Run Time: 1 Hour 12 Minutes

Deep in the heart of Northern California five martial arts students devoted to their training in Wing Lam kung fu. One of these students Todd Roy in the late nineties managed to come out of the DOT COM boom with a tidy sum of cash. Feeling the inspiration from his training and the enjoyment of his compatriots, Roy joined with his friends at the Lam KWOON School to produce a different kind of martial arts film.

KWOON is a series of short independent films with currently three episodes produced and more in the making. This DVD feature houses the first three episodes of the series. Though the episodes were filmed in descending order with the idea as more were accomplished, they'd all be better at it by the time they reached the pilot episode. However what does that say for the later episodes, which were the initial episodes? Isn't a series supposed to get better as time goes on? Not worse? Just an odd logic to go by, well I guess it works.

Anyways moving along in the review, this feature doesn't really house a streamline story from episode to episode, but rather each episode revolves around the KWOON students getting themselves in and out of all sorts of mythological trouble by means of kung fu.

In episode 2: Death Vs. Kung Fu Car Wash the five students Onassis Sweeps (Onassis Parungao), Nathan Blocks (Nathan Decker), Todd Gar (Todd Roy), Jimmy Chops (Jimmy Lam), and Chuck Numb (Chuck Becker) are working very hard to earn enough money to get sent off to a martial arts tournament by having a car wash. However things go sour as Nate takes a little too much trips to the grocery store with the car wash funds. Needless to say their efforts were naught as they've completed the day with a total of eight dollars. Moving along on the way home Onassis seems to get a little lost in the maze like Californian suburbs. They end up on a construct site where an accident takes place and the car they're in gets crushed by a large beam. Luckily the quintuplet evades death and leaves the accident without a scratch. Unfortunately this evasion gets caught by the ministry of death and they send their newly appointed field agent Mort Ision (Cung Le) to extract their lives. So join the KWOON kids as they face death with their kung fu and crack a few jokes in the process.

In episode 3: Collection Agency mobster Jack Tortorelli (Jack Dougherty) and his bodyguard Don Killjoy (Don Hambey) have hired a small army of martial arts trained experts in the ways of killing to be the muscle in his latest acts of illegitimate business undertakings. Unfortunately for Jack and Don their weapons didn't make it through the airport. Needing them fully armed for action Jack under the guidance of some supernatural power seems to pick the KWOON School to replenish his crew's weapon stock. After four weeks go by, the KWOON School still hasn't received payment from Tortorelli. Onassis's sifu sends him along with Chuck and Todd to act like a collection agency to get the 435 dollars that Tortorelli owes the school. After a lovely 300 mile drive to Fresno and enduring Todd's annoying habits, Onassis and Chuck find themselves fighting for their lives as Tortorelli decides to kill them inside of paying. Check it out as Onassis, Todd, and Chuck fight for their lives against a number of highly trained martial artists.

In episode 4: Mummy Dearest Onassis and Todd accompany Nate to a museum so Nate can work on his history homework. Hear they find themselves at the opening premiere of a long lost Egyptian king lays with a curse to give to any one who dares speak ill of the mummified individual. Unknown to the KWOON kids, they crack jokes and speak of the mummy's bad odors. Well not too long after Todd finds himself at the mercy of the mummy, located in one of the worst places to be found, pants down on the toilet. Poor Todd. Todd eventually gets away from the mummy but finds himself in other trouble. Meanwhile Onassis and Nate have their run in with the mummy, but the mummy steals Onassis's martial arts knowledge from him and forces Nate to take on the oddly blue-eyed demon alone. The story moves along, what will happen to the trio? Can Todd get out of his dilemma? Will Onassis ever learn to fight again? Can Nate protect Onassis from the Mummy and most importantly finish his homework?

The DVD

Spoken Languages: English

Subtitles: none

Mechanics: hidden menus throughout the DVD menus, navigation is fairly easy and straight forward

Video:
This feature is presented in 1.85:1 ratio non-anamorphic widescreen color. The picture quality is fairly good, though the picture is slightly blocky, which most likely heralds from the digital video compression. However it is not too bad, but can be noticed throughout the entire feature. Least to say the picture is not flawless in presentation, but is still very viewable.

Sound:
The audio is presented in English 2.0 Dolby digital stereo surround. The sound quality is fairly good, there doesn't seem to be any real issues. The sound levels remain fairly constant throughout the feature, with no need to readjust volume levels on your television. There is also a commentary track with each episode, during which some dialogue can be difficult to hear. While the feature's audio track presented was good, it's still not great, but fits the bill as average.

Subtitles:
There were no subtitles presented in this feature. There is also no support for closed caption.

Extras:
The extras include trailers, deleted scenes and out takes from each episode. Each episode contains commentary with the thoughts and opinions of the cast. Other features include hidden biographies of various cast members that are hidden throughout the DVD navigation menus. Finally the real beef of the extras include fourteen mini-featurettes. These mini-featurettes include Nate Dancing: which are houses Nate doing his little comical dance, Halloween at Todd's: a funny Halloween gag with hot sauce and a mummy, O does a Demo: Onassis performing at the 2nd New English International Chinese Martial Arts Championships 2002, Meet Pete: a big fan of the show, Pete getting to visit the KWOON headquarters (Todd's house), No Money Marketing: features an unnamed individual sporting different methods to advertise KWOON, like putting KWOON stickers on various products in a grocery store, and so on. Overall the extras included are quite entertaining, comical, and definitely are worth checking out.

Final Thoughts:
There are a couple things about this feature I'm trying understand. For one there's an inside joke with Todd receiving bloody nipples in each episode, which doesn't really seem humorous to me, but if I knew the tale behind it... perhaps things would be different?

One of the slogan used for the series is "It's Like Porno but with Kung Fu instead of Sex". From this interpretation we see that most people watch porno for sex and the analogy holds as most people will check out KWOON to see kung fu. Similar to porno, KWOON houses both bad acting and bad plots, but the real meat of each is respectively sex and kung fu. So while I concur with this notion that both features in the porno genre and KWOON won't be receiving Oscar nominations any time soon, I have to say that while I find the slogan funny, I disagree with the underlying concept of it.

I found that the plot of each episode of KWOON to be pretty bad and the acting wasn't terribly great, but the combination of the two is what makes it enjoyable. Of course add in several ill humored and poorly timed jokes with a talented martial arts cast and you've got yourself KWOON.

So if you asked me a few words to state my opinion about this feature, I'd say it's a delightful mix of martial arts and bad jokes perfect for the youth of society. Anyways I am recommending this title for purchase as it is quite entertaining and full of extra features. If you'd like to try before you buy, you can check out the online episodes in steaming video from their website, KWOON: the Online Web Series.