Short Takes

More spoof than sequel, this sword and slapstick epic rejoins the adventures of Deathstalker (John Terlesky) who's eased up considerably on his fitness regime and lost his Clairol connection. ANOTHER evil sorcerer (John Lazar) has hijacked the kingdom. But this time its nubile princess (Monique Gabrielle in a riveting duel role) has been CLONED and sent packing while her man-eater double slinks around the palace and takes all her meals in bed. Being the resident hero, it's up to Deathstalker to sort all this out, that is when he isn't being pile-driven by wrestler Queen Kong. CineSchlockers who enjoy that ode to Rocky w...Read the entire review

Short Takes

A blond brute by the name of Deathstalker (Rick Hill) gets henpecked into a heroic quest by a fussy old witch who's all a twitter about the newest evil sorcerer on the block. She's got a whole riddle-addled wrap about the Three Powers of Creation and how Deathstalker should collect them all before supplies run out. First he trudges into a creepy cave to gab with a garish-looking muppet who used to be human 'til he got ala-kazam'd by Munkar (Bernard Erhard). This small talk turns to fisticuffs before our hero wins possession of a fancy battle sword containing one of the three lauded powers. On the road to Munkar's castle in search of the oth...Read the entire review

This title was featured in
The Films of Jack Hill

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This title was featured in
The Films of Jack Hill

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Short Takes

Lana Clarkson returns to once again pop her top and endure some light bondage on a rack in this non-sequel sequel. This time she's Athelia -- a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT revolutionary vixen -- who falls on hard times when her father's rule is hijacked by the evil King Ankaris (Alejandro Bracho) and his snotty bitch-in-training daughter (14-year-old Cecilia Tijerina). After Athelia refuses to hand over her magical scepter of power, she's imprisoned, but easily Houdinis it outta there. A routine she inevitably repeats throughout this tale. Athelia then manages to fit in among the peasants by impressing them with her topless mud rasslin' ski...Read the entire review

Short Takes

Most barbarian flicks are ONLY as good as their damsels in distress, or if you're REAL lucky, their damsels who INFLICT distress. This Argentina-lensed epic boasts BOTH and sets its tone right off when a blonde waif (Dawn Dunlap), absently picking flowers along a river, is attacked by a pair of, um, barbarians who howl something while dropping trou like, "Nothing like a VIRGIN to brighten a man's morning!" Clearly, it's a family picture. While back at the village, the victim's big sis Amethea (Lana Clarkson) is indulging in a ceremonial bath with her closest gal pals in honor of her wedding day. But this preening party ends when hordes of s...Read the entire review

Cats are fabled to have nine lives, but really, being a pooch is where it's at. Especially out in Hollywood where dogs are dern near IMMORTAL. Remember that furry fella who narrowly avoids becoming a crispy critter in Independence Day? The whole planet is getting pounded back to the disco age by space alien rayguns, but for Lassie's sake, make sure man's best friend survives without even a singed whisker. Supposedly, audiences just won't ALLOW canine carnage. Now, if Chuck Bronson machine guns 15 jaywalkers and bazookas a double-parked Pinto we giggle like school girls. Something's AMISS here. Same goes for kiddos. Take the baby carriage scene in The Untouchables. Blood's splattering all over...Read the entire review

MOVIE:
Some might call The Nest campy, but in a way, that overused word denies the depth of incompetence involved in the production. I would call The Nest craptacular, one of those awful, awful horror flicks that's so cringingly bad you can't help but laugh.

The small town of North Port has a cockroach problem. Seems the mayor has inked a shady deal with a genetic-engineering corporation called INTEC, and now mutations are terrorizing his innocent voters. Sounds like a perfectly fine setup for a killer-bug movie, doesn't it? Throw in a cute-as-a-button love interest for the local sheriff, a local exterminator doing his best Bill Murray imitation, an evil INTEC scientist doing her best Ed Wood dialog, and you have the ingredients for a classic. Unfortunately, the film's supposedly killer cockroaches look like they'd rather be sleeping in a half-eaten can of Spam. They'r...Read the entire review

Short Takes

Didya like them Carnosaur movies? Well, you'll LOVE this sucker. Why? Because producer Roger Corman just snipped ALL the dino chow-down scenes and cobbled them together here. He then had B-auteur Jim Wynorski shoot some new narrative bits in a dubious attempt to paste some sense between the carnage. Sorta like Raymond Burr in the Americanized version of Godzilla our heros -- Julia's bubba Eric Roberts and this gal who won't take her top off -- are there merely to poke around the hamburgered bodies and repeatedly say "What was that?!" If there's a plot here someplace it might have to do with Corbin Bernsen ...Read the entire review

It's 2001 and the best we can do is a rotund gay fella who won't keep his drawers on. Whatever happened to the bright vision of the future put forth in Death Race 2000 (1975, 78 minutes)!? This nearly 30-year-old flick makes "Survivor" look just plain silly. The tribe has TRULY spoken when you're a road pizza with extra cheese. That's entertainment! And it came from none other than B-producer Roger Corman who sent directors Paul Bartel and Chuck Griffith off to excrete this gruesome road picture partially inspired by both Ernest "Cannonball" Baker and Ol' Scratch himself. Once the flick hit screens it never stopped running where it remains on the road today among the greatest B...Read the entire review

Some films are fantasies because they take place inworlds wildly different from our own. Rock 'n' RollHigh School is a fantasy because of a few simple,key changes that it makes to this world. The captainof the football team is a dorky reject, the punkydelinquent girl who cuts class is the most desirable,and the Ramones, with all their Noo Yawk rawness, are themost popular band around. In fact, Joey Ramone, withhis gangly Bird Bird awkwardness, is a heartthrob.

While you could make the case that the Ramones (Joey,Johnny, Dee Dee, and Marky) are the greatest rock bandever to blow out an amp, not many consider them sexsymbols. The genius of Rock 'n' Roll High School isthat it puts them in the center of aburning-down-the-school anarchist comedy modeled onearly rock and roll movies like BlackboardJungle and Rock Around The Clock. The plotis simple enough: Evylyn Togar (M...Read the entire review

THE STRAIGHT DOPE:
To be honest, the only reason I wanted to watch Alone With A Stranger is because Mindy Cohn has a small role in it. Mindy, you may remember, played Natalie in The Facts of Life, that fabulous 80's sitcom that has recently entered into constant rotation on Nick at Nite. Unfortunately, Mindy's Alone With A Stranger role is limited to the best friend who pops in a couple of times to show off her new car and offer a few words of encouragement. The movie itself is one of the evil twin melodramas that Lifetime has built its foundations on and that keeps lots of great 80's actresses off the welfare line. In fact, in addition to Cohn, Alone With A Stranger employs Nia Peeples and Priscilla Barnes, Suzanne Sommers' Three's Company replacement.

BLACK SCORPION II: (1996, 85 minutes) pits Joan Severance against TWO baddies: Gangster Prankster and AfterShock. We've got a new Mike (Whip Hubley), but Darcy is just as determined to diddle him senseless. Prankster (Stoney Jackson) is the Def Comedy Jam's answer to The Joker with a Super Soaker full of acid and a busty sidekick named Giggles (who jiggles out of her top at least once). While AfterShock (Sherrie Rose) is a supposedly homely blonde seismologist who turns evil when she accidentally causes an earthquake while attempting to quell one. Curiously, no one recognizes her in her bright-yellow getup, even though her face isn't masked. AfterShock likes to grab fella's by ...Read the entire review

The King of Bs established a lucrative relationship with Showtime in the mid-90s with "Roger Corman Presents," which showcased feature-length reinterpretations of his studio's films. His next movie for the network would borrow from the sex'd up babes of contemporary comics and the floundering big-screen Batman franchise to create a seductive supervixen known as the Black Scorpion (1995, 92 minutes). "I believe the female action hero, comic-book style, has the same primal appeal as the heroines of mythology," Corman reasoned. "The paradox of a woman who is both beautiful and lethal, both seductive and powerful." Audiences agreed and a sequel was quickly produced the following year to meet dem...Read the entire review

Review
Features:Digitally remastered widescreen (approx. 1.85:1). Audio: English (2.0 mono). Theatrical trailer. Director's commentary, cast biographies, Peter Bogdanovich interview, coming attractions

The Movie
One of Peter Bogdanovich's finest films, "Saint Jack" brought the acclaimed director back from erratic success in Hollywood to his economical roots with producer Roger Corman – back to filmmaking inspired by Bogdanovich's idols and mentors, Orson Welles and John Cassavetes, who had always encouraged the young Bogdanovich to make films that were substantial but inexpensive. Based on the Paul Theroux novel and shot entirely on location in Singapore, the film is a sublte, engrossing character study about Jack Flowers (a perfect role for Ben Gazzara), an American pimp in Singapore in 1973, who lives by an unspoken code of honor; he's not your typical sleaze, and ...Read the entire review

One of the more successful of the Star Wars ripoff productions, Battle Beyond the Stars sees Roger Corman back in typical form, making a commercial product with a barely disguised contempt for his audience, in this case almost exclusively small children.  The script is a quickie gloss on The Magnificent Seven that John Sayles must have scribbled off overnight to get out of a contract commitment or something.  Neophyte Akirian Richard Thomas recruits a handful of space warriors to defend his planet from some utterly colorless villains led by John Saxon.  In cameos that at most required a day or two of work by each, the stars say their few lines and make faces for closeups at the controls of various spacecraft, that can later be intercut with special effects.  Thomas is reasonably engaging, Vaughn replays a nothing riff from hi...Read the entire review