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Zero Woman: The Final Mission
Media Blasters // Unrated // July 2, 2002
List Price: $29.95 [Buy now and save at Amazon]
The Movie
I'm sure that many of our readers assume that reviewing DVDs and movies is fun. And, it often is. But, occasionally, a movie comes along that is a chore to review, simply because it gives the writer very little to work with. "Zero Woman: Final Mission" is such a film.
So, here we go...
Naoko Iijima stars in "Zero Woman: Final Mission" as Rei, a detective who works for the Section Zero unit of the Tokyo police. While on a joyride with a fellow detective, she witnesses a hit-and-run murder. Upon investigation, it is learned that the driver was Yumi, a rich heiress. Rei soon learns that the investigation is being covered up and that her own boss may be in on the scandal.
And that's it as far as the story goes. "Zero Woman: Final Mission" is part of a series of Japanese films, and because of that, it doesn't waste anytime introducing characters or explaining their motivations. (This being my first "Zero Woman" film, I can't comment on whether or not these explanations exist in the other movies.) It's very clear that this film is meant to exist solely as exploitation, but it definitely fails in that regard. There is very little action here, with only a mild amount of gunplay being shown. And while the entire filmed is tinged with sexuality, there isn't much sex in the film. What is exhibited has a S&M flavor that many viewers won't like.
Which brings me to my next point -- How can a movie which features a tortue dungeon which is overseen by a midget be so bad? (I haven't seen one of those since "Bloodsucking Freaks"!) The answer is that nothing ever happens in this movie. And the things that do happen, occur without any true rhyme or reason. We are treated to shots of Rei practicing drawing her pistol, and of her peering into the camera, and those are the exciting scenes. The non-existent story would have been acceptable is the film could have offered some action, but alas, it doesn't. Director Koji Enokido knows nothing about pacing, and even at a paltry 81 minutes, "Zero Woman: Final Mission" feels as if it will never end.
And to quote Forrest Gump, "That's all I've got to say about that."
Video
"Zero Woman: Final Mission" was (reportedly) shot on 16mm film, and the shortcomings of that medium are clear on this DVD. The image is just slightly letterboxed at approximately 1.50:1 and in not enhanced for 16 x 9 TVs. The image is grainy and shows many defects from the source print. The picture is often soft, and the colors are slightly washed-out at times. There is little video distortion to the image, but artifacting effects are quite noticeable at times.
Audio
For this DVD, "Zero Woman: Final Mission" is accompanied by both the original Japanese dialogue and with a new English dubbed track, both of which are in Dolby Digital mono. The Japansese track offers clear dialogue, with a very slight hiss. Music and sound effects are fine, and the dynamic range is acceptable. The English track is much louder, and there is some slight distortion here. The English subtitles are clear and easy to read.
Extras
The only extra features on this DVD are bonus trailers for other Tokyo Shock titles. The trailers featured are; "Blood", "Wild Criminal", "Fudoh", and "Gonin 2".
If we've learned anything from the "Friday the 13th" films, it's that you can never trust a film that has the word "Final" in the title. But, let's hope that this is truly the Zero Woman's last mission. Still, if you like action films with no action, and sex films that never go beyond teasing, then knock yourself out.
Now, to find something fun to review...
I'm sure that many of our readers assume that reviewing DVDs and movies is fun. And, it often is. But, occasionally, a movie comes along that is a chore to review, simply because it gives the writer very little to work with. "Zero Woman: Final Mission" is such a film.
So, here we go...
Naoko Iijima stars in "Zero Woman: Final Mission" as Rei, a detective who works for the Section Zero unit of the Tokyo police. While on a joyride with a fellow detective, she witnesses a hit-and-run murder. Upon investigation, it is learned that the driver was Yumi, a rich heiress. Rei soon learns that the investigation is being covered up and that her own boss may be in on the scandal.
And that's it as far as the story goes. "Zero Woman: Final Mission" is part of a series of Japanese films, and because of that, it doesn't waste anytime introducing characters or explaining their motivations. (This being my first "Zero Woman" film, I can't comment on whether or not these explanations exist in the other movies.) It's very clear that this film is meant to exist solely as exploitation, but it definitely fails in that regard. There is very little action here, with only a mild amount of gunplay being shown. And while the entire filmed is tinged with sexuality, there isn't much sex in the film. What is exhibited has a S&M flavor that many viewers won't like.
Which brings me to my next point -- How can a movie which features a tortue dungeon which is overseen by a midget be so bad? (I haven't seen one of those since "Bloodsucking Freaks"!) The answer is that nothing ever happens in this movie. And the things that do happen, occur without any true rhyme or reason. We are treated to shots of Rei practicing drawing her pistol, and of her peering into the camera, and those are the exciting scenes. The non-existent story would have been acceptable is the film could have offered some action, but alas, it doesn't. Director Koji Enokido knows nothing about pacing, and even at a paltry 81 minutes, "Zero Woman: Final Mission" feels as if it will never end.
And to quote Forrest Gump, "That's all I've got to say about that."
Video
"Zero Woman: Final Mission" was (reportedly) shot on 16mm film, and the shortcomings of that medium are clear on this DVD. The image is just slightly letterboxed at approximately 1.50:1 and in not enhanced for 16 x 9 TVs. The image is grainy and shows many defects from the source print. The picture is often soft, and the colors are slightly washed-out at times. There is little video distortion to the image, but artifacting effects are quite noticeable at times.
Audio
For this DVD, "Zero Woman: Final Mission" is accompanied by both the original Japanese dialogue and with a new English dubbed track, both of which are in Dolby Digital mono. The Japansese track offers clear dialogue, with a very slight hiss. Music and sound effects are fine, and the dynamic range is acceptable. The English track is much louder, and there is some slight distortion here. The English subtitles are clear and easy to read.
Extras
The only extra features on this DVD are bonus trailers for other Tokyo Shock titles. The trailers featured are; "Blood", "Wild Criminal", "Fudoh", and "Gonin 2".
If we've learned anything from the "Friday the 13th" films, it's that you can never trust a film that has the word "Final" in the title. But, let's hope that this is truly the Zero Woman's last mission. Still, if you like action films with no action, and sex films that never go beyond teasing, then knock yourself out.
Now, to find something fun to review...
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