Before reviewing this DVD compilation of the supposed Greatest '70's Cop Shows a brief list is in order.

1. Producer Aaron Spelling, for the most part sucks. Sometimes gloriously so, but still, he sucks.

2. Charlie's Angels is not as fun as you'd imagine. And the only hot one is Jaclyn Smith. OK, I take that back, Farrah is hot, but in that your dad's-new-girlfriend-for-about-one-week-until-she-dumps-him way.

3. S.W.A.T. has to be the single most boring '70s Cop show that ever aired. But it has a magnificent theme tune. And Robert Urich is hot.

4. The Rookie's is patently bizarre. It's like The Warrior's meets Andy Hardy.

5. Starsky and Hutch IS funny. And David Soul is hot.

6. And, deep breath, Police Woman is brilliant. Truly. Why this show is rarely discussed boggles my mind. Angie Dickinson is all woman. Understandably, Aaron Spelling had nothing to do with this show.

So yes, this is a simple and probably somewhat unfair list. I'm basing my opinion on only the first episodes provided in this compilation and, as we know in long-running series, they can improve through the time it takes to work out the kinks. Seinfeld is the best example. S.W.A.T. would later produce a few minor moments of interest and, it was apparently popular. A major motion picture starring Sam Jackson and Colin Farrell was created so, someone up there likes the thing. And of course we all know about the throttle of Charlie's Angels and Starsky and Hutch--I'm just waiting for Police Woman: The Movie starring Michelle Pfeiffer (really, not a bad idea).

But back to the DVD. This is a 5 series compilation of the first episodes of The Greatest '70s Cop Shows. After they're pilots, these are the zingers that got so many of the macramé plant holder folk hooked (though, aside from Police Woman it's hard to think anyone over 25 watched these shows).

The show's range in quality but they all reveal a mutual commonality--though a brilliant era for film and probably the last real sleazy FUN anyone had, the '70s were hard. Hard on people's faces. I don't know if it was the drugs, the clothes, the film stock, the lighting, the jaded post '60s malaise or the surge of swingin' Auto-Focus-esque divorced men, but everyone looks tough and sun-damaged. If you assume someone is 30, they're probably in real life, 20. And 40? Who the hell knows? In their polyester double knits, bad toupees, sweaty urine tinted undershirts, crinkled brows and hairy chests, everyone looks about 50. The '70s was a great time to be an unattractive character actor. You're fat, old and like to wear tight red pants? You've got the part! A guy walking out of seedy porno bookstore could be crime boss number one on S.W.A.T.. No wonder Dennis Franz was in so many Brian De Palma pictures.

First in the collection is Charlie's Angels (1976) which proves amusing off the bat simply for the girl's introductions. Beginning with the mysterious speaker voice Charlie (John Forsythe) dulcet tones "This is the story about three little girls…" and the preceding images of the babes doing their thang, I was excited--partly because I had recently viewed Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle and also for the girls. What will they wear? How much sex will we see? Will Bosley seem as much the closeted homosexual as suspected (he does--and odder, he looks a lot like Tom Arnold). The story (entitled "Hellride") is ludicrous and surprisingly, over-involved. It's not the kind of thing you can just walk into ten minutes later and understand (a mark of all the shows presented which says something good about the general public's attention span in the '70s). Here, a female racecar driver is murdered and Sabrina (Kate Jackson, who's not so plain looking after all) goes undercover to investigate. She assumes the role as a honeyed speedster (in fab white jump suit) facing off with an especially dyke-y and mean gal named Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary is part of a sleazy ring of thieves who are planning a diamond heist. Meanwhile Bosley (David Doyle) and Jill (Farrah Fawcett-Majors who's so of her time you have to love her) go undercover as preacher and preacher's daughter to spread the gospel at the racetrack. As you can imagine, a Christian blonde in extra short Daisy Duke's (uh...like, before Daisy Duke) and a big gay minister proves something of a distraction. Then old school glamorous Kelly (Jaclyn Smith) diverts one of the robbers with drinks and generally looks classier than anyone else in the show. She causes him a DUI, which, is admittedly, an interesting way to screw with someone. So what happens? Some nice shots of racecar driving, oodles of scummy men in horrid suits, and a lot of tease. Where's the jiggle we all remember? And where's the cool '70s gear? Call me crazy, but I thought they're be at least one show-stopping outfit. It's a nice time capsule and self-consciously goofy but not in the so-bad-its-good category. Still, Charlie jabs with an amusingly adult double entendre. When Jill slyly asks him how he threw his back out, he promises he will be "standing erect" soon.

Next on board is S.W.A.T. (1975) a show that was supposed to be "important" but is so damn forced we're bored to tears by the time the actual story rolls around. Its violent (which is fine) and maybe at the time all the guns, S.W.A.T. gear and serious shouts into walkie-talkies thrilled viewers as an exciting portrayal of Joe S.W.A.T. But now the show looks like a Max Fischer production only less thrilling—even the S.W.A.T. truck is lame. Racing off to dismantle some ultra dangerous situation, the boys look like they're driving to a bakery with loaves of steaming bread to deliver: "Watch Out Hondo! It's hot! Repeat! The bread is hot!" In this episode ("The Killing Ground") Officer Jim Street's (the always dependable Robert Urich) partner is killed by two avenging brothers, pissed over their father's death. More police killings prompt Lieutenant Dan Hondo (Steve Forrest) to mantle his elite S.W.A.T. team (all ex-Vietnam War vets) and do some serious T.C.shit.B. Though the show doesn't flinch at violence, is admirably straight-faced and for the most part, decently acted (with what they're working with), it's just not, well…sexy. Aside from Urich (who will prove in later episodes to add that extra dash of lust), it's just so somber. And everyone gets along too well. Where's the sweaty chief who's too old for this shit?

Police Woman (1974) follows and my GOD does this show put every cop show to shame. First off, the opening credits. I had goose bumps. We get a half second silence as the title card, "Police Woman" flashes on screen, then a whirring police siren and a spiral pattern that turns into a full frame of Angie Dickinson pointing a gun. Then the sexy, dramatic theme sweeps over the stylish credits where Angie's in various states of womanhood enhanced with dramatic pause (otherwise known as freeze-frame). She's smiling, she's being attacked, she's dressed as a whore…she's everything. Then, magic happens! A slow-mo to freeze of a brass knuckle fist that is, we guess, about to punch Angie's face before she blows his head off hits home the absolute genius of this dramatic opening. It's what a domestic abuse Public Service Announcement should be. The episode (entitled "The End Game"--these writer's read Samuel Beckett) has Sgt. Suzanne "Pepper" Anderson (Dickinson) first undercover as a prostitute in a very ADULT situation with her partner (kids were most likely, forbidden to watch this show) not because anything is shown, just heavily suggested. These people understand life in all its ugly revelations. They're called to a shooting where a cop's down. When Pepper goes on the scene, the cop dies in her arms. She's almost devastated and, in a terrific moment, morosely opens her filing cabinet, pulls out a crumpled paper cup and pours herself a shot. The other officers observe with that we've-been-there-sister gallows humor, allowing Pepper her time. She even gets a day off (this would stupidly be considered sexist today though Police Woman was a revolutionary show in its day--it still is). The episode gets more intense when four mean, really mean Manson/SLA-like crooks (two men and two women) rob a bank, shoot a teller and grab one as hostage. They rape her and throw her out of a moving car. Then they take a family hostage and rape the mother. One of the criminal women cynically tells a little girl how HARD life is. But in a human moment, asserts how you can get through it. In other words, toughen up little 7-year old bitch. This show wasn't fucking around. Pepper and crew, two funky detectives from the Frank Serpico school and the Rat-Pack-esque Lieutenant Bill Crowly (Earl Holliman) venture to Las Vegas to track down this gang of cold-blooded crims on their armed robbery sprees. Police Woman, the first episode anyway, is well directed, wonderfully acted and gritty. Violence is scary. And though Pepper's tough, she's also vulnerable--not above a good desperate cry once in a while. She's a woman, and she's not trying to be a man. And though she may not be able to strong arm every opponent, she's clever, quick and sensitive enough to get info out of someone in a delicate situation. Who wouldn't share their feelings with Angie Dickinson? Police Woman is of '70s big screen caliber and unlike the other show's presented on this collection, realistically serious. And Dickinson is simply fantastic.

The Rookies (1972) is the least recognizable show but it ran four years. It's also just strange. Part straight cop show, part street cool, its got a young viewpoint of police work that verges on a serious commentary but never quite gets there. The show's premise was three young police rookies and a nurse (played by a pre Angels Kate Jackson) sharing a groovy pad and simultaneously being and not being "the man." In this episode (The Velvet Underground sounding title: "Concrete Valley, Neon Sky") we've got a street gang to deal with. The brass need a hot-shot to hang with the hoods to chill things out but Officer Terry Webster (a great Georg Stanford Brown), the hep cat on the force, isn't interested. He's tired of dealing with those punks. Eager Beaver Officer Willie Gillis (Michael Ontkea of Slap Shot and later, Twin Peaks) excitedly volunteers his help and gets the job. But he's "eaten alive." The very first day he tries to "rap" with the gang members they beat the crap out of him (which results in a huge gash on his neck that you'd think would either kill him or send him to his own organization--the police--but doesn't). Webster and Gillis then team up, beat the guys at basketball (to the supposedly funny Harlem Globetrotters theme song "Sweet Georgia Brown") and argue over effective ways to deal with the mounting gang warfare. It's the square white guy and the funky black guy against creeps who end up double crossing each other. The Rookies fascinates partly because its such an early show and clearly, something new for the television audience. But it's pretty hokey, especially when the gang battle ensues like a half-baked scene from The Warriors or West Side Story. And the gang members look so damn old. Like, in their fucking 40's old. 

Rounding out this compilation is the much loved Starsky and Hutch (1975) a show that's still entertaining and a little softer and a little dumber than you probably remember. Hunky wise-guy brunette Paul Michael Glaser (Starsky) and dreamy stoic blonde David Soul (Hutch or, Hutchinson) do have a certain something that's really never been duplicated on television. Still, in this episode ("Savage Sunday") they appear to be working it through. The rather ridiculous story has two elders sticking a dynamite bomb in their car to blow up City Hall. They're not bad people, they're just sick of the crappy conditions at their...old folks home. Apparently the food sucks. OK… Two petty criminals (one, a balding sweaty mustachioed dude, the other a black guy with tight red pants and a tee shirt adorned with hot-air balloons) steal they're car. The oldsters have admitted their crime after the car's sniped and now it's a security risk. Starsky and Hutch have to find that car, even if it means drilling a dippy stripper (Suzanne Somers guest-starring) for info. Where's Huggy Bear (Antonio Fargas) you ask? He's around, giving his "word on the street" leading the pair to beat two low life's at basketball (to the Harlem Globetrotter's theme song "Sweet Georgia Brown"--wait, that happened on The Rookies too. When Aaron Spelling pictured black people, his head whistled "Sweet Georgia Brown" and if it aint broke...) and run around town in their bitchin' red Torino (which, is one of the greatest cars ever produced and, my car, only, I have a '71). The show has an easy-going feel to it, with the streetwise detectives bantering about things like hot dogs and generally, doing stuff their way (you know, like refusing someone Miranda rights). Damn the department. The unorthodox cool of these guys along with plenty of good car chase sequences that tower over anything you'd see on say, CHIP'S helped the show's popularity. And both leads are fine actors, it's a shame they didn't go on to bigger and better things. A plus here is the show's opening credit sequence which had to have inspired The Beastie Boy's "Sabatoge" video.

Actually, its hard to not think about The Beastie Boy's "Sabatoge" while watching this entire collection. Everything is so of its time. Dated would be the meaner way to put it. But there's a lot of dirty charm here. Placing Police Woman aside as simply excellent, this disc is entertaining as a '70s curio, a sort of pop culture lesson into what made that era tick. Coming out of a time when movies like The French Connection won Best Picture Oscars, even the weakest shows have a grittiness to them that's very up front, very real and heavily suggested. Though the shows (again, aside from Police Woman) are essentially square, you can just imagine what Hutch does in his off time (piles of cocaine). You know Pepper's a nasty drunk with, most likely herpes (didn't you see Dressed to Kill?). Not that I would ever wish that on Angie. And the Angels? Well, its not hard picturing them smoking out with Jack Nicholson at some bacchanalian party thrown by Warren Beatty, returning home the next morning questioning their place in the universe--like the whole boat going round in circles at the end of Arthur Penn's Night Moves. So, I have to appreciate this stuff. I mean, I would would never, ever feel that way watching ER, even if it written into the show. Like, that Croation guy would never get gonorrhea, he'd get AIDS and it would be this huge deal. The '70s would never be that obvious--you just assume everyone had syphilis. Even Aaron Spelling.

Video:
Columbia/Tristar present The Greatest Cop Shows of the '70's in Full Screen (1.33:1) as they were meant to be shown. The shows, all shot on film, are relatively clean, and the transfer looks fine, adequately yellow tinted but sharp and often, colorful. Very few flaws are present save for slight edge enhancement but this isn't the newest Adrian Lyne film, its '70s TV shows, we want the dirty quality intact.

Sound:
The Greatest Cop Shows of the '70's is acceptably presented in English (Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono). The mix sounds fine, though there are some muddled moments (a scene involving an old man and a plate number in Starsky in Hutch is particularly bad) but the dramatic theme songs sound pleasing booming through you stereo (you'll want to buy a compilation of the songs). The music (very wah-wah at times), screeching car sounds, gun shots and screams are all loud and clear though some dialouge could be bettered. When Angie Dickinson says "Officer Down!" you wished it were louder. Still, sound is parcelled out relatively evenly and effectively.

Extras:
The only extra's worth noting are an "After the Show" Cast Bio option that gives you additional text information concerning the later careers of the show's stars. Its interesting to know David Soul recorded record albums. It would be a kick to have language options. I'd love to watch Starsky and Hutch in French.

Final Thoughts:
A fun walk down memory lane for some, a new experience for others, The '70s Greatest Cop Shows is an essential collection for any TV lover. And though many of these shows are bad, they're all fascinating as a pop cultural social study. These aren't the greatest cop show's of the '70s (if so, where's Baretta?) but they're enagaging nonetheless. And of course, Police Woman is a small masterpiece.

Read More Kim Morgan at her blog Sunset Gun