I distinctly remember begging my parents to take me to see the original live-action "Street Fighter" movie 15 years ago. Eventually one lazy afternoon, my dad gave in and my wish was granted. I enjoyed it at the time, but a few years later, when revisiting it on VHS, I realized what a campy mess it was. 'Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li" is a reboot of the franchise on the big screen and manages to astonish me with its ability to make the Van Damme epic look like high art in comparison.

The DVD features two cuts of the movie, the PG-13 theatrical edition and a new Unrated, Uncut edition. The time difference between the two is around a minute and obviously due to violence, as the version I watched just steps over the hard PG-13 line into soft R territory.

Unlike the over-the-top, muddled, epic first attempt to bring the insanely popular game franchise to the big screen, this foray is directed by Andrzej Barkowiak, a genuinely talented cinematography (Falling Down, Speed, Thirteen Days) whose directorial qualifications here obviously stem from having directed three DMX action classics and the cinematic adaptation of "Doom." Combining video-game movies with martial-arts action is the logical next step. Things are much more low-key this time around, with the story focusing on Chun-Li's (Kristin Kreuk) rise to becoming a martial arts goddess as she takes on M. Bison (Neal McDonough), the man who kidnapped her father years earlier.

Chun-Li is not alone; she seeks the aid of the much older Liu Kang...er...Gen (Robin Shou), a man familiar with Bison's evil ways. Charlie Nash (Chris Klein) is on a parallel path, as an Interpol agent, who has tracked Bison for years. Rounding out the cast of characters from the game franchise is Balrog (Michael Clarke Duncan), Vega (Taboo), who could more accurately be described as a cameo, and an unnamed character that I consider a spoiler (don't get your hopes up, it's no one very notable). To begin to tell you how awful this movie is, I'll start with storytelling itself.

This movie is deadly serious in its story progression and doesn't waste time in pulling out the clichés. Despite Chun-Li watching her father taken away in front of her eyes and the seemingly obvious path of revenge being set up, the story throws us a curve-ball as we fast-forward over a decade with our heroine as a concert pianist (?!). It's not until she receives a mysterious scroll (one of the film's most absurd scenes) that she gets back on track in avenging her father. To do so, she must find Gen, which the scroll conveniently tells her to do, but not before the filmmakers flex some serious dramatic muscle and give us a flashback of events that happened three minutes prior. From there, things actually take on the conventional train, find information, and ultimately confront the villain format.

The true focal points of the film though belong to the performances themselves, as they take a mediocre story and dropkick the overall package down to an insufferable level. Kristin Kreuk has an acting range that is slightly below that of Tara Reid's, so to keep things interesting, a side-plot is introduced and we are treated to a man's man performance by Chris Klein.

Yes, Chris Klein is back from wherever he disappeared to after he was not asked back to the third American Pie film. Gone is the goofy, fun-loving dope of the teen comedy genre; in his place is a rugged (or disheveled, you take your pick), Eastwood channeling dope that suffers from a condition that apparently impairs his ability to act appropriately in most situations. I don't have the words to explain why someone thought a guy like Klein would make a credible action star (fellow American Pie star Sean William Scott proved that in "Bulletproof Monk") and I'm not sure Klein himself knew either. He bumbles through the film, at times seeming to understand the movie is crap, while seconds later shifting into that pseudo-Eastwood impression and selling his lines with the utmost sincerity. It's a performance so odd, I dare recommend renting the movie for it alone.

However, Klein is upstaged by Neal McDonough's accent. McDonough himself is as unremarkable as Kreuk, but his accent is from another world entirely. It's starts out vaguely Irish, moves to a standard American before finally becoming a blend of the two, but only slightly deeper. It continues this pattern throughout the film. Unfortunately, there is no epic confrontation of McDonough's accent with Klein's social ineptness; the results would have been mind shattering.

The only people who seemed to get things right were Robin Shou, playing your standard wise master. He doesn't go over the top, and is actually one of the only genuinely entertaining elements of the film. It doesn't hurt that his fight scenes, albeit brief, aren't full of camera trickery and CGI to hide the lack of skill which plagues the rest of the cast. His big fight scene involves the other truly entertaining aspect of the film, Michael Clarke Duncan. Duncan goes overboard and has fun with his role in a fashion that would have made him right at home in the Van Damme version. This was an easy paycheck and it shows.

You might ask, is there anything redeeming about the movie? Aside from bouts of brief, unintentional humor (mostly Chris Klein and a good portion of the first act), no. It's entirely inconsistent in tone, going from agonizing sincerity, to unintentional comedy, with a few truly twisted scenes thrown in for good measure. These scenes both involve Bison, one involving him using a dead woman as a punching bag, the other showing his ability to perform an unwanted Caesarian section (off-screen, but still disgusting). Since the film's presentation of Bison, like the title character herself, resembles nothing of the video game, the filmmakers must have felt the need to add these sinister moments to remind us he's the villain. McDonough spending the entire runtime in a generic business suit and never once performing a signature Bison move (although after Chun Li's attempt at a Spinning Bird Kick, it was probably for the best), is the capper on a film that doesn't care about its audience or source material. I honestly want to go back and revisit the 1994 version now, to wash away the memory of this abomination.

The movie comes with a 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen presentation, however Fox provided a screener copy for review, so a proper rating cannot be assigned.

The Audio

Like the visual transfer, the audio can also not be accurately reviewed.

The Extras

NOTE: The final retail version of "Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li" is a two-disc set. The second disc, not sent for review contains an animated comic movie titled "Street Fighter: Round One-Fight."

The extras contained on the first disc however, are quite expansive. A commentary for the unrated cut features two producers, actor Neal McDonough, and Chris Klein. It's a good mix of blatant narration of what's going on in the movie and unjustified self-praise. They really act like they put a work of art on film here and the result is almost as unintentionally humorous as the movie itself. There is a section of deleted scenes, the majority of which add nothing to the story, save for the last, which take's Klein's pure absurdity to the next level. The makers continue trying to justify this turd in "Becoming a Street Fighter," your standard talking head, pat-on-the-back piece. The highlights are the actors failing to convince anyone they ever played the games before.

The remainder of the extras consists of two brief featurettes on the character of Chun-Li in the film and the filming of a specific scene, respectively. A trailer for Marvel vs. Capcom 2 (coming to XBLA and PSN soon) shows up and if you bought this DVD serves as a reminder of better things your money could have been spent on. A gallery of production photos, storyboards, and game to screen comparisons rounds out things, with the latter showing just how little the movie had to do with the games. Three previews for other Fox films are included as well.

"Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li" is not worth your time or money with one major caveat emptor. Should the gang at RiffTrax ever decide to record a commentary for this turkey, and I would be shocked if one didn't arrive in a month, then you'll definitely want to either find a dirt cheap used copy or rent this. The level of awfulness unleashed on the screen is right up there with the best of classic MST3K. Skip It.