Short Takes

Hardly anyone hauls off with the INTENTION of making a cult classic, but B-enthusiast William Winckler gives it his best "Booby BOUNCE!" Bill not only wrote, directed and produced this picture, he also straps on legendary drive-in siren Kitten Natividad's high-beam stunt rack to execute her most devastating blow as The Double-D Avenger. It all starts when bar owner Chastity Knott (Natividad) seeks a miraculous breast cancer remedy in the jungles of a foreign land that look an awful lot like the Hollywood Hills with plastic palms and cutaways to sleepy zoo animals. But said treatment amounts, more or less, to banana fellating with the curious side effects of super-human strength and an inescapable longing to don colorful tights. That's a good thing, because a Jimmy Durante-ish strip joint king attempts to horn in on Chastity's booming biz with the aide of his buxom minions -- including Haji of Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Given how gleefully breast obsessed this live action toon is, it's stunning that nary a nekkid nipple graces the screen. Not even from newcomer Sheri Dawn Thomas as Ooga Boobies who, without a doubt, deserves a solo "dildo duel" in the sequel. Whether Winckler's actually got a cult classic here remains to be seen, but CineSchlockers will no doubt salute his effort! No breasts. Two corpses. Bolder flinging. Hypno-navel. Gratuitous Forrest J. Ackerman and Raven De La Croix cameos. Catfighting. Gratuitous urination. Titillating lingerie show. Chastity exclaims, "HOLY HOOTERS! I got super-human strength!" The accompanying commentary's often funnier than the flick as Kitten coos about the size of Tom Selleck's manhood and whines about being unable to SEE in that mask fashioned from a tiny red bra. (2001, 74 mins, Fullframe, DD 2.0, Crew commentary, Photos, Trailer.)