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May 8, 2005

Re: Brazilian?

Paris Hilton thinks I'm hot. She said so. Honest. That's how she signed off her final House of Wax podcast, anyway. "You're sexy. Bye!" Naturally, I assumed she was speaking to yours truly seeing how she baby-talked my ear off for 40 whole minutes during the last week. Yep, there I was, a bonafide member of the glamouratti -- a pea in Paris' pod posse. Here's what I learned:

Hilton hearts ...

- House of Wax: "This movie is so good and I'm so happy to be in it."

- Ordering mac and cheese at fancy restaurants.

- Contemplating superpowers such as flight or, gasp, invisibility!

- Bling! "I have 2 million dollars of diamonds on. They told me to say that, but it's true."

- Soft-focus quizmeisters: "I love Barbara Walters. She's never looked more beautiful. So did Star Jones. ... I love Diane Sawyer. She's so beautiful and sweet and nice."

- Technology: "I have an iPod. I have a lot of iPods. I love iPods. They're hot."

- Imagining an actual career: "I love animals, so I'd be a veterinarian. Or a school teacher for little kids, because I love kids."

Stuff she's not so hot on ...

- Jolly Rancher-flinging Vancouverans.

- Letterman's badgering: "Some things in life you don't want the whole world to know about."

- Her wax figure at Madame Tussauds. (Icky hair!)

- Over-exuberant fans: "Tell them to stop screaming. It's hurting my ears."

- Not having her bagel delivered in a timely fashion.

- Being asked to introduce 50 Cent's Just a Little Bit video: "Why? I hate that song. ... Can I change it? What about pop music? Britney Spears, I like. [Offered My Prerogative.] That sucked, though. Forget it, I don't even give a shit."

Oh, wait, this is supposed to be about a certain remake, right? Here goes ...

- Tribeca Film Fest premiere: "Everyone in New York City really loved it. Everyone was clapping and screaming. I've never seen a movie get such a reaction. ... It's really scary and people are going to like it."

- Her character: "We're both the same age, basically. We're both sweet, nice girls. We're just from different towns."

- Having a stick jammed through her brainpan: "It's one of the coolest death scenes I've ever seen. It was an awesome way to die."

- Ms. Hilton's final pod pitch: "By the time you hear this, House of Wax will already be open. So, I hope you've already seen it or you're going to, because you're going to love it. Make sure to bring a date there, or a group of friends, and you'll have a fun time."

Guess that about does it. Counted 7 "Hot!" declarations compared to 9 by-name House of Wax plugs. Guess that's equal time according to Paris? Although costar, frequent podcast horner-inner and Hilton galpal-in-training Elisha Cuthbert earnestly wants "Sexual" and/or "Wizard" to be the new "it" identifier.

Whatever you say, Ms. Bauer ...

Posted by G. Noel Gross at May 8, 2005 10:02 PM


thats hot
i love paris hilton
she is likelife size barbiebut even better
if you dont like paris
you suck. donthate her cause she is rich and beautiful. she worked hard to get to where she is now. i love her. read her book
"confessions of an hairess". its really good. its shows the truth
the real side of paris hilton.
you only get to live once and why be so uptight about things. have fun.
the greatest sin inlife is beaing boring.

Posted by: jose at May 9, 2005 11:07 PM

I can't possibly post a comment on that previous comment.

Posted by: Hombre Lobo at May 11, 2005 2:48 AM

oh my goddd. i totally agree with jose. I LOVE PARIS HILTON!!! im her #1 fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhh im obsessed. i'd show you, but you'd have to see my room.

Posted by: tiffany at May 11, 2005 7:58 PM

It's hard not to like any woman who loves kids and animals. I just hope she can find a real man not just another idiot with a camcorder. There are real men out there Paris. Hope you find one who will love you for you and not your beauty and money. Then you can both settle down and love your kids and animals together. Good luck.

Posted by: joeshoe2005 at May 12, 2005 12:53 AM

ditto to both: joeshoe2005 & jose. Paris is so hard NOT to love! She's a beauty w/ brains also. That = a complete pkg. I'm hoping her sister Niki gets some screentime too. she's hot also. Especially w/ her hair black. Gives Lucy Lawless a run for her money! OK, I'd better stop, getting to excited just thinking about it. I love you Paris!
And I wish you all the best in life!

Posted by: RichART1 at May 12, 2005 8:30 AM

She didn't work hard to get where shes at , if her parents didnt have $ , neither would she .

Posted by: Becca at May 12, 2005 8:31 AM

So, let's see...
I count four people here that like Paris, that brings my overall count of people I've met that like her to...four.

I started a round of cheering in the theatre when she got killed in the movie.
It was the best part of the movie.
( For the record, put Ms. Hilton's face next to a dog's ass and I can't tell the difference. )

Posted by: Carl Eakins at May 13, 2005 12:34 AM

Oh my god. I can't believe what I am reading here.

"She's a beauty w/ brains also. That = a complete pkg. " - Yea right. What brains?

Face it. P.H. wouldn't be anywhere if it weren't for her family and their money. She's a waste of flesh.

Posted by: Some Dude at May 18, 2005 8:16 PM

i love paris no matter what anybody else says! she's the shit! and that is what i call HOT!

Posted by: lonzo at May 19, 2005 9:24 AM

I used to be a total Paris Hilton fan, but now she's becoming a press whore. Her fame would last a lot longer if she would stop trying to be everywhere at once!

Posted by: Lindsey at May 25, 2005 11:06 AM

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