familiar re-treads of previous season plots, along with the same old tired battlelines drawn (J.R. insults Bobby; Bobby swings at his head - you fill in the season and the lines because they're all the same), did little to stem the tide of ennui that was quickly settling over the series. While the producers tried mightily to inject some balls into this 11th season (J.R. is particularly rough with some women; Sue Ellen finally finds illicit love that empowers her), the viewers already viewed Dallas as passé. When a series turns to feed on itself, farce results. And respect dies. And there's no other way to describe the whole "Bobby shower" plotline, and what followed it.

SPOILERS ALERT!

So in the end, it doesn't really matter that the producers flub the two main storylines in this eleventh season, either, because viewers simply didn't care as much anymore. J.R.'s gritty determination to put Ewing Oil back together again should be a showcase for marvelous Hagman, allowing the character to go from the depths of depression to the heights of viciously kicking his opponents in the balls as his chortles his delight at his reestablished power. That story line potentially provides a reboot of sorts for Dallas, giving the writers a chance to put J.R. in his place, leave him with nothing, and let us watch as he crawls his way back to the top. Unfortunately, this epic journey back from the dead is handled in a most mundane fashion. Why didn't the writers really put J.R. down? I mean, really have him on the floor, gasping for air as everyone he knows and loved - or hated - gives him the toes of their boots? Why didn't they make it hard for J.R. to get back into the game? We hear a lot of characters say he's washed up at the beginning, but we never really believe it because he still has a ton of money and fancy new offices. A few phone calls later, a few dirty deals, and he's seemingly invincible again. There's no build to his comeback, and hence, no enjoyment of his triumph when he does get Ewing Oil back. I've always been a champion of Larry Hagman's performance of J.R. Ewing; I think it's one of the most brilliant pieces of television acting I've ever seen (and the "television" qualifier doesn't dimish it; the medium demands a different set of skills that he has utterly mastered). But here, Hagman is...dispirited, almost. At half speed. He just doesn't have that twinkle behind his eyes that always made J.R. so devilishly attractive/repulsive/hilarious. But then again, one can't blame him considering the paucity of funny one-liners he used to get, nor the ridiculous situations he finds himself in this lurching season.

Pam's departure is handled even more clumsily. Victoria Principal, wanting off the show for good, must have thought it wise to leave when she did when one sees how her character is carted off for the last time. Heavily bandaged from her third-degree burns, an unrecognizable Pam nonetheless is able to scribble a love note to Bobby and her son, Christopher (while keeping the words perfectly spaced) before she decides to abandon her son and husband when she gets a good look at herself after the accident. It's always a little silly (but undeniably fun) to try and decipher or ascribe real-life motives for fictional characters (get out the tin foil hats while I feed my thirty cats), but I find it hard to believe any stalwart Dallas fan believed that Pam would simply abandon her young son in such a cruel fashion (she never even sees him in the hospital). It's so obviously a ploy by the writers and producers to keep the character "open" for Principal should she return (or for recasting if things got desperate), that its development immediately heads into farce territory. It's just, simply, an unbelievable plot twist, and after the "final straw" dream sequence the previous season, viewers weren't mad this time around - just supremely indifferent ("Oh, Pam's wrapped up like a mummy? But she can write a note? And she's leaving her kid because she's scarred now? Uh huh. Is there anything on cable?"). Whether or not you enjoy Principal (I was always a Sue Ellen booster - I like my TV vixens drunk and needy and hot), she was the cornerstone of the series for many female viewers. She provided one-half of the Romeo and Juliet romance of the show, while filling the role of J.R.'s most persistent enemy. When she left, that was it for many female Dallas fans. To top off this indignity, Bobby soon banishes Pam from his thoughts (after a convenient little bar fight), and begins a series of flirtations with several indescribably anonymous women (all except that delicious little minx, April), with absolutely no thought of finding Pam, or pining after her, or even getting a little pissed at her. It's all so...dispirited.

But what's even worse - even criminal in the Dallas universe - is the reliance on a heavy "serious drama" vibe, while giving viewers precious little vicarious fun this go-around. Where's the sense of Dallas delighting in its own broadness and vulgarity and grotesqueness, in wallowing in its own lurid melodrama? Everyone seems to be working up a head of steam, but they're really just going through the motions. The plot lines themselves are solid (if overly familiar), but the motivations behind the characters' actions are often incomprehensible. Again, would Pam really leave Christopher because she's horribly burned? I could see, maybe, her not wanting to see Bobby, but her child, knowing that he'll go through life, not understanding why his beloved mother abandoned him? Why would J.R. suddenly become so naïve that he would think Sue Ellen will give him a divorce so he can marry Kimberly Cryder (Leigh Taylor-Young), the wife of Westar's new chairman (it's great seeing Peyton Place's Taylor-Young in this kind of role, but her character is designed with not a little hint of some kind of mental handicap)? And seriously, did the producers think that fans would delight in seeing Linda Gray and Leigh Taylor-Young reenacting bad Dynasty scenes? Why would Cliff suddenly admit to Miss Ellie that his drunk father, Digger, was all wrong about the Ewings? Even if Digger was wrong, why in the world would the producers take away the one burning motive that propelled the Cliff character: death to the Ewings for what they did to his daddy?

And speaking of Cliff: what's with that pathetic attempt to resurrect the whole Digger Barnes mythology with his new rummy stumblekins, Dandy Dandridge (a subplot that is never believable for a second; fans were bored with that Digger whine years before)? And what about Clayton's "pal-mance" with British fashion model Laurel Ellis? What the hell is that about? It's never adequately explained what either of them get out of their situation together, nor is Annabel Schofield the most "giving" of actresses, if you will (try a bump on a log). Even J.R.'s sexual blackmail of her falls ridiculously flat (has to be one of the most uncomfortable scenes in the whole series). As for Clayton's murder trial...well, there isn't one (what a gip)! And what about Ray and Jenna? I gave up figuring out the Jenna character long ago, but why does Ray have an affair...an hour after Jenna leaves the country? Oh...I know why: because the producers wanted to rip-off Fatal Attraction, that's why (Ray's face just before he's stabbed? Priceless). But the capper this season is the utter neutering (or is it spaying?) of the April Stevens character. Sheree J. Wilson, a hot little number who could banter with the best that Dallas had to offer, is suddenly reduced to a whining drudge this season. Why isn't she in the middle of some schemes? Why isn't she instigating some crap with that 100 million dollars she made off her shares of Ewing Oil? Why isn't she hopping into bed with anything in pants? I'll tell you why: because the producers and writers ruined her character. Now, we have to listen to her kvetch about how she misses doing things for herself now that she's super-rich. Are you kidding? People tuning into Dallas this 11th season didn't want to hear one of the series' best alley cats bellyaching about not being able to do her own laundry. Advice from the poor who want to get a vicarious thrill from Dallas, April: shaddup!

And if the plots were overly familiar again, and the characters motivations were suspect, at best (and fantastical at worst), the new blood introduced this season all bomb spectacularly. Andrew Stevens (seriously, what the hell is up with the way that guy's looks? His creepy kitty-kat eyes give me the whim-whams) inhabits Casey Denault, a totally useless J.R. punching bag that even other characters laugh at (watch some of the vets like J.R.'s secretary Sly, played by honey Deborah Rennard, stifle guffaws with him). Over on the other side of the same bad-acting coin, Richard Gere-clone Jack Scalia has some horny moments with Sue Ellen, but his graveside "breakdown" over his supposedly dead parents is the comic highlight of the season (if I'm gonna have me some Jack Scalia, I'm gonna have me some Tequila & Bonetti, and that's about it). I've already discussed Leigh Taylor-Young (her coming naked-under-a-mink to J.R.'s office, to show him what he missed when he blew the Westar deal, doesn't make much sense...since he already had her several times). And Bobby dates a few new women, all to no avail (is Kay Lloyd the most boring female character ever to show up on Dallas?). If the producers of Dallas were hoping to keep the franchise fresh by introducing this crop of new characters, they miscalculated by a mile. On a slow Friday night in the 1987-1988 season (no other scheduled program that night made the Nielsen Top Thirty), Dallas managed a still-respectable 22nd place for the year, but that was down from 11th the previous season - a precipitous drop. And the following 12th season would find the venerable CBS drama falling even further. Audiences were finally having their fill of the Ewings and the Barnes.

Here are the 30 episodes of the three flipper-disc box set, Dallas - The Complete Eleventh Season, as described on the insert:

DISC ONE: SIDE A

After the Fall: Ewing Rise
Beginning: J.R. starts all over again in the oil business. Perhaps the end: Pam battles life-threatening burns.

After the Fall: Digger Redux
J.R. isn't the only oilman in Dallas who misses his daddy: Cliff befriends an old-timer who reminds him of Digger.

The Son Also Rises
Determined to visit his injured mother, little Christopher heads for Dallas Memorial Hospital.

Gone With the Wind
Sue Ellen takes a business trip with hunky Nicholas Pearce and J.R. takes a step up the slippery oil business ladder.

The Lady Vanishes
When Pam disappears from the hospital, Bobby and Cliff join forces to find out what happened.

DISC ONE: SIDE B

Tough Love
Distraught over losing Pam, Bobby brawls with a barroom full of beered-up cowboys.

Last Tango in Dallas
Just like old times. J.R. hatches a plot against Weststar. Cliff looks for oil where there isn't any.

Mummy's Revenge
Sons and father figures: J.R. comforts Miss Ellie after Clayton's heart attack and Cliff backs Dandy's get-rich-quick dream.

Hustling
Howdy, honey! J.R. knows how to succeed in the oil business: seduce your rival's wife.

Bedtime Stories
Jenna and Ray announce their engagement, J.R. snake oils his way into Kimberly's bed and Cliff gives Dandy the brush-off.

DISC TWO: SIDE A

Lovers and Other Liars
Burned by the people they trust, both Dandy and Sue Ellen retaliate. But only one of them uses a gun.

Brothers and Sons
Only in Dallas: Ray's choice for best man at his wedding is Bobby, the father of his bride's new baby.

Brother, Can You Spare a Child?
War: Casey double-crosses J.R.. Peace: Cliff and Miss Ellie and the Ewing-Barnes feud.

Daddy's Little Darlin'
Kimberly's wealthy daddy will back J.R.'s quest to control Weststar if J.R. ditches Sue Ellen.

It's Me Again
Couples takin' dead aim at trouble: J.R. and Kimberly, Charlie and Randy, Clayton and Laurel.

DISC TWO: SIDE B

Marriage on the Rocks
As Bobby battles Lisa for custody of Christopher, J.R. considers making Sue Ellen the ex-Mrs. Ewing.

Anniversary Waltz
Bobby discovers the skunk (guess who) who's pulling the strings in his heartbreaking custody fight.

Brotherly Love
Bitter enemies again, J.R. and Bobby plot to outmaneuver each other in a bid to restore Ewing Oil.

The Best Laid Plans
J.R. and Kimberly team up against Sue Ellen. Sue Ellen and Bobby join forces against J.R.. It's gonna be fun!

Farlow's Follies
At Southfork, a jealous wife seeks solace in a bottle of booze. And this time the lady isn't Sue Ellen.

DISC THREE: SIDE A

Malice in Dallas
Bobby and Lisa face off in court, April gets tangled up in a murder and Miss Ellie leaves on vacation...alone.

Crime Story
Terrorized by thugs, April considers making a run for it. Clayton falls prey to a blackmailer.

To Have and To Hold
Miss Ellie handles her marital problems with a showdown. Cliff handles his financial problems with a fistful of pills.

Dead Reckoning
Miss Ellie kicks Clayton out of Southfork. And doesn't that just put a big ol' grin on J.R.'s face?

Never Say Never
With Clayton arrested for murder, J.R. sees his chance to make Laurel the next notch on his bedpost.

DISC THREE: SIDE B

Last of the Good Guys
J.R. has evidence that will clear Clayton. Will he go straight to the cops...or use it to his own advantage?

Top Gun
After months of conniving, Weststar is within J.R.'s grasp. But two wronged women have a different idea.

Pillow Talk
Vengeance is theirs: J.R. uses John Ross against Sue Ellen, Cliff plots against J.R. and Connie takes a stab at Ray.

Things Ain't Goin' So Good at Southfork Again
Coming and going. Jenna and Lucy return home, but a furious J.R. vamooses.

The Fat Lady Singeth
It's J.R. vs. everybody as he battles Sue Ellen, Bobby, Jeremy Wendell and, in a hand-to-hand combat, Nicholas Pearce.

The DVD:

The Video:
Yet again, Dallas - The Complete Eleventh Season comes crammed onto three flipper discs, as opposed to previous seasons' five-disc offerings. An additional episode has been added to each side, making for some obvious compression problems, including some shimmering and smearing (interfacing was also a problem). Even on a smaller monitor, these transfers look more akin to VHS copies than digital. As well, as with all the Dallas DVDs I've reviewed, the source materials look quite beat up, with scratches, dirt and some nasty splices here and there. Colors are all over the place, as well. Episodes are hit-and-miss (Farlow's Follies looked particularly pink and washed out), but I suspect Dallas fans understand by now that Warners isn't going to shell out for restorations for these episodes.

The Audio:
The Dolby Digital English mono audio track accurately reflects the original network broadcast presentation. All dialogue is heard cleanly, although hiss is audible (it's minor, though). Subtitles and close-captions are available.

The Extras:
No extras for Dallas - The Complete Eleventh Season, but they have inserted the "Last time on Dallas..." and "Next time on Dallas..." bumpers. However, the run times are still the same (around 47-48 minutes) as previous sets that didn't have these...so, are other scenes cut? Or time compressed? I'll let the Dallas experts shoot me an email on that one.

Final Thoughts:
Dallas - The Complete Eleventh Season lost me when Bobby attempts (feebly, of course) a Waiting for Godot joke in a Dallas bar. That tore it for me. The Dallas I knew and loved was no more. Perhaps the last tolerable season of the series, Dallas - The Complete Eleventh Season vainly throws anything it can possibly think of up against the wall in the hopes that something will stick...only nothing does, and we're left with a distinctly undernourished feeling. We've tasted this warmed-over dish before, and its decidedly lacking. Die-hard Dallas - The Complete Eleventh Season will rent, but I doubt even they'll buy this season. As for the final three seasons, look out....