THE FILM:

There is no way I can take Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man seriously, but that's OK. It stars a decaying Mickey Rourke and an uninterested Don Johnson, and Simon Wincer's 1991 film feels like it was shot a decade earlier. The future 1996 Los Angeles setting is kitschy, and the film is full of goofy one-liners and overacting. Rourke and Johnson are tough-as-nails bikers who plan a bank robbery to save their friend's bar. There are henchmen, designer drugs and Bon Jovi on the soundtrack. This is a guilty pleasure for many, but, despite being moderately entertained, I found Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man man a bit dull. Perhaps I forgot to add in the booze?

Harley Davidson (Rourke) and Marlboro (Don Johnson) decide knocking off an armored car is the best way to save their friend's bar from the wrecking ball. They hijack a car, but are surprised to find a new synthetic drug, "Crystal Dream," inside instead of cash. Banker Chance Wilder (Tom Sizemore) gets really mad about losing his dope, and sends waves of assassins after the pair to reclaim his honor. Beat up and broken Davidson squabbles with Marlboro about women, honor and whether or not he should kill the next idiot who steps up to tango. The men are like an old married couple, though the film imagines them Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Acknowledging one's ludicrousness goes a long way in circumventing critiques of subtlety and realism. This movie knows it's stupid, but I still feel like Rourke and Johnson were intensely bored during the shoot. The Looney Tunes violence is funny to a point - the guys continuously fire ammunition and miss every single target - but it's also easy to ignore. At least Sizemore overacts with gusto, and I guarantee he was drunk, hungover or high throughout the shoot. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man is simultaneously a modern western, buddy comedy, and odd, science fiction riff on ‘80s action. With so much going on, it's no surprise the script is weak.

These critiques are probably unfounded, since no one will mistake Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man for high art. Had its leads been a bit more invested in the project, it might have actually earned its cult following. There is enough action and machismo drama to pass the 98 minutes, but just barely. Had Rourke not renewed his career with The Wrestler, he might have been remembered for movies like this. I guess it's time for a serious comeback, Don. This is not necessarily my kind of cheese, but different strokes, right?

THE BLU-RAY:

PICTURE:

The 1.85:1/1080p/AVC-encoded image ain't bad. There is some decent fine-object detail and texture to be found, even if a bit of noise reduction and edge enhancement is baked into the master. Color saturation runs a bit hot, but black levels are decent. The print is in acceptable shape, though there are some blemishes at the bookends. Sharpness and depth vary, but a number of scenes do exhibit decent "HD pop."

SOUND:

The 2.0 DTS-HD Master Audio mix is free from distortion and major flaws, though things get a bit crowded when the effects crank up. Dialogue is hiss-free, and there is some decent depth to the sound field. The music soundtrack is a bit anemic. English subs are available.

EXTRAS:

You get the Theatrical Trailer (1:51/HD) and a Vintage Featurette (6:55/HD) with BTS footage and interviews.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Shout! Factory brings Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man to Blu-ray for the first time. Rent It. That's likely terrible advice, because you won't be able to rent this disc. This guilty pleasure didn't blow me away, but I know many of you feel differently. That said, this is a safe buy for fans; everyone else should try a cheap online rental first.

William lives in Burlington, North Carolina, and looks forward to a Friday-afternoon matinee.